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martinandamanda

Hi guys

I came home this afternoon from the garden centre, and found my hubby in a state on the settee. He just lost it at work and could not stop crying. they sent him home and he called the doctor. Well,he went to the doc and after breaking down in the surgery, the doc just told him to go home and wait for a telephone call from a specialist team as he wanted to get their adviceon medications. They called half hour later, and asked questions like "was he feeling like committing suiside" etc etc. He told them that he did'nt and all he wanted to do was to ask the doctor why he was so sad all the time. We are now having to wait for a call in the morning as one of this team wants to come out to see him. He feels like they have pulled it out of proportion, and worries that they think he is mad and will admit him (all this for crying in the doctors surgery!)

he has not been himself since surgery 17 months ago, and I know that he needs some kind of med to help him to get through this. I was on a med for PND and know that his symptoms are not that servere as he is up and down, but still gets dressed in a morning and goes to work. He also eats OK.

I dont know what tomorrow will bring. Also, are antidepressants dangerous with plavix.

Thanksguys

Amanda
 
Amanda,

I don't have any advice to offer but just wanted to let you know I was thinking of you both. It must be a really hard situation to know what to do and I really hope the medical people are of assistance and give you the help you need without blowing things out of proportion. - Jeanne
 
Oh Honey-

Please--I want you to know that depression is EXTREMELY common after open heart surgery. It is not just an emotional thing either, there is a physical component to it too. Your husband will benefit from anti-depressant meds, I am sure.

I wish you had mentioned this sooner, we would all reassure you about it and urge you to get him to a specialist and on something.

My own dear husband suffered from it and was on Paxil for many, many years. It helped so very much.

You tell your dear husband that this is a common thing and not to get all stressed out anymore than he is about it. It is treatable.

If you do a search for depression on this site, you will see all the people who have had the same problems.

It can be helped, it can be helped, it can be helped.

Hold him tight and give him a BIG kiss and tell him it can be helped!
 
Amanda, this is not new to VR. Depression and heart situations go hand in hand as any cardiologist will tell you. In the past there have been members who were really really depressed, some who were mild - it covers a large ground. I sincerely hope that the medical team will know that it can very well be because of his heart and they can get some antidepressants into him and perhaps some psychiatric visits to bring him around. I expect maybe he has been hiding this from you? Depression is so miserable and many of us can relate and send our most sincere support. If there is ANYTHING we can do from this end, please let us know and please keep us in the loop. God bless him. Tell him we said so.
 
Hi Amanda - I'm really sorry to read what Martin and you are going through and I hope things will get better soon. If he is put on a med for this, please read up on the possible and/or probable side effects; many antidepressants can make things much worse--even shockingly so--before things begin to get better.

The good thing is, as Nancy says, this can be helped and he can feel better.
 
Sorry to hear you and your husband are going through this. I don't have any advice other than echo what others have said. OHS can be a life changing event and it takes time to heal physically and emotionally. With the right assistance and support, I am sure your husband will get through this. Don't forget to take care of yourself as well.
 
Hi Amanda,

The others are correct. Cardiac depression is a very common issue heart valve surgery patients.

In my initial research, I learned that between 35-75% of patients experienced some form of cardiac depression following a procedure.

I was one of them. My rollercoaster ride, unlike your husbands, occured in months 2-3 post-op.

Ohhh, was it miserable. I drove my family insane!

In further research, I ran an online survey of almost 100 heart valve surgery patients. What has surprised me most in this study was how counseling and therapy was typically NOT used as an effective recovery mechanic (similar to physical cardiac rehab.)

Only 9% of patients surveyed met with a counselor or therapist.

That said, I have to ask... "Is your husband in therapy?"

FYI, the idea for writing my book came about in a session with my therapist. I really wanted to help others understand the challenging and often mismanaged element of cardiac depression - for both the patient and the caregivers.

Looking forward to your response. And, I wish you well.

Adam
 
Thanks for your kind words of support.

Martin did see a cardiac councillor about 3 weeks after his OHS as he had endocaditis and got very depressed in hospital. We had about 3 sessions with her but we were not too impressed as. She and the cardiologist just keep saying get on with your life, but its very hard when your down to pull yourself back up. We have mentioned to his cardiologist a few times when discussing various problems how hard it is and he again will say get on with your life.

we will have to see what today will bring. will let you know.

Thanks again

Amanda x
 
when my ex was in medical school, matters of the mind were glossed over and not generally taught. These days it IS taught. The medicals you speak of should know that there are times when we are simply not able to pull ourselves out of depression and need help. We can't just 'get over it'. Most doctors will prescribe an antidepressant and find out how to help her/his patient when things become this dire. Please seek advice from someone else - if that is an option. Your husband needs help from what you describe.
 
martinandamanda said:
Thanks for your kind words of support.

Martin did see a cardiac councillor about 3 weeks after his OHS as he had endocaditis and got very depressed in hospital. We had about 3 sessions with her but we were not too impressed as. She and the cardiologist just keep saying get on with your life, but its very hard when your down to pull yourself back up. We have mentioned to his cardiologist a few times when discussing various problems how hard it is and he again will say get on with your life.

we will have to see what today will bring. will let you know.

Thanks again

Amanda x
Click to expand...

Any chance Martin can get a different cardiologist? This one sounds uninformed or indifferent. Best wishes to Martin getting the help he needs.
 
