Ok, I need your help!

[SHEEPDOG]

Here,s the reality. I am now 11 days POST-OP and I have SO much STUFF (trying to be G rated here) going on and I don't know how long I should be expecting it to last. Perhaps some who have been there could help.
1. I am at times SUCH an emotional wreck it is scary. Not all the time! just occasionally. I have posted in response to others questions about mood swings, crying at songs, getting pissy for minor stuff, etc. I guess I can say there's a bit of depression mixed in. The reason for the depression will be clear below.
2. People say I look good. I say BULL&%$(. I look at myself in the mirror and I look bloated, my arms look skinny, I am loosing weight because I can't eat anything and have it taste 1/2 way normal. I can't walk around TARGET without feeling like i'm 80 years old, (not that there's anything wrong with 80 but I am 43 and was in pretty decent shape)
3. Food! I MISS IT!!! I can understand the Hospital food not being edible but it takes a MIGHTY effort to choke down ANYTHING. I can't drink anything but water, I can't eat cereal, SUGAR is my drug of choice and I can't eat cake, candy, etc. This is why I am loosing weight!. I called the Pharmacy and asked about the Darvocet being a cause. He said that none of my meds (except the COUMADIN in rare instances) have taste disruption as a side effect. WHAT IF I AM A RARE INCIDENT???
4. WEAK is NOT something I have ever been. Perhaps not SUPERMAN but NOT like this. As you know, I have been a POLICE officer for 3 years, CORRECTIONS officer for 10 years, moved furniture, etc for many years before that. NOW i go up my steps in the house and I am winded. I go on what I consider EXTREMELY short walks with only slight hills and I feel like I did some REAL work. Heck, I got up last night to check if my wife let the dog in and I actually forgot about my condition until I really woke up. I was WASTED. A trip to the backyard yesterday had me panting when I came back in. My MIND knows the severity of what I had done but the rest of me can't BELIEVE how HARD this hit.

This sounds PETTY I know. I don't know if I am expecting TOO much at 11 days or is this STANDARD. I have never had anything THIS drastic done medically. Mood swings and all, Is that PAR for the course? The FOOD thing REALLY has me down. I know I need to eat and I want to eat but YUCK!

Could you all do what you do best and help me with your own experiences. I know in my head that this is all temporary but if I could narrow the time frame down it would be easier to take. I know that others here have MUCH worse stuff going on and I thank the LORD that I am even alive to have these problems. I just want to be NORMAL again and it is out of my CONTROL. COPS ARE ALWAYS IN CONTROL! or at least working like hell to get there!

ANY HELP WOULD BE APPRECIATED.
THANX

 

[marie]

I have a very close friend who is a cop and believe me she has to be in control too. LOL

Give it time you are only 11 days out. Yes people told me how good I looked too and I wondered if they thought I didn't own a mirror.

I couldn't get out of bed by myself at 11 days and food tasted like cardboard.
I really didn't lose much weight and my hunger level right now is off the charts. I am having a hard time with food control.

Depression is normal as well. As far as I can tell everything you're experiencing is the nor. Just give it time and I know that's easier said than done.

I'll be thinking of you
Earline

 

[geebee]

Unfortunately this is one of those times when you are not in control and you have to be patients.

All this is normal at 11 days. It sounds to me like you might be trying to do too much too fast.

Talk to your doctor about this and the food issue. He might be able to give you some advice on supplements.

 

[CThrock]

What your going through is pretty normal. Just try to relax, your only 11 days out. Your going to have good days and bad days, bad days will be farther apart the more days your body has a chance to heal. If you think of all the things your body has just went through(SHOCK) you'll understand where its coming from.
Try to think positive and set some small goals for yourself. I could only walk a little at a time each day. Maybe your doing to much.
I tried different foods that sounds good to me. I had alot of sandwiches and bean burros with cheese for about a week or more. Nothing else sounded good. Just try to keep your strength up.
Hope you feel better soon. Keep us posted.
You'll be in my prayers for a continued good recovery.

