If you remember the Original Hollywood
Squares and its comics, this may bring a tear to your eyes.
These great questions and answers are from the days when
'Hollywood Squares' game show responses were
spontaneous, not scripted, as they are now. Peter Marshall
was the host asking the questions, of course..
Q.Do female frogs croak?
A. Paul Lynde: If you hold their little heads under water
long enough.
Q.If you're going to make a parachute jump, at least
how high should you be?
A. Charley Weaver: Three days of steady drinking should do
it.
Q. True or False, a pea can last as long as 5,000 years.
A. George Gobel: Boy, it sure seems that way sometimes.
Q.You've been havin g trouble going to sleep. Are you
probably a man or a woman?
A. Don Knotts: That's what's been keeping me awake.
Q. According to Cosmopolitan, if you meet a stranger at a
party and youthink that he is attractive, is it okay to
come out and ask him if he's married?
A. Rose Marie: No; wait until morning .
Q.Which of your five senses tends to diminish as you get
older?
A. Charley Weaver: My sense of decency.
Q. In Hawaiian, does it take more than three words to say
'I Love You'?
A. Vincent Price: No, you can say it with a pineapple and a
twenty.
Q. What are 'Do It,' 'I Can Help,' and 'I Can't Get Enough'?
A. George Gobel: I don't know, but it's coming from
the next apartment.
Q.As you grow older, do you tend to gesture more or less
with your hands while talking?
A. Rose Marie: You ask me one more growing old question
Peter, and I'll give you a gesture you'll never forget!
Q. Paul, why do Hell's Angels wear leather?
A. Paul Lynde: Because chiffon wrinkles too easily.
Q.Charley, you've just decided to grow strawberries.
Are you going to get any during the first year?
A. Charley Weaver: Of course not, I'm too busy growing
strawberries.
Q. In bowling, what's a perfect score?
A. Rose Marie: Ralph, the pin boy.
Q. It is considered in bad taste to discuss two subjects at
nudist camps. One is politics, what is the other?
A. Paul Lynde: Tape measures.
Q. During a tornado, are you safer in the bedroom or in the
closet?
A. Rose Marie: Unfortunately Peter, I'm always safe in
the bedroom.
Q. Can boys join the Camp Fire Girls?
A. Marty Allen: Only after lights out.
Q. When you pat a dog on its head he will wag his tail.
What will a goose do?
A. Paul Lynde: Make him bark?
Q.If you were pregnant for two years, what would you give
birth to?
A. Paul Lynde: Whatever it is, it would never be afraid of
the dark.
Q. According to Ann Landers, is there anything wrong with
getting into the habit of kissing a lot of people?
A.. Charley Weaver: It got me out of the army.
Q. It is the most abused and neglected part of your body,
what is it?
A. Paul Lynde: Mine may be abused, but it certainly
isn't neglected.
Q.Back in the old days , when Great Grandpa put horseradish
on his head, what was he trying to do ?
A. George Gobel: Get it in his mouth.
Q. Who stays pregnant for a longer period of time, your
wifeor your elephant?
A. Paul Lynde: Who told you about my elephant?
Q.When a couple have a baby, who is responsible for its
sex?
A. Charley Weaver: I'll lend him the car, the rest is
up to him.
Q. Jackie Gleason recently revealed that he firmly believes
in them and has actually seen them on at least two
occasions. What are they?
A. Charley Weaver: His feet.
Q. According to Ann Landers, what are two things you should
never do in bed?
A. Paul Lynde: Point and laugh!
Squares and its comics, this may bring a tear to your eyes.
These great questions and answers are from the days when
'Hollywood Squares' game show responses were
spontaneous, not scripted, as they are now. Peter Marshall
was the host asking the questions, of course..
Q.Do female frogs croak?
A. Paul Lynde: If you hold their little heads under water
long enough.
Q.If you're going to make a parachute jump, at least
how high should you be?
A. Charley Weaver: Three days of steady drinking should do
it.
Q. True or False, a pea can last as long as 5,000 years.
A. George Gobel: Boy, it sure seems that way sometimes.
Q.You've been havin g trouble going to sleep. Are you
probably a man or a woman?
A. Don Knotts: That's what's been keeping me awake.
Q. According to Cosmopolitan, if you meet a stranger at a
party and youthink that he is attractive, is it okay to
come out and ask him if he's married?
A. Rose Marie: No; wait until morning .
Q.Which of your five senses tends to diminish as you get
older?
A. Charley Weaver: My sense of decency.
Q. In Hawaiian, does it take more than three words to say
'I Love You'?
A. Vincent Price: No, you can say it with a pineapple and a
twenty.
Q. What are 'Do It,' 'I Can Help,' and 'I Can't Get Enough'?
A. George Gobel: I don't know, but it's coming from
the next apartment.
Q.As you grow older, do you tend to gesture more or less
with your hands while talking?
A. Rose Marie: You ask me one more growing old question
Peter, and I'll give you a gesture you'll never forget!
Q. Paul, why do Hell's Angels wear leather?
A. Paul Lynde: Because chiffon wrinkles too easily.
Q.Charley, you've just decided to grow strawberries.
Are you going to get any during the first year?
A. Charley Weaver: Of course not, I'm too busy growing
strawberries.
Q. In bowling, what's a perfect score?
A. Rose Marie: Ralph, the pin boy.
Q. It is considered in bad taste to discuss two subjects at
nudist camps. One is politics, what is the other?
A. Paul Lynde: Tape measures.
Q. During a tornado, are you safer in the bedroom or in the
closet?
A. Rose Marie: Unfortunately Peter, I'm always safe in
the bedroom.
Q. Can boys join the Camp Fire Girls?
A. Marty Allen: Only after lights out.
Q. When you pat a dog on its head he will wag his tail.
What will a goose do?
A. Paul Lynde: Make him bark?
Q.If you were pregnant for two years, what would you give
birth to?
A. Paul Lynde: Whatever it is, it would never be afraid of
the dark.
Q. According to Ann Landers, is there anything wrong with
getting into the habit of kissing a lot of people?
A.. Charley Weaver: It got me out of the army.
Q. It is the most abused and neglected part of your body,
what is it?
A. Paul Lynde: Mine may be abused, but it certainly
isn't neglected.
Q.Back in the old days , when Great Grandpa put horseradish
on his head, what was he trying to do ?
A. George Gobel: Get it in his mouth.
Q. Who stays pregnant for a longer period of time, your
wifeor your elephant?
A. Paul Lynde: Who told you about my elephant?
Q.When a couple have a baby, who is responsible for its
sex?
A. Charley Weaver: I'll lend him the car, the rest is
up to him.
Q. Jackie Gleason recently revealed that he firmly believes
in them and has actually seen them on at least two
occasions. What are they?
A. Charley Weaver: His feet.
Q. According to Ann Landers, what are two things you should
never do in bed?
A. Paul Lynde: Point and laugh!
