Rhino19 update....

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I wanted to drop a note on progess and had a long detail of everything typed untill my 5 year old walked up and clossed my session..................I cant go into major detail right now got to get back to hospital. Rough road but all went well, doctor said aortic valve was way worse then he thought and the infection had started away at his mitral valve too. He was able to cut off those 3 dominant spots and not have to replace the mitral only the aortic. He said his age is what kept him going and strength because from how bad it was he realistcally should have gone into cardiac arrest already. The first visit yesterday was good, I was ready for the white chalky bad look and surprised and happy when I saw his red face. He actually started coming out of it too soon so they had to sedate him some more. Last night I saw some of my husband, his roll of the eyes when I said something stupid, his whisper and his squeeze of the hand. I went to bed very content on how things were going. Now today when I went in it was not the man I saw yesterday. I felt like I could look right through him and nobody was home. He showed no emotion no anything. He could hear and comunicate but it was almost like a statue that had been defeated. The only thing he said was "I am sorry for being a shitbag" (I hope that doesnt ofend anyone) It was like he is apologizing for being sick. Today has just been long, he gets mad when the nurses say I have to leave and then distant when I am there. I guess the emotional rollercoaster has started. I hope to see when I go back in few minutes a little more of my husband, because as God Knows I really love and miss him.............................will keep you update and for all those who have been there................I REALLY truly understand what you have gone through now.
 
I was a little nutty, about four days post-op, and I think it was from too much pain medication, too much for me anyway.

Thanks for the update. Hoping each day will be better for him and for you :) .
 
Glad all went well. Each day will get better, give him a hug for us, sending a cyber hug to you.
 
Give it another day and I am sure you will see a changed man- it takes some time for all the anesthesia and meds to wear off. Dick to this day doesn't remember much of those first two days.
 
Things will get better. The drugs do awful things to you. It will get a little better each and everyday. When I was just 2 days post op I started worrying about my next surgery when this valve wears out and spent time each day crying about that and telling my husband that there was no way I could do it again. I know it is harder for my husband to be the "sick" one...he feels like he isn't being a man.

Be grateful that the worst is over and he is on the path to healing. It will get better.

Kim
 
you have both been through alot. give it a few days, Im sure things will improve as he gains some of his strength back.
 
know what you are going through

know what you are going through

I know what you are going through, when adam got out of the surgery, which was more complicated than we thought would be, you could tell that it was an ordeal, even after he was in a regular room, very heartwretching for parents, there was a lot of depression, etc., now he is golfing and going to rehab, he is still healing, but is a lot better than what he was, so it will take time, but you will see improvements, and i am one of the more depressive ones on this site, but you guys will be ok, it just takes time. will keep you in our thoughts and prayers. good luck.
alpha 1
 
I'm betting things will improve and I would think the things you saw in your husband are quite common at some time after surgery. In fact, he may be ahead of the curve in blaming himself for all the consequences of his illness. If it gets worse when you get home, just read some of the earlier posts by people who were depessed, and then what they had to say a few days later!

As for emotional vacancy, well you may be misinterpreting the effects of pain and pain medication. His body has taken a terrific beating but it is already starting to heal. Just remember it's a process and all the surgery did (at least for me) was to mark the dividing line between pre and post. Anyway, I wish you all the best and hang in there!
 
The emotional swings are going to be there....it will get better.....just ride out the storm and understand the things said and personalities are greatly effected by the trauma of surgery and the DRUGS.......I was a freaking loon for about a week!
 
It's a hugely traumatic, stressful event you are both experiencing. Everyone reacts differently and it is possible he may not even remember these early days. I have very sketchy memory from many parts of both my surgeries. Some memories are only snippets. Don't be hurt by things he says or doesn't say. It isn't personal....it's drugs and trauma and not the man you love. He will return to you VERY soon.

Please let us know how you both are doing.
 
