VP and his shotgun

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W

William

Hi Folks, There's some good ones here. Will
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TV Comedians Target Cheney Accident
Tuesday February 14 4:10 AM ET

Television talk shows took aim Monday at Vice President Dick Cheney's accidental weekend shooting in Texas of a hunting companion. Here are a few of the jokes.
___
"Late Show with David Letterman," CBS:
_ "Good news, ladies and gentlemen, we have finally located weapons of mass destruction: It's Dick Cheney."
_ "But here is the sad part before the trip Donald Rumsfeld had denied the guy's request for body armor."
_ "We can't get Bin Laden, but we nailed a 78-year-old attorney."
_ "The guy who got gunned down, he is a Republican lawyer and a big Republican donor and fortunately the buck shot was deflected by wads of laundered cash. So he's fine. He took a little in the wallet."
__
"The Tonight Show with Jay Leno," NBC:
_ "Although it is beautiful here in California, the weather back East has been atrocious. There was so much snow in Washington, D.C., Dick Cheney accidentally shot a fat guy thinking it was a polar bear.
_ "That's the big story over the weekend. ... Dick Cheney accidentally shot a fellow hunter, a 78-year-old lawyer. In fact, when people found out he shot a lawyer, his popularity is now at 92 percent."
_ "I think Cheney is starting to lose it. After he shot the guy he screamed, 'Anyone else want to call domestic wire tapping illegal?'"
_ "Dick Cheney is capitalizing on this for Valentine's Day. It's the new Dick Cheney cologne. It's called Duck!"
___
"The Daily Show with Jon Stewart," Comedy Central:
_ "Vice President Dick Cheney accidentally shot a man during a quail hunt ... making 78-year-old Harry Whittington the first person shot by a sitting veep since Alexander Hamilton. Hamilton, of course, (was) shot in a duel with Aaron Burr over issues of honor, integrity and political maneuvering. Whittington? Mistaken for a bird."
_ "Now, this story certainly has its humorous aspects. ... But it also raises a serious issue, one which I feel very strongly about. ... moms, dads, if you're watching right now, I can't emphasize this enough: Do not let your kids go on hunting trips with the vice president. I don't care what kind of lucrative contracts they're trying to land, or energy regulations they're trying to get lifted it's just not worth it."
___
"Late Late Show with Craig Ferguson," CBS:
_ "He is a lawyer and he got shot in the face. But he's a lawyer, he can use his other face. He'll be all right."
_ "You can understand why this lawyer fellow let his guard down, because if you're out hunting with a politician, you think, 'If I'm going to get it, it's going to be in the back.' "
_ "The big scandal apparently is that they didn't release the news for 18 hours. I don't think that's a scandal at all. I'm quite pleased about that. Finally there's a secret the vice president's office can keep."
"Apparently the reason they didn't release the information right away is they said we had to get the facts right. That's never stopped them in the past."
 
What!

What!

Ben Smith said:
Doesn't Dick get two points for actually shooting a lawyer ??????
Click to expand...

Only two points?:confused: He deserves 10!:D
Sorry Phyllis ;) :)
 
"Hamilton, of course, (was) shot in a duel with Aaron Burr"

My children are r elated to Burr - sigh. Such a legacy.

I fell out of my chair when CNN sent an instant 'alert' of incoming news. Then nothing else was incoming except that the Veep shot somebody! Like Janie, I chuckled - a lot. But now it gets serious. Poor old fellow was just strollin along and BAM. When we reach 70, we really ought not to play with guns and rifles - and maybe matches.

They keep steppin in it, don't they?
 
Crazy!

Crazy!

The press sure needs to back off on this one. Next thing you know they'll want to hold a press conference when he takes a dump! Who cares! Sorry that the man got hit,but why should it be national news? I say he was off the clock and it did not compromise national security. Do people in the media need a job this bad, that this becomes breaking news?

I agree though 10 points!

Heather
 
Time for Dick to enroll in a hunter safety course I do believe. Shot an attorney no less. Can't wait to see what this leads up to.
 
Hunting in Ohio

Hunting in Ohio

Ross said:
Time for Dick to enroll in a hunter safety course I do believe. Shot an attorney no less. Can't wait to see what this leads up to.
Click to expand...

Ross,
I'm not sure how hunters do it in your part of the state, but here in NW Ohio, anyone who comes up to reform the stalking line has the duty to let the other hunters know he is rejoining them. This is especially true if that person is coming up on the flank as was the case in this accident.
What is amazing to me iis how little the media seems to know about guns
and hunting. The average kid around here know more about these things, than most of the talking heads on TV. It is a different world out here and few in the media understand "fly-over land", but I guess I would be lost on a
New York subway!:D
 
RCB said:
anyone who comes up to reform the stalking line has the duty to let the other hunters know he is rejoining them. This is especially true if that person is coming up on the flank as was the case in this accident.
Click to expand...

