Funny Pill - How Many Forum Members does it take to Change a Light Bulb

[perrypiratesdad]

Well, I haven't posted a funny pill for a few days since I haven't felt very funny after losing my job.... but dang it, I need to snap out of my mood, so here is one.


How Many Forum Members does it take to Change a Light Bulb???????


1 to change the light bulb and to post that the light bulb has been changed

14 to share similar experiences of changing light bulbs and how the light bulb could have been changed differently

7 to caution about the dangers of changing light bulbs

1 to move it to the Lighting section

2 to argue then move it to the Electricals section

7 to point out spelling/grammar errors in posts about changing light bulbs

5 to flame the spell checkers

3 to correct spelling/grammar flames

6 to argue over whether it’s “lightbulb” or “light bulb” … another 6 to condemn those 6 as stupid

2 industry professionals to inform the group that the proper term is “lamp”

15 know-it-alls who claim they were in the industry, and that “light bulb” is perfectly correct

19 to post that this forum is not about light bulbs and to please take this discussion to a lightbulb forum

11 to defend the posting to this forum saying that we all use light bulbs and therefore the posts are relevant to this forum

36 to debate which method of changing light bulbs is superior, where to buy the best light bulbs, what brand of light bulbs work best for this technique and what brands are faulty

7 to post URL’s where one can see examples of different light bulbs

4 to post that the URL’s were posted incorrectly and then post the corrected URL’s

3 to post about links they found from the URL’s that are relevant to this group which makes light bulbs relevant to this group

13 to link all posts to date, quote them in their entirety including all headers and signatures, and add “Me too”

5 to post to the group that they will no longer post because they cannot handle the light bulb controversy

4 to say “didn’t we go through this already a short time ago?”

13 to say “do a Google search on light bulbs before posting questions about light bulbs”

1 forum lurker to respond to the original post 6 months from now and start it all over again.

 

[Lisa in Katy]

At the risk of being one of those who add unnecessary personal information, I will say that I found this quite funny! Definitely sounds familiar!

 

[perrypiratesdad]

Lisa, you were supposed to quote the ENTIRE message first.

 

[Ross]

Do we have enough members to cover all of that?

 

[Karlynn]

That was funny. You left out: 5 to PM other members with what they really wanted to say about changing light bulbs.

 

[Ross]

 

[Bonzo Dog]

.............. and one European member to chastise the wasteful Americans for continuing use of traditional light bulbs when energy saving models are available.

 

[perrypiratesdad]

... And one US person to criticize the UK for using energy saving light bulbs that contain Mercury, and now we need to add 500 steps to safely dispose of that said light bulb.

 

[Mary]

Ross posted a very similar funny a few years back.http://www.valvereplacement.com/forums/archive/index.php/t-9742.html

I know; I have a long memory! Just to recap:


How many forum members does it take to change a light bulb?
1 to change the light bulb.

1 to post that the light bulb has been changed.

14 to share similar experiences of changing light bulbs and how the light bulb could have been changed differently.

7 to caution about the dangers of changing light bulbs.

27 to point out spelling/grammar errors in posts about changing light bulbs.

53 to flame the spell checkers.

6 to argue over whether it's "lightbulb" or "light bulb" ... another 6 to condemn those 6 as anal-retentive.

2 industry professionals to inform the group that the proper term is "lamp".

15 know-it-alls who claim they were in the industry, and that "light bulb" is perfectly correct.

156 to email the participant's ISPs complaining that they are in violation of their "acceptable use policy".

109 to post that this forum is not about light bulbs and to please take this discussion to a lightbulb forum.

203 to demand that cross posting to hardware forum, off-topic forum, and lightbulb forum about changing light bulbs be stopped.

111 to defend the posting to this forum saying that we all use light bulbs and therefore the posts are relevant to this forum.

306 to debate which method of changing light bulbs is superior, where to buy the best light bulbs, what brand of light bulbs work best for this technique and what brands are faulty.

27 to post URLs where one can see examples of different light bulbs.

14 to post that the URLs were posted incorrectly and then post the corrected URLs.

27 to post about links they found from the URLs that are relevant to this group which makes light bulbs relevant to this group.

33 to link all posts to date, quote them in their entirety including all headers and signatures, and add "Me too".

12 to post to the group that they will no longer post because they cannot handle the light bulb controversy.

19 to quote the "Me too's" to say "Me three".

4 to suggest that posters request the light bulb FAQ.

44 to ask what is a "FAQ"?

4 to say "didn't we go through this already a short time ago?"

143 to say "do a search on 'light bulbs' before posting questions about light bulbs".

1 new forum member to respond to the original post 6 months from now and to start it all over again.

 

[Lisa in Katy]

I want to be the first of "7 to point out spelling/grammar errors in posts about changing light bulbs". This is all in jest, of course, so I don't need the "5 to flame the spell checkers"! You can tell I'm a little bored!

I noticed that you misspelled haven't in your first sentence.

In your second sentence, I wanted to note that it is incorrect to begin a sentence with the word "But".

In the question, if it is meant as a title, the words "does" and "take" should be capitalized. If it is meant as a question, none of the words, except the first one, should be capitalized. Furthermore, one question mark is appropriate; more than one is redundant and meaningless.

