Depression: serious business

[John Cochran]

Much has been written on this forum about depression after surgery. I have noted that some people believe that you can just "tough it out" or somehow adjust their attitude and that will fix it. Even though a good attitude and some toughness can help, it is not enough, as I sadly learned last week.

My daughter, 28, called me at home, and I could tell that she was really upset. She had just learned that her long-time boss, a young man of 38, had just committed suicide.

She learned afterwards that he had suffered from depression on and off for a number of years, but had not sought help for it. He had not seemed "depressed" at work, and his death caught everyone by total surprise. Her company, being very progressive, brought in some grief counselors to talk with the people who had been close to him. They explained that clinical depression does not appear to others the same way as "feeling blue" or being visibly sad does. They listed the symptoms of clinical depression, and pointed out how vital it is for anyone who thinks they may have this to get medical intervention.

I am including the following link which is a very good site on depression, its symptoms, types, and treatments.

http://www.learn-about-depression.com/index.php3

Anyone who has symptoms of clinical depression needs to get some help; not doing so can be deadly.

Best wishes to all,
--John

 

[hensylee]

An excellent site to visit to check out all sorts of depression. Clinical depression is not recognized as much as it should be. Think drs don't get enough education on the subject in med school and therefore don't recognize it when it walks into their offices. Great strides have been made over the years in helping depression sufferers.

 

[Creed3]

John:
Thanks for bringing this subject up again. This is a very important issue that I believe needs to be discussed. Even before surgery I suffered from an anxiety disorder for many years. Depression is also a symptom of an anxiety disorder. I was diagnosed with mild anxiety, and if mine was mild I can't imagine what moderate or severe must be like. I tried toughing it out for years. I had my good times and bad times. After about 4 or 5 years I finally went for some help. I then wondered, why didn't I go for help sooner. I felt so good once I decided to get help. I always thought it would make me weak if I asked for help. I have since found out that I am a very strong person because I went for help. I believe the help I received in the past is also helping me to get through this very stressful time I am having with the surgery and recovery. So if there is anyone out there afraid of getting help because they are depressed, please don't be. You can feel good again. Believe me, I have been through it. You are stronger than you think.

Take Care!
Creed

 

[Mara]

John-
As always, you are on the forefront of topics.
After my surgery a psychologist who is a family friend told me to call her if I needed anything because she knew that post-surgical depression can be a major topic.

Men, in particular, don't like to talk about depression and think it's just weakness to give in. A guy who I knew in high school committed suicide in his 20's because he thought no one cared about him and he had a lot of debts and bills and saw no way out. He never even told his parents how bad things were for him, and they certainly had the assets to help him out of his situation.

I am a big proponent of mental healthcare and think everyone has a time in their lives when talking to a therapist can be helpful. If more people did it , there'd be more happy people. Women have friends on whom we unload all our gripes, but sometimes you need a detached person to look objectively at your situation and get you set back on track. There's nothing weak ir wrong with admitting you don't have all the answers, you might even find you learned something that can help with the rest of your life.
-Mara, had my head shrunk and lived to tell the tale.

 

[medtronic of borg]

depression

depression

Have any of you noticed that the meds that can help a great deal for this ....are ungodly expensive?

 

[hensylee]

ALL new meds are very expensive - my dr gave me samples of Aciphex (for stomach upset - like Nexium) along with a rx. Asked the pharmacist how much the rx cost. He said $126.00!!!!!!! Couldn't buy that one. No wonder people send off to Canada and Mexico!

 

[Jean]

Opposite of depression

Opposite of depression

Just heard on NBC this morning that "they" have isolated a gene or chromosone that is directly linked with depression in women. I found this interesting as my mother was always very depressed...at least since I could remember well...in the late 40's early 50's. She eventually developed alcoholism problems. My father and grandparents were what would be called enablers today...not making her get help, letting her drink, hiding the fact that she was often nonfunctional due to depression.

She had the unfortunate problem of bringing this ever optimistic , up person into the world as her first born. I can remember from a very early age wondering at her negative outlook. When she would get so depressed after our brother died of heart problems at 11 months, I would say, but mom you have 3 healthy daughters....and couldn't understand the problem. If she had half a glass of coke, it would always have been half empty where I would say it was half full.