 

[zipper2]

Sheepdog,
I recall 16 years ago as clear as a bell in my 3 bed unit
i was the only female (2MEN) with me,and in my memory
i recall the men had a difficult time and was very hard
for them to get themselves out of this depression.
I went through it too it's normal and it will go away.
It feels like the whole thing was a mistake you feel like
WHY DID I DO THIS? it's like a phase and weve all been
there ,done this and we understand what your going through.
Being a police officer and losing your strenght and power being post
11 days surgery only you are doing well,it just doesn't feel like it
right this minute,it gets better honest it does and food well think it
took months for me to get proper taste buds back.It all takes time
it won't take long for you look back at this and say,i went through
this and it's funny how it brings you down but doesn't last.
The medical staff prepared me well for this and i went down with
a big depression and my husband recalls it better than i do
cause he watched me go through it.and of course i deny any
of it or remembering this point and time at least to him

My thoughts and prayers and good vibes go out to you
This shall pass too,hang in there others will be along also
to brighten your day

zipper2

 

[Jeeb1]

I can relate to everything you have said--unfortunately it is all normal. After both of my surgeries I lost a great deal of weight due to my inability to eat. My stomach was a mess and I didn't want food, probably due to my depression. I am 45 and the loss of control was devastating to me both times. It will get better. I just kept telling myself that a week from now it would be better, and then a week more, etc. If the depression seems like it is taking hold too tightly, ask your doctor for something. I took Zoloft for a couple months after and that helped. Take care--
Tiffany

 

[Dina]

I am 42 , will be 43 this year and understand. It's like...'but I had this
surgery to be better!!' And you will be , just not overnight.
On day 11 I was still in the hospital with pericardial effusion, so you are
ahead of me already and it's amazing how one day soon you walk up those
stairs and belatedly realize that it was easy.
Wishing you a smooth recovery--Dina

 

[Jkm7]

Everything you write is so in the 'to be expected range' that it's common.

I'm a walker and have walked for years. When I came home from my second OHS, I barely could walk four minutes. That really bummed me. By the time I was three weeks post op, I was walking 2+ miles in winter in New England.


Give it time.
If the depression doesn't lift, as for some help. Cardios almost expect to hear about us being depressed. It is very, very common with heart surgery. For almost all, it is temporary and fleeting. Don't let it get the better of you. If you need the help, ask for it.

Food...... I never suffered the loss of taste buds some report. Almost everyone says it's only a matter of time until food starts to be appealing again.

You're doing fine......everything you write about just needs time.

Hope things get easier for you.

 

[MNmom]

Hello, I am nearing the 7 week post op mark and believe me, I look back on what I had done and the way I was when I came home and I was a mess. I am a control person myself, which was the worst part of my recovery, and continues to be a challenge of mine. My first INR check I cried. It was two days after getting home and it was like i had a PTSD episode or something. I have said many times that it has been more of a mental recovery than a physical one. When I say it continues to be, that is because I am still struggling with the idea that I cant just hit the gym at full speed like I used to - I am ready to quit cardiac rehab because it is going too slow- the irony- that is exactly why I am there.
It does get better every day, just keep that in mind. The food may be a control thing too- that is the only thing you can control right now- dont be too hard on yourself- it too shall pass. When my aunt was at my house i didnt want her to make my plate- I needed to control my own servings- thats all I had left!
Hope that helps- everything you described is absolutely normal- unfortunately. But the good news is it will get better

 

[gerrys]

Sheepdog:
Keep the faith. You're having normal reactions to an extremely traumatic event. I'm 13 weeks post and was extremely active before surgery. I saw muscle mass shrink. I saw low energy immediately following surgery. Lack of taste is something, however, I did not experience.
My advice is to keep positive, try some energy drinks to boost your electrolytes, and keep high on proteins and carbs, at least for now to keep your energy level up. Remember, something has to fuel your body for more exercise. Define a walking regimen and keep to it, building more into it every few days. Make your plan ambitious, but reasonable. If you stumble a little, modify the plan some. If you start to feel that the plan isn't challenging enough, raise the bar. You'll do well, be patient.

