RobThatsMe
Well-known member
> > > > > If you are from the northern states and planning on
> > > > > visiting or moving to the South, there are a few
> > > > > things you should know that will help you adapt to the
> > > > > difference in lifestyles:
> > > > >
> > > > > The North has sun-dried toe-mah-toes,
> > > > > The South has 'mater samiches.
> > > > >
> > > > > The North has coffee houses,
> > > > > The South has Waffle Houses.
> > > > >
> > > > > The North has dating services,
> > > > > The South has family reunions.
> > > > >
> > > > > The North has switchblade knives,
> > > > > The South has Lee Press-on Nails.
> > > > >
> > > > > The North has double last names,
> > > > > The South has double first names.
> > > > >
> > > > > The North has Ted Kennedy,
> > > > > The South has Jesse Helms.
> > > > >
> > > > > The North has an ambulance,
> > > > > The South has an amalance.
> > > > >
> > > > > The North has Indy car races,
> > > > > The South has stock car races.
> > > > >
> > > > > The North has Cream of Wheat,
> > > > > The South has grits.
> > > > >
> > > > > The North has green salads,
> > > > > The South has collard greens.
> > > > >
> > > > > The North has lobsters,
> > > > > The South has crawdads.
> > > > >
> > > > > The North has the rust belt,
> > > > > The South has the Bible Belt.
> > > > >
> > > > > If you run your car into a ditch, don't panic. Four
> > > > > men in a four-wheel drive pickup truck with a tow
> > > > > chain will be along shortly. Don't try to help them,
> > > > > just stay out of their way. This is what they live
> > > > > for.
> > > > >
> > > > > Don't be surprised to find movie rentals and bait in
> > > > > the same store.... Don't buy food at this store.
> > > > >
> > > > > Remember, "y'all" is singular, "all y'all" is plural,
> > > > > and "all y'all's" is plural possessive.
> > > > >
> > > > > Get used to hearing "You ain't from round here, are
> > > > > ya?"
> > > > >
> > > > > You may hear a Southerner say "Yawht!" to a dog or
> > > > > child. This is short for "Y'all ought not do that!"
> > > > > and is the equivalent of saying "No!"
> > > > >
> > > > > Don't be worried at not understanding what people are
> > > > > saying. They can't understand you either.
> > > > >
> > > > > The first Southern statement to creep into a
> > > > > transplanted Northerner's vocabulary is the adjective
> > > > > "big'ol," truck or "big'ol" boy. Most
> > > > > Northerners begin their Southern-influenced dialect
> > > > > this way. All of them are in denial about it.
> > > > >
> > > > > The proper pronunciation you learned in school is no
> > > > > longer proper.
> > > > >
> > > > > Be advised that "He needed killin" is a valid defense
> > > > > in a court of law here.
> > > > >
> > > > > If you hear a Southerner exclaim, "Hey, y'all, watch
> > > > > this," you should stay out of the way. These are
> > > > > likely to be the last words he'll ever say.
> > > > >
> > > > > If there is the prediction of the slightest chance of
> > > > > even the smallest accumulation of snow, your presence
> > > > > is required at the local grocery store. It doesn't
> > > > > matter whether you need anything or not. You just
> > > > > have to go there.
> > > > >
> > > > > When you come up on a person driving 15 mph down the
> > > > > middle of the road, remember that most folks around
> > > > > here learned to drive on a John Deere, and that is the
> > > > > proper speed and position for that vehicle.
> > > > >
> > > > > Do not be surprised to find that 10-year-olds own
> > > > > their own shotguns, they are proficient marksmen, and
> > > > > their mammas taught them how to aim.
> > > > >
> > > > > In the South, we have found that the best way to grow
> > > > > a lush green lawn is to pour gravel on it and call it
> > > > > a driveway.>
> > > > >
> > > > > AND REMEMBER:
> > > > >
> > > > > If you do settle in the South and bear children, don't
> > > > > think we will accept them as Southerners. After all,
> > > > > if the cat had kittens in the oven, we wouldn't call
> > > > > 'em biscuits.
> > > > >
> > > > > Have a good day! Send this to four people that ain't
> > > > > related to you, and I reckon your life will turn into
> > > > > a country music song 'fore you know it.
