Why Me??????

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Poppy

Hi Everyone Does Or Did Anyone Else Have The Same Problems As Me???when I First Started To Feel "not Well" Two And A Half Years Ago,the Cardiologist I Was Refered To Said I Had A Slight Heart Murmer And We Should Keep An Eye On It...i Heard Nothing More For The Next 2 Years..early This Year I Began To Feel Increasingly "not Well"i Visited My Doctor Who Was Surprised I Had Heard Nothing From My Cardiologist And Re-referred Me...he Had As Some Of You May Have Read Moved To U.s.a. All My Notes Had Been Lost So I Was Referred To A New Man...thank Goodness This One Is Really Nice And Thorough...ive Had All The Tests (so I Thought) Including The Double Angiogram And Went For The Results And A Talk As To When I Would Have Surgery For A Double Hvr,,mitral And Aotic....no Such Luck,,i Have A Very Unusual Mitral Valve That Is Not Jetting In The Right Way And They Couldnt Get A Clear Enough Pictureto Go Ahead With The Surgery...now I Have To Wait My Turn For An M.r.i.scan In Order For My Surgeon To Have The Best Chance Of Seeing A Clear Game Plan For The Surgery....i Suppose I Have Always Been A Bit Unusual (even My Perfume Is Called Enigma) So I Should Have Expected All This,,but I Didnt,,,my Point Is,,,does This Happen Often And Has It Happened To You?????i Keep Asking Myself,,,,why Me,,,why Cant I Be Just A Regular Person And If I Was It Would All Be Over Now And I Would Be In Recovery....its Good I Suppose That I Can Still Smile But For How Long Am I Gonna Put My Family Through All This...maybe Only God Knows So I Pray For His Help....sorry Ive Gone On A Bit But You All Are So Supportive,,you Help Me To Keep Going,,,for This I Thankyou......poppy Uk
 
Poppy, when I was 20 yrs old my doc said that I had a murmur, mitral valve prolapse, no worry.
Twenty yrs later they hear aortic stenosis and my life went hay wire!!!
I spent a long time asking myself what the heck happened there? Now I've moved on.
 
Three months ago my friend buried her nephew....he was 20 years old....killed in Iraq.....closed coffin.....it is normal to think why...but as Mary said.....why not......there are many young men and women who would trade places with us if they could.....I'm not being harsh because I understand your feelings....I'm just sharing another perspective........you will be fine...:)
 
Why me?

Because the fickle finger of fate chose you, thats why.

Life is a strange ride at times.

There are only the two well known certainties, Death and Taxes to depend on; beyond that it is a lottery.
 
Hi Poppy
You asked if this has happened to 'us' , well I dont think that many have a
totally smooth pre-surgery , surgery ,and post surgery course.Always , it
seems, something irregular pops up. I waited SO long ,that had I waited
any longer most surgeons would not have wanted to risk surgery on me.
So now , after surgery, my post-op course is irregular.I believe that here
abnormality IS the norm and this is why we have the specialists-Thank
Goodness!!-to help get us over the bumps.
I also understand your feeling re your family , I felt the same way, but
even though its not easy on anyone , I think our families are happy to be
able to help us when we need them most. And for me , it ended up being a
family reunion of sorts:rolleyes:
Wishing you the Best-Dina
 
I would love to be able to say I have never said, "Why me?" However, I have to admit it has come out my mouth a few times. I understand it's all the luck of the draw, or prior life payment, or a lesson to be learned or a million other things but there has been a time or two (or twenty) that I have asked that question.

Sometimes things just don't seem fair. That being said, most of the time I am very pragmatic and just go with what is in front of me and live my life the best way I can without questioning too much. In the end, there isn't an answer anyway so why waste time?
 
Geebee's right.
All of us have probably asked, "Why me?" But it does no good to dwell on it -- it wastes time, can depress us and prevents us from doing something constructive.

You will need to accept what is going on, that you can't avoid having surgery.

The percentages are in your favor. There are many who have had OHS and have gone on to have healthier lives. Just remember that.
 
How long do you have to wait for the MRI?

As the others have said....... There is no answer to the Why Me and no use in dwelling on it.

Why did I have 2 OHS? No one should have to have one..... but Two!!! And where's the promise of no more in the future?

You do what you have to do!

Good luck and please keep in touch with us and let us know how you are doing as you move along in this journey.
 
Why Me????

Why Me????