 

[ruthienc1]

Sheepdog- My doctor told me not to look at things comparing one day to the day before it, but rather to look at things in larger segments (like a week). Then, he assured me, I would really notice changes for the better. 11 days isn't very long at all......... I'm thinking that since you were so fit to begin with that you'll start to snap back sooner than this 65-year-old nana! It's been 2 months and life is good........

 

[Cooker]

Dude....it's all normal at eleven days out....try and chill out and let your body heal....your mind will follow.

 

[Nancy]

"This sounds PETTY I know. I don't know if I am expecting TOO much at 11 days or is this STANDARD"

I helped my husband recover from many thoracic surgeries. What you have posted is about normal for recovery from this surgery.

It takes most people 6-8 weeks to start to feel human again. Of course during that period of time you will feel better each week, but there will be periods of time when you will backslide and lose some gains.

The appetite thing takes a little time, but you will have your appetite back again.

As far as seeing muscles atrophy, yes that happens. And Joe was upset about this too, since he was a very athletic man, in terrific shape. I posted about it many years ago and one member told me that while this happens, your muscles have a memory and will get back in shape fast once you start to feel well enough to exercise again. And that did happen.

Joe was a weak as a kitten too, and that bothered him a lot. But he got better and better.

Your body wants to heal, and it will. But Rome wasn't built in a day, and your body needs time to heal.

At this point, eat whatever tastes good to you. Your body also needs lots of calories to heal properly, someone once said about 5000 per day during recovery. I know you don't feel like it, but do your best.

Sometimes it is a good idea to make a log book and write in it each day about what progress you made that day (or didn't make). This helps to see that you are getting better and gives you a much more positive attitude about it all.

This surgery is very tough. It just wipes you out. But you will get better, I promise. Don't be too hard on yourself.

 

[Lisa in Katy]

Unfortunately, I never had the loss of appetite thing! I could have used that one for a few weeks! You say you can't have sugar, etc. Is that because you don't want it or because someone told you not to eat it? I say eat whatever sounds good. I lived for my walks to the snack machine in the hospital to buy a Diet Coke and a candy bar!

You sound very normal. We all know that men are not very good patients and it is because they have very little patience for the weakness thing. I expect that cops are worse. Walk when you feel like it. Sleep when you feel like it. Pretty soon you will notice that you feel like walking more often than sleeping.

One of the reasons that people tell you that you look good is because the outside world expects people who just had heart surgery to look gray and half dead. Fluid retention makes your face look chubby, which equates to healthy in our world. I remember when I had RF and had lost 25 pounds, so was down around 75 at 5'3". When they put me on Prednisone I got the moonface and pink cheeks that go with it and people told me how healthy I looked. It didn't matter that I was severely underweight!

Just remember those four words that are true for all situations, whether good or bad - "This too shall pass."

 

[Rich]

Everything you are experiencing sounds compltely normal.
My appetite was down to nothing for several weeks. I lost 18 pounds and believe me I am one who couldn't afford weight loss. But it all returned to normal.
I would guess your frustration is due to not being in control. You don't want to admit something was wrong with you. It will pass I promise.
Sometimes family and friends can be a little too nicey, nicey and it can make you feel like you are being babied. They all mean well and again it will all come back to normal in no time.
Just hang in there with a little more patience.
Rich

 

[SHEEPDOG]

I love you guys!!!!

I love you guys!!!!

