Anyone feel misunderstood?

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K

KatherineK.

I'm two months out from an ascending aortic aneurysm repair and subsequent avr. I'm 27 years old and no one close to me can understand what this has been like. I don't want to sound whiny, I just wish I had someone to talk to! I figured this would be a good place to find that. I'm new, I just signed up.
 
You've come to the right place, Katherine.:)
Actually, if you're not careful, we're apt to talk your arm off and hope you reciprocate!:p:p
No one understands what you've been through unless they've been through it themselves. I think we've all learned that.
So please . . . talk away!:)
 
Katharine,
Talk to us!
There's a whole bunch of people on this site who know what you've been through (I'm one with AA repair and AVR) and if you wait around long enough you will probably hear from a few people that are closer to your age.

I'm four months out from surgery and while I had a few bumps, every month has been better, especially this last month. I feel better than ever and can now do things that I couldn't do before OHS. For example, I'm starting to jog again-something I hadn't done in years.
Stay around. Hang with us and ask whatever you want.

John
 
Katherine, welcome to the forum! This place has been a lifesaver for me, maybe literally...

Anyway, even though I haven't been through the repair yet, I can certainly identify with not having anyone that knows what I'm dealing with to talk to. I'm 25, and the aneurysm issue is so rare or unidentified that no one in my circle of acquaintances/friends/family has ever had it. Everyone always seems to have an uncle or a grandpa or someone that has cancer, or heart disease, or something that they make sure to tell me about... but that doesn't make me feel better. They make sure to tell me that I'm going to be OK, but that irritates me because frankly, they don't know that I will be ok and I hate being lied to. So yeah, this misunderstood feeling has bugged me for quite a while.

I hope you find some solace with VR.com. I know it's helped me. Btw, I made a thread that kind of touches on this subject here.
 
Coming to this site, you will have instant understanding. None of your friends and even some family members will know what is going on. All they can relate to (for the most part) is something like a much lesser surgery or childbirth.

But here, everyone knows what it's all about.

So welcome to the site.
 
Welcome! I don't think people understand this at all unless they have been through it. This site should help you a lot. You are not whining. There is always someone to help you with a situation. Hope to hear from you soon.
 
Welcome Katherine,
And please whine away. Its true family and friends may not understand what or how we are feeling........I'm mean really feeling. If they are willing to listen, like us, take advantage of the listening ear, don't shut them out and whine if you have to.
 
Hey Katherine, I think you've disabled your private messages. It says you can't receive them. You can change this setting by going to your usercp. This might be an issue Ross the admin has to fix..
 
Not too long ago, someone, maybe it was Aaron, posted a picture of his aneurism from either a CT Scan or MRI. If you can find that and print it out for your family and friends, maybe that will help them get an incling of what happened to you.

Your observation that people who have never had anything similar or never knew anyone who needed OHS, just 'don't get it' and are totally CLUELESS about how pervasive OHS is to patients.

Welcome to VR.com, whose 1500 active members do 'Get It' when it comes to the impact of OHS on your life.

'AL Capshaw'
 
Katherine, good news: you have definitely come to the right place! Folks here will talk 24/7 about what we have all been through, or what we are waiting to go through. I know what you mean about others not relating -- some of them just can't, I guess. But you will find all sorts of perspectives here from folks willing to share. My OHS was 3 1/2 years ago and is still like yesterday -- my definining experience. My re-birthday, I call it. :):)

Anyway, welcome -- and by all means, talk away! :D
 
Hi Katherine and welcome to our humble home or insane asylum, depends on how you look at it. :D

It's an honest fact that no one understands what you went through except those of us who have been through it. Try as they might, they have NO CLUE. To them, it's like having your tonsils or appendix taken out and they don't realize that if is a major life alteriing event. Your in the right place. We are more then equipped to talk with you. :)
 
Hi and a big Welcome!...
I felt like the youngster on the Cardiac floor and I was 41 so I can see how you would have been feeling like the odd one out even more than I was.

Talk/type away, there are heaps of us here who love a good chat and will even listen patiently to whingeing and whining and even better is that we have all been through OHS so we know how you feel.
 
Ross said:
Hi Katherine and welcome to our humble home or insane asylum, depends on how you look at it. :D

It's an honest fact that no one understands what you went through except those of us who have been through it. Try as they might, they have NO CLUE. To them, it's like having your tonsils or appendix taken out and they don't realize that if is a major life alteriing event. Your in the right place. We are more then equipped to talk with you. :)
Click to expand...

Ross is right, people have no clue. My best friend of 29 years did not believe that I had no memory for 5 days. That happened after they shocked my heart. My friend said she had her gall bladder out (4 tiny incisions) and did not have memory issues. I tried to tell her apple/oranges. Very stressed relationship for awhile. Your not alone.
 
Just want to welcome you- as you can see, you have lots of understanding company here!
 
Hi Katherine,

Welcome. Happy you found us.
The day I stumbled on this site was godsent. I have learned so much here and got such help pre and post surgery that it would have been far more difficult for me without it.

Only those who have 'been there and done it' can really understand. It is a life changing event.

Chat away. Always someone here to 'listen'.
 
Katherine- Even when you're older some folks don't get it! Now I can smile about the e-mail I got right before surgery from our son's MIL saying that she was glad to here I was having a smaller operation and I should do fine. It made me feel like she thought I was going in for an ingrown toenail, instead of a procedure of major proportions! I even called my son to see if she had any idea of what was in the offing......and she did!.......just had no idea that it wasn't a walk in the park.
 
Welcome Katherine. I agree with others that this website is a godsend. I am 33 and just had surgery for both an aneurysm (5.5 cm) and an AVR as well. I am 5 weeks out and am really thankful for the information and support which I have received from the members on this site. Also, you are right in saying that no one who has not been through this type of surgery really does not understand. I have found this to be incredibly true regardless of how close the people are to you or their age. It is just hard for others to understand what we have and are going through.



AVR (St Jude's mechanical) and aneurysm replacement via Bentall procedure 6/30/08 with Dr. David Ott St.Luke's Episcopal Hospital Houston, TX
 
Welcome!

Welcome!

... and i'm SURE you will find PLENTY of people to to bounce things off. I too felt like a baby at 43 on the CARDIAC floor. I know that even my wife doesn't "GET IT". Others may try but it just isn't the same as being there. Go ahead and ask away.
 
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