I concur with everyone that the drugs really make a difference. In my husband's case, we are not sure whether his mood and cognitive abilities were affected by the anesthesia, meds, or pump head, (or all three) but the improvements came; slowly, but surely. Good to hear he made it over the mountain. As every nurse and doctor told us, there ARE going to be really bad days and usually the next day will be much better. Gauge how your husband is progressing in baby steps, not strides. Focus on the positive and try to let the downtimes slide by. It looks like you have reason to believe that all will be well.
 
Sending out love and prayers for you both. I hope today he's more himself, and that his recovery is a smooth one.
 
It will get better!

It will get better!

Jennifer, You have read my post about how I felt 10 days out. I also sent you the e-mail about ALL the things that he may be feeling in the first few days. I am 3 weeks out as of yesterday and although I feel MUCH better than at 10 days, I have developed new aches, etc. As others have said, he will probably not remember MOST of the first few days. I know food tasted like crap and the bed was terrible and I would wake myself up with these horrible loud snores because I couldn't roll on my side. The meds are TOUGH!!! Pain meds are good for what they do but have side effects. The anesthesia take a LONG time to pull out of. As stated earlier, DON"T TAKE IT PERSONALLY! He is NOT all there! Once they asked me if I wanted to step down from Percocet to Darvocet, I did feel better. I could fight off the sleepiness from Darvocet easier and it didn't leave me in such a fog. Once he feels a little better, you may want to ask the nurses or Doc. I will be praying for you all and waiting to hear about him feeling better.
PLEASE LET US KNOW!
Call me if you need to also.
 
one day and change....but still have questions!

one day and change....but still have questions!

When I walked into the hospital today i couldn't believe the difference I saw. My husband was back over night. He was sitting in a chair and had just walked around the nurses station. From this morning to tonight is hard to comtemplate. The chest tube is gone, the catheter is gone, he is eating solid food, cardiac diet is gone,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,amazing in just 12 hours. You can sit and read posts and posts of people saying that you would be amazed at only a few hours make a difference and you try to understand but until you walk in those shoes you cant really understand. When I was sitting there waiting to get in this evening (strict visiting hours) there were 2 new ladies I hadn't seen before. (after a day or so you know everyone in the unit, only 10 beds) we got to talking and her husband had OHS today. She commented like I did on how well he looked after surgery. I reached out to her and told her what I had gone through and how day 2 shocked me and day 3 amazed me for the better. It felt so good to reach out to someone who was where I was just a few hours earlier and offer some support, just like you guys on the forum :)

I do have one quick question if anyone can relate, I don't remember reading about this anywhere. He keeps complaining that it feels like someone is lightly bobbling his head. It feels like his brain is swaying lightly back and forth in his head. If you look at him his head isn't moving. He held a piece of paper and his hand wasnt shakey or anything. He brought that up to the nurse and she said it could be the medicine. After several hours of this I noticed his IV in his neck is pulsating and the movement from his neck seems to be matching the bobble in his head, is this normal? Also when I left tonight he is now running a fever, haven't before is that normal?

Thanks for all your help and I hope that once this is over I can reach out to others as much as you all have reached out to me!
 
So glad to hear he's feeling, and looking better. I didn't have the head bobbing sensation, but do remember that my heart beat, and pulse were really strong/powerful. So much so that it was disconcerting. I asked the doc about it, and he thought it was due to one of the meds I was on to regulate my heart. Can't remember what it was...It took me weeks to clear my head after all the meds, so this doesn't sound alarming. I would ask the doc about it though. Brian
 
It is so wonderful to hear about the huge turn around your husband has made. I had hoped that it would be that way. Just like a roller coaster ride, lots of ups and downs.
Hope his good progress continues.
 
Not sure what to say about his "bobbling" but I can tell you that my husband had some weird balance problems after his surgery. He would lose his sense of direction if he was standing and closed his eyes, like when he was in the shower.

It has gotten better, but not completely gone away. The cardio rehab therapists taught him an exercise to help out his balance and little by little, it seems to be working.

Your husband's recovery will take a LOT of time. He will improve by leaps in bounds over the next few months, but all the residual side effects may take up to a year to resolve.
 
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