Cooker:
The only place hotter than Arizona in the summer, during the monsoons, is the place where the devil makes his home. It's so hot in Arizona that:
the birds have to use potholders to pull worms out of the ground.
the potatoes cook underground, and all you have to do to have lunch is to pull one out and add butter, salt and pepper.
farmers are feeding their chickens crushed ice to keep them from laying hard-boiled eggs.
the cows are giving evaporated milk.
the trees are whistling for the dogs.
you no longer associate bridges (or rivers) with water.
you can say 113 degrees without fainting.
you eat hot chilies to cool your mouth off.
you can make instant sun tea.
you learn that a seat belt makes a pretty good branding iron.
the temperature drops below 95, you feel a bit chilly
.
you've experienced condensation on your butt from the hot water in the toilet bowl.
you would give anything to be able to splash cold water on your face.
you can attend any function wearing shorts and a tank top.
The 4 seasons are: tolerable, hot, really hot, and ARE YOU KIDDING ME??!!
you discover that in July, it takes only 2 fingers to drive your car.
you discover that you can get a sunburn through your car window.
you notice the best parking place is determined by shade instead of distance.
hot water now comes out of both taps.
it's noon in July, kids are on summer vacation, and not one person is out on the streets.
you actually burn your hand opening the car door.
you break a sweat the instant you step outside at 7:30 a.m.
But it sure is nice in the winter when the rest of the country is up to it's knees in snow.
Regards,
Blanche
