My Dad

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Your Dad shouldn't be waiting for the cardio to tell him that he needs surgery, he should be getting an opinion directly from a surgeon. I would insist that the cardio give him a referral to a surgeon ASAP. The surgeon will order all tests necessary to make the decision.
 
The surgeon will be able to tell from the test results when surgery is indicated. The cardiologist should know this as well. I am not comfortable if they are waiting until your dad is fainting as an indication of surgical necessity.

Medicine has evolved in a much more scientific way than that!

Symptoms play a part in determining surgery, but they are not the only thing. Many people are not symptomatic because their heart can accommodate heart malfunctions to a certain level. Beyond that it starts to go downhill.

The answers will be in the test results.

Your dad needs to be seen by a heart surgeon.
 
Well, then this really stinks, if I tell them he needs to see a surgeon, they wont really take my advice...They are going by what the cardio doc says right now. I am a wreck over this. So, if something happens to my dad, its because he didnt get to see the surgeon in time?
 
JoJo-

It's not a matter of fault. All you can do is point out a few things to your dad, and he will do what he thinks is right for himself. Sometimes. we just have to accept this.

When we have urged someone to do what WE think is right, and they do not respond, well, then we have done our best and have to let go because the person is doing what THEY think is right.

The cardiologist is not standing still on this, he is going to do a stress test and then evaluate the results, right?

So, after the test then perhaps there will be some direction to go in.

My guess is that the cardiologist is going slowly and buying a little time on this because of the high risk issues. Sometimes, they are doing consulting behind the scenes that we don't know about, and that takes time, playing telephone tag between various doctors.

With difficult cases, they even have a meeting sometimes.

So it is a wait and see thing until the cardiologist has all his ducks in a row.

Just say some prayers and come here to vent.
 
Should I tell my mom that my dad shouldnt be working? I mean, he is at work right now with a bad heart...I dont understand why the cardio doc didnt tell him NOT to work, this whole thing is confusing me...
 
jojofromct said:
Should I tell my mom that my dad shouldnt be working? I mean, he is at work right now with a bad heart...I dont understand why the cardio doc didnt tell him NOT to work, this whole thing is confusing me...
Click to expand...

You can suggest, but as Nancy said, that's all you can do, suggestions aren't always taken.
 
Signs can be vague

Signs can be vague

Jojo,

Quick rundown: My husband had a BAV and some heart enlargement. Had an echo after a trip to the ER and then the cardio ordered a heart cath ("Severe" results). Docs said you can wait if you want. We requested to go ahead and meet with the surgeon that day. Met with him and he didn't seem to be in a hurry either. We asked that it be done ASAP (tomorrow if possible) -- everyone was willing to comply with our wishes for quick surgery. So he had surgery the following week.

My husband only had vague symptoms which he never recognized - lightheadedness when singing at church and mild tightness in the chest upon first beginning to exercise -- then it would go away. My husband is very athletic and used to a few tight muscles so he didn't really heed those "signs". My husband is 8 weeks post-op and doing very well -- stamina not high enough for 3 sets of tennis, but getting better every day.

Maybe your dad thinks he is being disrespectful if he asked for something different than what the cardio is suggesting. Maybe you don't understand this because times have changed -- but your dad grew up in a golden age of medicine - Dr Kildare, etc. - I don't think patients were as involved in the decisions as we are today.

I would have your dad or mother ask the cardio if they could go ahead and meet with the surgeon. He will not be offended -- your dad will need a surgeon in the near future.

It is a very scary time for the family members. The patient, I guess, think he feels fine or normal (Isn't everyone lightheaded while singing? -- uh, NO!). But the best course of action is not to fret (easier said than done), but to take the next step. Meet with the surgeon.



As has been asked on this site many times before -- the question for the doc is "Why wait?" They may have a great reason that is specific to your dad because of his specific medical issues.
 