> > > > > visiting or moving to the South, there are a few
> > > > > things you should know that will help you adapt to the
> > > > > difference in lifestyles:
> > > > >
> > > > > The North has sun-dried toe-mah-toes,
> > > > > The South has 'mater samiches.
> > > > >
> > > > > The North has coffee houses,
> > > > > The South has Waffle Houses.
> > > > >
> > > > > The North has dating services,
> > > > > The South has family reunions.
> > > > >
> > > > > The North has switchblade knives,
> > > > > The South has Lee Press-on Nails.
> > > > >
> > > > > The North has double last names,
> > > > > The South has double first names.
> > > > >
> > > > > The North has Ted Kennedy,
> > > > > The South has Jesse Helms.
> > > > >
> > > > > The North has an ambulance,
> > > > > The South has an amalance.
> > > > >
> > > > > The North has Indy car races,
> > > > > The South has stock car races.
> > > > >
> > > > > The North has Cream of Wheat,
> > > > > The South has grits.
> > > > >
> > > > > The North has green salads,
> > > > > The South has collard greens.
> > > > >
> > > > > The North has lobsters,
> > > > > The South has crawdads.
> > > > >
> > > > > The North has the rust belt,
> > > > > The South has the Bible Belt.
> > > > >
> > > > > If you run your car into a ditch, don't panic. Four
> > > > > men in a four-wheel drive pickup truck with a tow
> > > > > chain will be along shortly. Don't try to help them,
> > > > > just stay out of their way. This is what they live
> > > > > for.
> > > > >
> > > > > Don't be surprised to find movie rentals and bait in
> > > > > the same store.... Don't buy food at this store.
> > > > >
> > > > > Remember, "y'all" is singular, "all y'all" is plural,
> > > > > and "all y'all's" is plural possessive.
> > > > >
> > > > > Get used to hearing "You ain't from round here, are
> > > > > ya?"
> > > > >
> > > > > You may hear a Southerner say "Yawht!" to a dog or
> > > > > child. This is short for "Y'all ought not do that!"
> > > > > and is the equivalent of saying "No!"
> > > > >
> > > > > Don't be worried at not understanding what people are
> > > > > saying. They can't understand you either.
> > > > >
> > > > > The first Southern statement to creep into a
> > > > > transplanted Northerner's vocabulary is the adjective
> > > > > "big'ol," truck or "big'ol" boy. Most
> > > > > Northerners begin their Southern-influenced dialect
> > > > > this way. All of them are in denial about it.
> > > > >
> > > > > The proper pronunciation you learned in school is no
> > > > > longer proper.
> > > > >
> > > > > Be advised that "He needed killin" is a valid defense
> > > > > in a court of law here.
> > > > >
> > > > > If you hear a Southerner exclaim, "Hey, y'all, watch
> > > > > this," you should stay out of the way. These are
> > > > > likely to be the last words he'll ever say.
> > > > >
> > > > > If there is the prediction of the slightest chance of
> > > > > even the smallest accumulation of snow, your presence
> > > > > is required at the local grocery store. It doesn't
> > > > > matter whether you need anything or not. You just
> > > > > have to go there.
> > > > >
> > > > > When you come up on a person driving 15 mph down the
> > > > > middle of the road, remember that most folks around
> > > > > here learned to drive on a John Deere, and that is the
> > > > > proper speed and position for that vehicle.
> > > > >
> > > > > Do not be surprised to find that 10-year-olds own
> > > > > their own shotguns, they are proficient marksmen, and
> > > > > their mammas taught them how to aim.
> > > > >
> > > > > In the South, we have found that the best way to grow
> > > > > a lush green lawn is to pour gravel on it and call it
> > > > > a driveway.>
> > > > >
> > > > > AND REMEMBER:
> > > > >
> > > > > If you do settle in the South and bear children, don't
> > > > > think we will accept them as Southerners. After all,
> > > > > if the cat had kittens in the oven, we wouldn't call
> > > > > 'em biscuits.
> > > > >
> > > > > Have a good day! Send this to four people that ain't
> > > > > related to you, and I reckon your life will turn into
> > > > > a country music song 'fore you know it.