Amanda-

If the cardiologist isn't going to do anything to help, this is the kind of problem that is not strictly cardiology--get an appt. with an Internal Medicine doctor. They handle these things all the time, and maybe you'll get faster help there.

As I said before, this differs some from ordinary depression, in that there are some physical components caused by the surgery itself. It is not something that is discussed nearly as much as it ought to be in medical circles. However, there are numerous articles about this problem as it relates to open heart surgery. Just do a search on Google for depression and open heart surgery and you will be able to read them.

Don't let this go on and on without some help. Martin needs you to advocate for him right now. You've got to be tough and stand up to the negative care he is getting for this. It is not in his best interests, and "chin up" is just not going to "cut the mustard" as they say here.

Sometimes the spouses role is so difficult, I know, I've been there and done that for years and years. It's especially hard if you are a shy person and not used to standing up to opinionated people who want to blow you off. But trust me, the first time you do stand up to them it might be very difficult, the second time it will be easier, and after a while, you will have no problem whatsoever. So help Martin out right now. It is the most important thing for him.
 
Just an update

Just an update

Hiya guys just to update. Today we had a phonecall from a crisis team (mental health team) asking what Martins mental state was. When he said that he was not too bad today, they asked if he was still feeling suisidal!!!:eek: He questioned why they thought that and they said that was what the doctor had said. We were not too impressed so went back to the doctors today. It has now been made clear to the doctor by myself and martin that he is not at suiside stage, but just sad and unhappy since the operation. He agreed that the way forward was councillor and possible medication based on what is said tomorrow (first councillor visit).
The doctor said that if a man gets upset like he did, there is more chance that they will do something stupid. We had to explain that martin was very sensitive, and will react more emotionally anyway.:rolleyes:

we will see what happens anyway.

thanks again for your support.

A
 
Keep the fire to their feet, it is the only to get good help, I swear! Make sure that Martin gets the help that he needs, no matter what. He may have good days and bad days, but bottom line is that he also could be feeling very much better with a little help. I think others will agree that it is not something he can wish away, if it were, it would be gone by now. So don't let up the pressure on those who are charged with his care.

Life is way too short to waste it on feeling poorly when you can feel better. If there was no hope, it would be a different thing, but there is hope and a lot of it, that he can feel normal again.

You be TOUGH, gal! If they aren't talking about you behind your back, then you aren't nearly tough enough. You want them to think you are a great big B
 
We all listen to Nancy, the mother of the site. She knows whereof she speaks.

It's good to hear a counselor is involved now. Wishing Martin a good visit tomorrow.
 
One thing I would add - you could ask if he continues to need to be on Plavix. My surgeon wanted me to be on it for six months, but my Cardio said two would be fine. They talked - and six months it was. Anyways, it might be possible that he could get off it and allow him to take some anti-depressants that would help.
 
Amanda -

So sorry you are dealing with this. Yes, it is common among heart patients. I have lived and fought with it my whole life. Depression can strike without warning at any time and it is often the loved ones who end up helping to boost the person up so they can seek treatment as they often cannot do it for themselves.

Do stick with it until you see the right Dr. and get the right medicine. I did not get treated by my primary doc or cardio but sought the help of a Psychiatrist. They understand the psychiatric meds and also what they may conflict with. If your PCP or cardio will work with you then so much the better, the point is to get help and to end the suffering.

Please understand that the FIRST antidepressant that is prescribed may or may NOT work. Don't despair if it doesn't, not all of them work for everyone. Psychiatry is much more of an art than a science and the choice of meds is often by trial & error. This can be very upsetting to folks who just want relief and yet you need to understand that if the first med doesn't work it does NOT mean that others will fail and that your depression is untreatable. It took me 3 different meds to find the one that really works well for me. "Talk therapy" with a psychoanalist can be very effective either alone or in addition to treatment with medications.

I wish you well in your journey to find peace of mind.

Ruth
 
The following is a quote from an article in the " Journal of the American Medical Association" from 2006. The author is Dr. Mary Whooley, and associate professor of medicine at the University of California-San Francisco.



Almost half of those who are hospitalized for cardiovascular problems go on to develop depression, new research published in the Journal of the American Medical Association concludes.

On the other hand, 80 percent of the heart patients who are treated for depression eventually respond to treatment, researchers at the University of California, San Francisco, found.

But they warned in Wednesday's issue of the journal that depression among heart patients is underdiagnosed, noting that the problem is far more common than among the 1-in-20 people in the general population who has depression.

Depression may have been present before heart problems surfaced or been caused by the mental stress of having cardiovascular issues, the researchers said. But the physical effects of surgery can also spark depression, they said, noting prior scientific findings that tiny clots can travel to the patient's brain after cardiovascular surgery, triggering problems including depression, experts told the Associated Press .

A positive side effect of taking depression medication after heart surgery is that most antidepressants help make the blood less likely to clot, possibly preventing future cardiovascular problems, the wire service reported.

Hope this helps some. There are many more articles that deal with this topic. You may want to run a search.

Kindest regards,
Blanche
o
 
Thats really helpful thankyou. We were just reading them together and it all makes sense and puts the pieces together.

Today Martin saw a Psychiatric nurse who is liasing with a team and our doctor, and they are starting some medication this week, and councilling over the next few weeks.

We feel better now that somebody is listening and thank you guys for all your support.

You are all fantastic.
:D
 
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