G
geebee
I thought these were really funny and wanted to share them.
Here is the Washington Post's Mensa Invitational, which once
again asked readers to take any word from the dictionary, alter it by
adding, subtracting, or changing one letter, and supply a new
definition. The 2006 winners are:
1. Cashtration (n.): The act of buying (or building) a house,
which renders the subject financially impotent for an indefinite period
of time.
2. Ignoranus: A person who's both stupid and an a**hole.
3 Intaxication: Euphoria at getting a tax refund, which lasts
until you realize that it was your money to start with.
4. Reintarnation: Coming back to life as a hillbilly.
5. Bozone (n.): The substance surrounding stupid people that
stops bright ideas from penetrating. The bozone layer, unfortunately,
shows little sign of breaking down in the near future.
6. Foreploy: Any misrepresentation about yourself for the
purpose of getting someone into bed.
7. Giraffiti: Vandalism spray-painted very, very high.
8. Sarchasm: The gulf between the author of sarcastic wit and
the person who doesn't get it.
9. Inoculatte: To take coffee intravenously when you are running
late.
10. Hipatitis: Terminal coolness.
11. Osteopornosis: A degenerate disease. (This one got extra
credit.)
12. Karmageddon: It's when everybody is sending off all these
really bad vibes, and then the Earth explodes and it's a serious bummer.
13. Decafalon: (n.): The grueling event of getting through the
day consuming only things that are good for you.
14. Glibido: All talk and no action.
15. Dopeler Effect: The tendency of stupid ideas to seem smarter
when they come at you rapidly.
16. Arachnoleptic Fit (n.): The frantic dance performed just
after you've accidentally walked through a spider web.
17. Beelzebug (n.): Satan in the form of a mosquito, that gets
into your bedroom at three in the morning and cannot be cast out.
18. Caterpallor (n.): The color you turn after finding half a
worm in the fruit you're eating.
The Washington Post has also published the winning submissions
to its yearly contest in which readers are asked to supply alternate
meanings for common words. And the winners are:
1. Coffee, (n.) the person upon whom one coughs.
2. Flabbergasted, (adj.) appalled by discovering how much weight
one has gained.
3. Abdicate, (v.) to give up all hope of ever having a flat
stomach.
4. Esplanade, (v.) to attempt an explanation while drunk.
5. Willy-Nilly, (adj.) impotent.
6. Negligent, (adj.) absentmindedly answering the door when
wearing only a nightgown.
7. Lymph, (v.) to walk with a lisp.
8. Gargoyle, (n.) olive-flavored mouthwash.
9. Flatulence, (n.) emergency vehicle that picks up someone who
has been run over by a steamroller.
10. Balderdash, (n.) a rapidly receding hairline.
11. Testicle, (n.) a humorous question on an exam.
12. Rectitude, (n.) the formal, dignified bearing adopted by
proctologists.
13. Pokemon, (n.) a Rastafarian proctologist.
14. Oyster, (n.) a person who sprinkles his conversation with
Yiddishisms.
15. Frisbeetarianism, (n.) the belief that, after death, the
soul flies up onto the roof and gets stuck there.
Here is the Washington Post's Mensa Invitational, which once
again asked readers to take any word from the dictionary, alter it by
adding, subtracting, or changing one letter, and supply a new
definition. The 2006 winners are:
1. Cashtration (n.): The act of buying (or building) a house,
which renders the subject financially impotent for an indefinite period
of time.
2. Ignoranus: A person who's both stupid and an a**hole.
3 Intaxication: Euphoria at getting a tax refund, which lasts
until you realize that it was your money to start with.
4. Reintarnation: Coming back to life as a hillbilly.
5. Bozone (n.): The substance surrounding stupid people that
stops bright ideas from penetrating. The bozone layer, unfortunately,
shows little sign of breaking down in the near future.
6. Foreploy: Any misrepresentation about yourself for the
purpose of getting someone into bed.
7. Giraffiti: Vandalism spray-painted very, very high.
8. Sarchasm: The gulf between the author of sarcastic wit and
the person who doesn't get it.
9. Inoculatte: To take coffee intravenously when you are running
late.
10. Hipatitis: Terminal coolness.
11. Osteopornosis: A degenerate disease. (This one got extra
credit.)
12. Karmageddon: It's when everybody is sending off all these
really bad vibes, and then the Earth explodes and it's a serious bummer.
13. Decafalon: (n.): The grueling event of getting through the
day consuming only things that are good for you.
14. Glibido: All talk and no action.
15. Dopeler Effect: The tendency of stupid ideas to seem smarter
when they come at you rapidly.
16. Arachnoleptic Fit (n.): The frantic dance performed just
after you've accidentally walked through a spider web.
17. Beelzebug (n.): Satan in the form of a mosquito, that gets
into your bedroom at three in the morning and cannot be cast out.
18. Caterpallor (n.): The color you turn after finding half a
worm in the fruit you're eating.
The Washington Post has also published the winning submissions
to its yearly contest in which readers are asked to supply alternate
meanings for common words. And the winners are:
1. Coffee, (n.) the person upon whom one coughs.
2. Flabbergasted, (adj.) appalled by discovering how much weight
one has gained.
3. Abdicate, (v.) to give up all hope of ever having a flat
stomach.
4. Esplanade, (v.) to attempt an explanation while drunk.
5. Willy-Nilly, (adj.) impotent.
6. Negligent, (adj.) absentmindedly answering the door when
wearing only a nightgown.
7. Lymph, (v.) to walk with a lisp.
8. Gargoyle, (n.) olive-flavored mouthwash.
9. Flatulence, (n.) emergency vehicle that picks up someone who
has been run over by a steamroller.
10. Balderdash, (n.) a rapidly receding hairline.
11. Testicle, (n.) a humorous question on an exam.
12. Rectitude, (n.) the formal, dignified bearing adopted by
proctologists.
13. Pokemon, (n.) a Rastafarian proctologist.
14. Oyster, (n.) a person who sprinkles his conversation with
Yiddishisms.
15. Frisbeetarianism, (n.) the belief that, after death, the
soul flies up onto the roof and gets stuck there.
