One more week......

[jwinter]

With a week from today coming fast (never thought I would say that) I had my first meltdown. I keep trying to do deep breaths and take myself to a more relaxed state but I just couldn't today.
I have made all the arrangements. My adult children are combining a Minnesota Wild game and some other vacationing things before surgery so I feel better about them leaving their jobs to sit with me.
I am a mature adult woman (60 but not old)--have had this surgery before while on life support so this time should be cake---have not checked Dr. Google for mortality rate (but want to) and am just beside myself. And to top it off...........I feel like I don't want anyone seeing me looking all bad after surgery. What a day.
Tell me this is some kind of normal?

 

[Paleowoman]

I think the fact that you've been through this not that long ago must make this surgery extra anxiety provoking. And not wanting anyone seeing you looking bad after surgery - I remember others writing that before I had surgery ! No one wants to look a mess. Have you packed yourself a small case with things that you like, for example nice pjs for when you can wear them ? Do let your GP know if the anxiety is too much. Thinking of you {{{hugs}}}

 

[honeybunny]

I agree with Anne regarding the anxiety being due to your previous surgery. I'm glad the kiddos will be with you. Not quite the same as a significant other, but comforting. Sending positive energy your way~

 

[jwinter]

Thank you friends. Today is a new day and feel better. Funny how it comes in waves and when you least expect it?! By next week at this time I should be up and walking the halls........

 

[AnnaK]

I'm not yet where you are, but I can imagine it must be scary indeed! This waiting can be hellish....sounds like you're in a pretty good place today- hang on to that vision of walking the halls . Good wishes & vibes sent your way!

 

[ottagal]

This is so normal.
Be good to yourself and keep you eye on the prize. Set a nice goal for yourself as to what you will be doing AFTER you are recovered. Before you know it, it will be all in the rearview mirror.
Wishing you the best.

 

[epstns]

This is so normal.

Says it all in one short sentence.

All of these "life-changing" diagnoses are "E-Ticket" rides on the roller coaster of anxiety for some of us. Be comforted in the fact that you are not alone in this.

I never did like roller-coasters. . .

 

[jwinter]

Thank you everyone and I really appreciate your empathy (and sympathy) in dealing with this. I still think that going through this the second time I should have a better "grip".
Reading the words about it being normal to feel this really helps. Well I have everything packed and will be leaving tomorrow for a two day drive. I have a small, but mighty, support system and am thankful for that. I am going to try some meditating and affirmations........and then probably cry, Enough whining for now, soon to be replaced with a nice glass of wine
Thanks again and will update when I can.

 

[AZ Don]

For me the anticipation was one of the worst parts. Soon you will be on the other side, again, and can focus on recovery and letting your kids dote on you for a little while. Best wishes.

 

[Superbob]

jwinter -- sorry I am late picking up on this -- not sure if you are about to have the surgery, or are just out of it -- Either way, I am sending you my very vest thoughts, wishes, and prayers!