John
John
I don't have a very large circle of friends, but my "social" recovery, as you refer to it has been an interesting one. I work as a middle manager in Internet Operations for a very large corporation, and all of my coworkers have been very supportive. What I have noticed, is a tendency for some to "look out" for me, always offering me advice ("Should you be eating that? Are you allowed to drink coffee?"). I recognize it as well intended, but I would like to be able to go more than an hour without someone trying to "help." My managers (I have a different one now than I did at surgery) have been fantastic, letting me set the level at which I wanted to share my health concerns with them. But others do seem to feel the need to look out for me and possibly "shield" me.
Secondary effects are showing up too. I have two mechanical valves, and while I post quite frequently that *I* don't hear them that much, I'm finding that others do hear them once in a while. In most work settings it hasn't been a problem, but I'm becoming more self-conscious about it as time goes by, not less. In an awkward moment of silence in a meeting, I've had a couple of people lean over to me and whisper "I can hear your heart!" It has effected my behavior in that I now often show up early for a meeting, trying to pick a chair where no one will sit on my left side (they only seem to hear it from the left). How's that for weird? LOL.
Like you, I have pondered my choice of careers, and whether the continued stress of my current job is worth it. Yes, I could find something less stressful, but not with the current insurance and other benefits I currently enjoy. But it does cross my mind much more often since my surgery. I'm in my mid-forties, I've survived cancer surgery, radiation therapy, and nearly cashed in my chips with open heart surgery. I hope the many many many years I have left are "less complicated."
My friends and family (and the people here) have been supportive and understanding without exception. They know when to leave the topic alone, but are willing to listen when I do let down the guard.
