I informed some of the people I am doing project work with that I would be out for a few days, beginning the 28th. One query back wished that everything would work out, and expressed regret that it wasn?t any of their business what was happening to me. (It?s very bad form to ask these questions at work.) So I responded (It?s apparently okay if you freely tell them) as to what I am going to do:
?Actually, I'm going to pay a man to do what so many have yearned to do for free all these years: he's going to break my nose.
?Hopefully, he'll put it back together in a better configuration. The likely cause is that during my son's early childhood, he did that thing where they sit in your lap and fling their heads back into your face. Apparently, he got in a pretty good shot, which rerouted my septum rather dramatically. My nose didn't look crooked, so I never went to the doctor. Now, almost twenty years later, I get to add this to my lexicon of Revolting Procedures That I Have Been Subjected To.
?Nothing particularly dangerous about it. There are the usual warnings about losing vision and brain damage. The only listed side-effect that struck me as concerning was, "unexpected changes to the external appearance of the nose." Does that mean I might have to push my nose out of the way to look at things with my right eye? Will I need "special" sunglasses? Will I be able to pick things up with it? Perhaps play the piano?
?All this remains to be learned.?
?Actually, I'm going to pay a man to do what so many have yearned to do for free all these years: he's going to break my nose.
?Hopefully, he'll put it back together in a better configuration. The likely cause is that during my son's early childhood, he did that thing where they sit in your lap and fling their heads back into your face. Apparently, he got in a pretty good shot, which rerouted my septum rather dramatically. My nose didn't look crooked, so I never went to the doctor. Now, almost twenty years later, I get to add this to my lexicon of Revolting Procedures That I Have Been Subjected To.
?Nothing particularly dangerous about it. There are the usual warnings about losing vision and brain damage. The only listed side-effect that struck me as concerning was, "unexpected changes to the external appearance of the nose." Does that mean I might have to push my nose out of the way to look at things with my right eye? Will I need "special" sunglasses? Will I be able to pick things up with it? Perhaps play the piano?
?All this remains to be learned.?
), I will tell you that I considered it a pretty yucky procedure. I insisted upon staying awake, and other than smelling my blood vessels being cauterized, it wasn't too bad. 