My uncle is an avid quail hunter and this was his comment as well. You flush out a covey of quail and start shooting. Guns are not aimed very high, so it's important that you let people know where you are. You are also quite often hunting in brush and scrub filled areas, not open fields so that the approach of someone isn't always evident. Thus the need to let your group know where you are if you've separated from them. He also said "Better the lawyer got shot than the hunting dogs....those things are expensive!" Thank goodness they weren't deer hunting.

I love how the gun lobbyists are making this an issue. This was a hunting party not a street gang. Don't get me wrong, I think we need better gun control...but taking this incident and making it sound like we shouldn't even allow hunting??????
 
I just am tired of the big

I just am tired of the big

deal the Democrats and the liberals are making of this. It was a hunting accident - they happen all the time. I don't like hunting, but it is what it is.

My husband's coworker is a comedian also - Wayne is going to tour the White House on a business trip in late March. His coworker told him to remember to wear orange just in case Cheney is around that day. :D

Christina L
 
Ross said:
I must be sick, I find this whole thing quite humorous.
Click to expand...

I find it humorous too. So many lawyer jokes going around.

I heard a parody of Cheney's call to Bush to tell him of the incident - it was hysterical.
 
He's the vice president of the United States. He accidentally shot an old man and injured him. Don't you think he should let us know personally how sorry he is? Does he have to get his story SO straight that it hardly resembles the truth just to apologize and explain himself? Does the fact that he didn't have the proper liscense to be doing what he was doing prevent him from being honest with us? Even privelege comes with costs. Why won't he stand up to us?

I'm having trouble with the whole thing, but not so much the accident......more the abominable way the administration is handling yet another bogus incident.

Thanks for bundling those late night remarks for us! Makes it so easy to pass them along. :D

Marguerite
 
This is the equivalent of Gerry Ford falling down the steps of Air Force I (or repeatedly hitting people on the golf course); or of G. Bush I throwing up on the Japanese prime minister. It just makes the person who's done the tripping, puking or shooting a bit of a buffoon. And just like George and Gerry, Dick needs to laugh at himself and everyone will get over it.

It was an accident; and it's a slow news time. I don't think most people think this has anything to do with gun control, and except for the PETA people, this will fade away as soon as all the good jokes are taken (and they are funny jokes).
 
I guess I don't think

I guess I don't think

Cheney owes the country an apology for a personal matter. I'm sure he has apologized over and over to this man he accidentally shot and by the way, from what I gather from the accident, it was this old man's fault - he started to walk right in the line of fire.

Regarding the hunting license, supposedly that law just went into effect in Texas five months ago and a lot of people didn't know about it.

I don't know - it was an accident - a personal matter - I think it needs to be made fun of and nothing more, and then to let it go.

Christina L
 
It is a shame how every thing is being politicized these days. Of course the VP is sorry this happened, although it wasn't his fault. He certainly doesn't owe me an apology.

Finding humor in it is healthy and probably the best way to respond to it.

Wise
 
I agree - slow news day! The morning people on Fox were trying to describe how he got shot and it was actually very funny. Talking about how pellets fly through the air and how many will sit on a dime. Slow news day - filling time.

The VP doesn't owe the country an apology for this accident, just as Bush, Sr. didn't owe the country an apology for throwing up on the Japanese guy or Ford being the biggest klutz in the world. The only thing Dick did wrong was not buy the license. The lawyer was in the wrong, per established hunting rules (and I'm sure they teach lawyers in law school not to walk in front of guns too:D ).


Now, if Dickie did it on the White House lawn, that'd be a different story!
 
I think the majority of the country is taking this for what it is = an accident where the appropriate parties have already been apologized too, no one else deserves or requires one. I think the White House press is just having a collective hissy-fit because they weren't informed immediately.

And they did used to hunt on the grounds of the White House "way back when"!:)
 
What do you mean "must be"?

What do you mean "must be"?

Ross said:
I must be sick, I find this whole thing quite humorous.
Click to expand...

You are sick, you know you are, everyone knows it and that is exactly what it takes to lead this motley gang of crazies here and we love you for it!:D

Would anyone sane do your job?:eek:
 
Be Vewey Afwaid

Be Vewey Afwaid

I agree it was a accident and the press corps has thier collective noses out of joint.

Ross, yes it is hallarious!:eek:

Maybe Chaney ought to take the press hunting so they too understand....."BE VEWEY AFWAID" (Elmer Fudd)....

I hear there are spots opening for his next trip...Maybe Hillary would go!:D
 
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