Finally, URL's is not appropriate. The apostrophe signifies possession, not plurality. If URL was actually a word, which it is not, URLs would be the correct plural form.

 

[Bonzo Dog]

... And one US person to criticize the UK for using energy saving light bulbs that contain Mercury, and now we need to add 500 steps to safely dispose of that said light bulb.

............. and another European to post a link http://www.rsc.org/chemistryworld/News/2008/January/07010803.asp showing it's all urban myth scaremongering.

 

[perrypiratesdad]

You crack me up Bonzo... What the heck is on your chest in that picture of your avatar?

 

[Bina]

You crack me up Bonzo... What the heck is on your chest in that picture of your avatar?

Do a Forum Search for Crocodile boobies

 

[Bonzo Dog]

Do a Forum Search for Crocodile boobies

I've done it....... as an energy saving measure http://valvereplacement.com/forums/showthread.php?t=24478&highlight=avatar

 

[perrypiratesdad]

Now that is classic! I never knew cros had boobies!! Haha...

 

[cday]

you say there, I say their

you say there, I say their

In the question, if it is meant as a title, the words "does" and "take" should be capitalized. If it is meant as a question, none of the words, except the first one, should be capitalized. Furthermore, one question mark is appropriate; more than one is redundant and meaningless.

Finally, URL's is not appropriate. The apostrophe signifies possession, not plurality. If URL was actually a word, which it is not, URLs would be the correct plural form.

Lisa,

Would you consider moving a few hours up Hwy 69 and teach in our High School? Ha!

I'm sure you've seen the book -- Eats, Shoots and Leaves that comes with large sticky apostrophes that you can add to people's incorrectly punctuated signs. I guess it has some large blanks to cover some up, too.

 

[Bonzo Dog]

How to rite and speek proper like wot them posh folk does. (when changing a lightbulb)



* A writer mustn't shift your point of view.
* About them sentence fragments.
* As far as incomplete constructions, they are wrong.
* Check to see if you have any words out.
* Don't abbrev.
* Don't use commas, which aren't necessary.
* Don't use no double negatives.
* Don't write a run-on sentence you have to punctuate it.
* Each pronoun agrees with their antecedent.
* Eschew obfuscation.
* In a letter themes reports articles and stuff like that we use commas to keep a string of items apart.
* It is important to never ever under any circumstances split an infinitive.
* Its very important that you use apostrophe's right.
* Join clauses good, like a conjunction should.
* Just between you and I case is important.
* Last but not least, avoid cliches like the plague.
* Never use a long word when a diminutive one will do.
* Never use a preposition to end a sentence with.
* The active voice is preferred. Use of the passive voice is to be avoided.
* Verbs has to agree with their subjects.
* Watch out for irregular verbs which have crope into our language.
When dangling, don't use participles.

 

[ShezaGirlie]

Lisa,

Would you consider moving a few hours up Hwy 69 and teach in our High School? Ha!

Ms. CDay -- you wouldn't happen to know the French and German teacher there who recently retired? She's my cousin..

 

[cday]

Ms. CDay -- you wouldn't happen to know the French and German teacher there who recently retired? She's my cousin..

I'm sorry I don't. But I am not in Tyler ISD.

 

[Marguerite53]

PerryPirate... For someone who's only been with us since May, I'd say you have us pretty well figured out!!!!

THanks for the smile!

And Bonzo, those lightbulbs give me migraines (much to my industrious, changed every bulb in the house husband's dismay) and can set off epileptic seizures for those prone to such disturbances. They need to keep working on that thought.

Marguerite

Well, I haven't posted a funny pill for a few days since I haven't felt very funny after losing my job.... but dang it, I need to snap out of my mood, so here is one.


How Many Forum Members does it take to Change a Light Bulb???????


1 to change the light bulb and to post that the light bulb has been changed

14 to share similar experiences of changing light bulbs and how the light bulb could have been changed differently

7 to caution about the dangers of changing light bulbs

1 to move it to the Lighting section

2 to argue then move it to the Electricals section

7 to point out spelling/grammar errors in posts about changing light bulbs

5 to flame the spell checkers

3 to correct spelling/grammar flames

6 to argue over whether it?s ?lightbulb? or ?light bulb? ? another 6 to condemn those 6 as stupid

2 industry professionals to inform the group that the proper term is ?lamp?

15 know-it-alls who claim they were in the industry, and that ?light bulb? is perfectly correct

19 to post that this forum is not about light bulbs and to please take this discussion to a lightbulb forum

11 to defend the posting to this forum saying that we all use light bulbs and therefore the posts are relevant to this forum

36 to debate which method of changing light bulbs is superior, where to buy the best light bulbs, what brand of light bulbs work best for this technique and what brands are faulty

7 to post URL?s where one can see examples of different light bulbs

4 to post that the URL?s were posted incorrectly and then post the corrected URL?s

3 to post about links they found from the URL?s that are relevant to this group which makes light bulbs relevant to this group

13 to link all posts to date, quote them in their entirety including all headers and signatures, and add ?Me too?

5 to post to the group that they will no longer post because they cannot handle the light bulb controversy

4 to say ?didn?t we go through this already a short time ago??

13 to say ?do a Google search on light bulbs before posting questions about light bulbs?

1 forum lurker to respond to the original post 6 months from now and start it all over again.