I've often wondered if my outlook was a subconscious reaction to her negativeness...now I just wonder if I have some super optimistic gene instead. I am truly not an ignorant Pollyanna as I have been called. I just naturally think on the positive most of the time. Even now while I fear the future with terrorism, I do think we will win over the evil. It is just very near impossible for me to stay down more that a day or two in the worst of times. Is that as pathological as depression? I think I have an easier time getting through things.

Wow, sorry I babbled on. I just find the whole subject interesting. What really makes us tick?

 

[John Cochran]

Just heard on NBC this morning that "they" have isolated a gene or chromosone that is directly linked with depression in women.

I know some women who would maintain that the chromosome associated with depression in women is the "Y" chromosome in men!

I recall some literature a while back that speculated that people are born "hard-wired" for an optimistic or pessimistic predisposition. So much of our behavior is determined by genetics that I believe it is true. Everyone knows someone who is perpetually "sour" as well as someone who is always "up." I suspect that clinical depression could affect either group, but that the latter group may have less severe symptoms.

One of the truly exciting areas of research in our lifetimes is the exploration of the human genome. Once genes are discovered that affect things like depression, alcoholism and a myriad of other problems, cures may become possible. In the mean time, we will all have to cope the best we can.

--John

 

[Vicki448]

I've read the posts listed here and I like so much what's been said. I, too, have decided that I'm going through a depressive state and need some help. It's almost 3 months shy of my mitral valve surgery, yet I feel like it was 3 weeks ago - not physically, but mentally. I'm more comfortable at home, yet being at home bores me. I wish I could go back to work, yet the thought of driving my car and going to work scares me. I mourn my "loss of good health" and wonder if I'll ever feel "the same" again. So, I've decided to seek counseling - and you know what? It's not easy to find a person who can see you as a new patient, and see you soon. Of course if I called and said that I was "living on the edge", then maybe that would get me in sooner, but I'd hate to exaggerate. So, I'll bide my time. Meanwhile, I've started taking St. John's Wort and I'll give that a few weeks to soak into the bloodstream. I also thought I was too strong of a person to ask for help - I've tried to talk myself into feeling better, but I just can't seem to do that. I did read an interesting article that stated that "pumphead" is often diagnosed when the real problem is depression. I agree with Creed - I am a strong person because I'm strong enough to recognize that I need help!

 

[Nancy]

Good for you Vicki-

Getting help is great! I never understood why people want to try to tough it out anyway. It's just another medical condition, and if help is available then get it. Life is too short to worry about things that have a solution. Go get help, and forget about it and get on with your life. We all should enjoy every minute after being through heart surgery, patients and their loved ones as well.

I see happiness on the horizon.

 

[hensylee]

Vicki - just one thought - while your therapist is evaluating you, you evaluate your therapist. If you are not happy, find another. I hope you can find the help you need. It is a fact that heart patients tend to have depression so it might be that - or part of it. But if you are very depressed, you are making a good decision and I am proud of you for that. Just don't keep anything inside - and while you wait, we will be happy to listen and hold your hand from here - and send our good wishes and prayers along, too. You just take care and take it as easy as you can, for now. You will get there, you know. God bless

 

[Vicki448]

Thanks for the replies and support. I am waiting to hear back from a counselor that I called. Of course, they all need to check out your insurance, etc. No one will just answer their phone and say, "Yeah, come on in!" I just never imagined that this heart surgery would prove to be so complicated! I wonder what's wrong with me when I read about others who are back at work in 3 or 4 weeks - those who say they had no problems whatsoever! All that makes me wonder - "what's wrong with me?" I know that every person heals differently and handles things differently....I guess that's what puzzles me the most = through this I learned that I couldn't handle it and that I had issues to deal with. But, I'm optimistic that all will be OK - I know it will. I have learned to talk with my family about how I feel. When I finally unloaded on them, I was amazed at how wonderful I felt! Pounds had been lifted from my shoulders...I'll keep you posted and also keep in mind that I can cry on all the shoulders here. As I've said before, I could not have come this far without the help of the people here at this website. It's absolutely the best! Keep me in your thoughts and prayers.