Thankyou To All Of You Who Replied...your Advice Is Taken To Heart...ive Had A Teary Weekend,,but Tears Of Joy And Pride,,first I Got A Beautiful Gold Locket With A Photo And Lock Of Hair Of My Youngest Grandson From My Youngest Son And Family...a Framed Photo Of My Eldist Beautiful Grandaughter From Herself And Last But Certainly Not Least So Much Love And Support From My Wonderful Husband Pete Who Told Me I Am Beautiful And Whatever Happens Now And In The Future He Will Always Be Here,,,,i Knew This But Just To Be Told Makes It All Worth While And Now I Know Why Me????because I Would Never Have Met All Of You ,,,pete And My Family And Had A Very Privilaged Life Up To Now,,,,i Am Lucky To Have Got So Far As I Will Be 70 Next And Never Had All This Support That You All Give,,,many Thanks Again......in Answer To How Long To My M.r.i Really Dont Know Cos Here In Uk All Medical Treatment Is Free And We Just Take Our Turn Depending On How Urgent It Is..there Are A Lot Of More Urgent Cases Than Me So ?????will Let You Know Soon As I Do.....love And Prayers For Everyone And Godbless Poppy Uk
 
Poppy,
I'm so glad you asked the question, because people responded with the love and support you needed to hear.
Blessings
 
I've found, as in all struggles that life puts in our path, that we learn more and more about ourselves and our fellow travelers because of the struggles. Just think - if you weren't going through this, would your family be as conscious of letting you know how much you mean to them? I'm sure you know they love you, but to be told in such special ways is so wonderful.

I'm sure you'll do well with your surgery. The waiting is the hardest part.
 
Why Me

Why Me

If I can add my 2 cents (or tuppence?) I'm 58 and however things go I've done some things, accomplished some things, seen some things and tried to live a life. Some persons have no chance at all (crib death, child abuse etc), some get to live a little and some live a long time. There are things I still would like to do but life doesn't come with a guarantee. So I remember the past and try to live in the present. And in some stange way I see my stenosis as a gift as I've tried to make amends where necessary and express love to those whose lives I intersect. I guess my new motto is leave nothing unsaid while you have the chance, however long or short that may be.

But I'm still betting that things will turn out great for you!
 
I've asked Why Me? plenty of times. But I'm with Mary when she said Why Not Me? It has change my whole outlook on life, with my faith, family and friends. I no longer ask that question because I see prefectly Why Me. You have to just take one day at a time and make the best of everything . :)Cherish your loved ones.....
 
My daughter Katie

My daughter Katie

had five heart surgeries including implantation of a mechanical valve by the age of 4. Now 7, she has yet to ask that dreaded question, but I'm sure that day is coming.................sigh! I think it is only natural to ask at some point.

I do like the "Why not me?" approach, but that may be harder to convince a child that that is the best attitude to have.............especially since her syndrome is so rare. Anyway, I hope it works for you. You will find lots of love and support here. Keep us posted. Hugs. Janet
 
Cooker said:
Three months ago my friend buried her nephew....he was 20 years old....killed in Iraq.....closed coffin.....it is normal to think why...but as Mary said.....why not......there are many young men and women who would trade places with us if they could.....I'm not being harsh because I understand your feelings....I'm just sharing another perspective........you will be fine...:)
Click to expand...

Everyone fights their own battle in their own way. Maybe if Poppy was stuck in Iraq he would think this was no big deal, but right now the battlefield is in his mind. I think his philisophical questions and feelings are valid if only because he is experiencing them. I think we're doing him a disservice if we missplace the importance of his struggle within. You don't know he'll be "fine".

My brother is an infantryman just back from Iraq for one more week before he goes back, and he doesn't envy me in the slightest. We identify with each other's fears and neither of us believe either is any less good or appreciative of life because we fear death. We have the same overwhelming desire to live a full life and neither of us believe our worth as people is diminished by existential questions or negative feelings about our circumstances. In fact, one could argue some people here are the same age as our soldiers and statistically speaking more at risk of death than soldiers in Iraq.
 
Why Me???

Why Me???

I Hear What You All Have To Say And I Agree With All Of You...life Is For The Living And God Help Us All......aaron,,,,,,,i Am A Lady,,lol......blessings Poppy Uk
 
It's often said, especially on this forum; that we are given only what we can carry. Imagine the size of some of our loads and then count your blessings that it's you that's asked to bear the burden and not someone you love. I hold my scarred heart open to all of you who need some place to set the baggage down, I'll help as much as I can and to me, that's the best gift ever; to be permitted to ease the way for someone else in more need than I. This way, I know that there'll be someone to share mine when the day arrives that I need help.

Thanks again, to all you who make this path a little smoother and thanks to VR.com for giving us a place to give back whatever fortune we may meet in life.

Take Heart, everyone. We live... and these are miraculous times.
Pamela.
 
Beautiful post, Pamela!

Beautiful post, Pamela!

Not much more to add, just a really lovely post. Hugs. J.
 
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