I haven't been around much lately

[Barbara Stewart]

Hi everyone,

I hope you all had a happy Thanksgiving and that all is as well as can be expected. I cooked a turkey for 10 people! I've never had that many people over and I was pleased with how it turned out, except the turkey didn't get fully cooked. Fortunately enough of it was cooked to serve.

I wanted to know if anyone else has experienced this sort of reaction. Every since I had my pacemaker put in I have been tired and depressed (they may be the same). For all I know it's working and all is well, but I no longer think positively. I am now officially a heart patient and if the last year and a half are an indication, what's left of my life is going to be one illness after another. I haven't thought like that ever, but somehow the pacemaker was the "straw". I'm also afraid.

I couldn't figure out anyone else to talk to who might understand, so I came here. What do you all think? Am I just normal, that is depressed under the circumstances? I am taking antidepressants.

Thanks guys,
Barbara

 

[Mary]

Barbara,
I think you've had a very rough year and a half. I don't think it's surprising that you're tired and down in the dumps, and I think it will take some further passage of time before you can regain your emotional equilibrium.
I'm glad to hear you're on antidepressants, but if they don't help pretty soon, I would go back to the doctor and try something else. There's an answer out there; you just need to have faith and keep looking.
Best wishes,
Mary

 

[Nancy]

Barbara-

In time, your pacemaker will just be something you never think about. It's new and another appliance in your body. Joe never thinks about it at all. You don't have to do anything to help it work. It just sits there in your body and is your little friend when you need it. It takes care of things automatically and it will help you.

I agree with Mary, if your current meds aren't doing the job for depression, there are so many others out there that might work for you.

Congratulations on cooking a big Thanksgiving dinner. That takes a lot of energy, for sure, and it sounds like you enjoyed it.

 

[marky]

Barbara
I got a defib. 2 years ago..and I still havent' adjusted to it
It is huge on my chest (larger than my breast) and bothers me terribly.
I would guess that I struggle with depression, but cannot take antidepressants..so I just try to keep myself going. I dont' say this to discourage you, but rather to let you know that you are not alone in your thinking

I think that everything you are feeling is pretty normal considering all the changes your body has gone through..
give it one full year..that is what I was told..one full year for the emotional, physical and mental healing to take place.

 

[geebee]

Barbara,

I don't have a pacemaker but I do have ups and down from a depression standpoint. I sometimes think of the line from the movie, "What if this is as good as it gets"? Then, on other days, I feel so good I good just burst. Most of the time I am just on an even keel and am happy to be alive.

I think meds are great if you need them because sometimes you just can't do it alone. If the depression is "seeping" through, look to having your meds changed because the options are many.

Fear is not uncommon. I was really scared last week and still worry that I might have some kind of infection as I am not quite back to normal for me. I think you will come out of this eventually as I will and our lives will become really good.

I wish you well and will add you to my prayers.