Jojo- We have excellent surgeons here where we live, but sometimes it's in your best interest to travel to a place where the surgeon has had lots more experience dealing with difficult cases. My cardiologist realized I had very unusual problems and was willing to search for the best place for me to go. At my final visit with my surgeon after AVR he mentioned that he thought there were only two places that could have operated on me successfully. I asked what the other was and it was the Cleveland Clinic. Guess a lot depends on the nature of the problem, too.
Good luck to you all.....what a hard time for everyone!
 
You are all wonderful!

Nancy, your last post made me feel ok, thank you so much! It really made me feel better.

I talked to my mom this morning. She wants me to talk to my dad tonigt about the website. I will, maybe he will join.

My Mom said he wants to cut the grass tonight, on his tractor, AFTER WORKING ALL DAY since 4am...My mom said NO, the grass can be done on the weekends...UGH...He better listen to my mom...

I just pray and hope he will be OK until the surgery, its now until we know something that is scary to me...that WHAT IFs...

THAT SCARES ME MOST
 
JoJo-

The perspective I come from is helping Joe through so many operations and procedures and other medical treatments, that I cannot even remember them all. So this is what I've discovered.

It is total waste of your time and energy to devote another second to worrying about "what-ifs". Really--what if--anything? Anything can happen to anyone of us. We just can't go on worrying about everything.

The only time to worry about something is when it is happening and there isn't anything being done for it.

As it stands right now today, your dad is doing his normal routine and even feels well enough to want to mow the lawn on his tractor.

He's a stoic, high energy guy with apparently a no quit body. Good for him! Your mom will keep him in tow, I bet. I'm sure she's had many years with him and knows just how to handle him when he starts to go too far. She'll keep a good eye on him.

The most important thing for you is to be your parent's daughter and buddy. Let them know that you will be there for them both. Your mom may need some support through all this too.

And let the worrying go until there is really something to worry about. It may never happen. Your dad could go on like this until surgery, have his surgery, recover and come out of this just fine.

Try to keep your parents spirits in good shape through this difficult time by being a little more upbeat. You may have to be a great actress to accomplish this. I bet your dad is just as worried as everyone else, and is doing the only thing that helps him get through--keeping to his normal routine. Men are like that, you know--:p
 
Nancy

That is by far the best advice I have ever received regarding my dads health. I want to print this and hang it in my office at work.

Thank you so much.

I will keep you all posted, who knows, maybe my dad will come on the site. I will have to show him in person how to post. We will see.

THANK you so much!!!

I am sure I will write more later...back to work now...
 
Good Morning

I am a bit depressed today, it comes and goes with me. Last night I talked to my mom and dad. My dad seemed in good spirits, he said once he gets a symptom he will let them know right away. I still dont get it but thats fine. I just PRAY nothing happens to my dad now until we know more of whats going to happen with the surgery. Thats what concerns me most.

Are there a lot of people that are in my dads situation?
 
Not all heart patients show symptoms with Valve Disease.
The Heart can 'compensate' for stenotic valves by pumping harder. The problem with that is that the heart may enlarge and damage can be done to the heart muscles and walls. There comes a point when that damage is IRREVERSIBLE, even with surgery.

Another issue with 'symptoms' is that when symptoms do appear, it is a result of Damage to the Heart. That's why many cardiologists and especially surgeons rely on TESTS to determine the state of the heart and valves and recommend Fixing the Problem BEFORE there is permanent damage to the heart. It seems to me that your dad does not want to hear that message and is resisting "Preventive Maintenance".

Several of our members who did not think they had 'symptoms' reported AFTER their surgery that they felt better or more energetic and concluded that what they had previously attributed to "growing older" or "being out of shape" must have really been "symptoms" of their Valve Disease.

In the exteme case, for MANY people, their first "symptom" of Heart Disease is DEATH.

It seems that your dad has already had some warning bells. Which 'symptom' does your dad plan to heed?

Did your Dad ever get copies of his Echocardiogram Test Reports (and any other test results)? Without some Numbers, we, you, and he are just speculating and guessing.

'AL Capshaw'
 
Don't wait for symptoms

Don't wait for symptoms

Jojo,

I hesitated to tell you this before because you worried enough as it is -- but I think your dad should know that the first sign could be very serious and without warning.

My husband's first recognizable symptoms were fainting and going in to cardiac arrest while warming up for tennis - he was not playing - just light warm-up. By the grace of God there were very experienced people right beside him that very working to revive him within seconds. And by the grace of God they were able to revive him -- not by any stretch of the imagination an easy thing to do on someone with BAV w/ stenosis. CPR does not have a high rate of success outside of a hospital setting -- around 2%.

It seems he is thinking the symptoms will start at a very mild level and slowly progress -- not always. Better safe than sorry.
 
Hi JoJo,
Ive been keeping up with your posts,and yes so difficult on family
sitting watching those of us that are in need of surgery.
I had a avr 16 years ago and then too i had a leaky mitral valve.
My surgeon said the leaky m valve would outlast the mechanical he'd replaced 16 years ago........Well it hasn't due to having endocarditis
in 2006 and alot of other things wrong,i'm in need of a mvr soon.
47 years old now and since nov.2007 the symptoms began with the mitral.
I am just waiting for another cardiologist appointment in another city.
I started having episodes of leg edema,episodes of dyspnea,angina,i am
in chronic artrial fib,my legs are quite puffy but hasnot travelled to my ankles
as i have also the heart failure,so my family dr. is watching me closely till
i get my appointment,i am working at a rcmp detach,cellblock the cement floor,kills me my legs feel like 100 lb. sandbags at end of shift. Stairs leave me breathless,walkings a chore,but one thing your dad knows his limits as i do.The left arterial side of my heart is swollen and im still tredding,but carefully.My family would rather i stay home,but i find my sanity in my work
and my coworkers are understanding and some have had ohs as well.
But 2nd time surgery for me and my oldest son to youngest to my 26 year old daughter are not coping well with it either,they were to little 16 years ago to remember.My husband went through this on the other side already,hes more prepared for 2nd round.All i can say is it is so difficult on the family the ones not having surgery themselves and sitting back watching us,such as you watching your dad,I couldn't imagine if it were my husband or children trading places with me and i on the other side of this would be so stressful. I still commend this waiting is the hardest on everyone and thats were i really need to keep busy at work,this is just my point of view,and opinion on self,but i want you to know that these words of comfort are so true,we know our limits
our body tells us and im sure your dad is keeping his mind occupied as well.
I do hope you get him to vr site if you can,and JoJo my prayers are with you
at this time,and keep us posted:)


zipper2
 
My father is not is NOT resisting "Preventive Maintenance".

he is doing everything the cardio asks of him...
 
and also I have talked to my dad and my mom, and they seem ok with what is going on now, I cant force him to do anything else...what can I possible do more??? I told him to talk to the surgeon if he wants more answers...

I know your trying to help but I get the impression the last few posts your telling me that my father will die if he dont do something about it...he is doing what he is told...

Nancy, are you on today ?
 
I for one don't mean to say he WILL die before he recognizes symptoms.

I am relaying information about our experience -- not suggesting that the same thing will happen to anyone else -- but that it is within the scope of what CAN happen.

First, that the symptoms that my husband was told to look for were more severe than the slight lightheadedness that he experienced while singing. So he didn't recognize it as a symptom.

Second, any chest related discomfort (pain or not) should be taken seriously by the patient when they have valve issues.

If he and your mother feel comfortable waiting -- great. I am not saying he HAS to push forward. Just letting him hear all the scenarios.

Sorry if it sounded fatalistic.
 
Thanks Cday, I know you meant well. I am having a hard time with this, I think I am more worried then BOTH my parents because I do a lot of research on the internet which sometimes makes it worse for me. I have a hard time accepting things sometimes...

I just worry about my dad NOW until the surgery...he is at work and working and lifting things and stuff, it just scares me...I dont want anything to happen...:(
 
I think Nancy has offered excellent advice. You really can't do anything to affect a change in someone else, so until your Dad is scheduled for surgery I hope you can find a way to worry less.

Maybe you could tell your folks that you're worried and ask that they join VR as a favor to you. At that point they could read and evaluate for themselves the information that is offered on the site.

Keep your chin up!:)
 
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