This thread hasn't been up for an hour and I already have a TON of replies.
As I said, I KNOW this is to be expected to some degree, but head knowledge isn't the same as acceptance.
The depression thing is only on the edge and I WILL keep it in check and get help if I can't. I have a beautiful 6 year old son and a wonderful wife who has put up with me for 18 years (anniversary was 5 days POST) so I WON'T let that get away from me.
I guess I don't know where to start with the exercise.I know what to do but I don't know what the starting point should be. From what I read above, I guess I am NORMAL. I ALWAYS start out TOO hard. When I start back at the GYM after an extended time away, I am sore for the first SEVERAL days. I don't do SLOW. This is gonna be different. I know I ill start seeing VAST improvements soon but being patient doesn't come easy.
I haven't taken the darvocet since early this AM. I guess I really don't need it as I don't feel much different. (except NOT being tired) I will take ie if I need but I guess I was just taking it because I had it. If I can control any discomfort (that's all it is now) with Tylenol, I will!
I knew I could count on you all to give me guidance. I also KNOW how fortunate I am to ONLY have these FEW problems. I also know it will pass in time. Until I get there, I will be trying to get these POSTS out despite the PUMPHEAD. ( trying to write "smart" for example but coming up with (ska-op=))

 

[SHEEPDOG]

Sugar

Sugar

I would LOVE to eat sugar. It is just NOT tasting right. 1/2 my tongue tastes nasty and the other tastes BLAH. Now, I would eat anything that tastes good, healthy or not. I'll keep trying.

 

[Nancy]

Remember the lifting restrictions when you start exercising. Do not lift anything heavy at all until your surgeon says you can.

You don't need your sternum not healing properly.

 

[Nancy]

A lot of folks have found popsicles tasty, although they don't have a lot of calories, but it is a start.

 

[ponygirlmom]

1. I am at times SUCH an emotional wreck it is scary. Not all the time! just occasionally.

Yes, yes, and yes! I didn't even check to see what others have written, but I'll bet they say yes, too. At eleven days out movies were SO SAD!!! So were sit-coms. So was my husband being slightly disappointed that my brother was late with dinner. So was.... well, you get the picture. Whatever you do, DON'T watch anything in which any character cries for any reason, or you'll be doing it, too.

2. People say I look good. I say BULL&%$(. I look at myself in the mirror and I look bloated, my arms look skinny, I am loosing weight because I can't eat anything and have it taste 1/2 way normal.

Those people are relieved that you don't look as bad as they feared. For example, my brother assumed that a week after surgery I would be bedridden and croaking out pleas for pain meds. (Obviously he hadn't read up on OHS.)

And about your looks -- I'll get flamed for this, but I'm totally there with you! You think YOU got it bad? Imagine if you were a chick! But it'll be okay. That fluid will drain away and you won't be lumpy anymore. As for the skinny arms, I guess the best thing you can do is try not to look at them until your sternum heals and you can do something about it. That's what I do!

I can't walk around TARGET without feeling like i'm 80 years old, (not that there's anything wrong with 80 but I am 43 and was in pretty decent shape)

Okay, you seem to be a fellow healthy person, so here's my advice: STAY OUT OF TARGET. And similar stores and supermarkets and any place filled with ambient chemical vapors. You know you only have so many good exercise minutes, so spend them in a healthy environment. Walk outdoors, even if you have to get up at 5am. Which I do, because I live in Arizona and it's JULY. Does your local community center have an indoor track? So many of them do.

3. Food! I MISS IT!!! I can understand the Hospital food not being edible but it takes a MIGHTY effort to choke down ANYTHING. I can't drink anything but water

Okay, not to get all Pollyanna on you, but this is your opportunity to have the healthy diet of your life! If everything tastes like sawdust, it may as well be healthy sawdust, right? Water is the healthiest drink! And think of all the foods at which you can turn up your nose! Fried chicken? Nah! Potato chips? Forget it! Chocolate cake? Who needs it? By the time you are able to really exercise again, you're body will be totally high-protein, high-fiber, low-fat, low-salt and sweating vitamins!

4. I go on what I consider EXTREMELY short walks with only slight hills and I feel like I did some REAL work. Heck, I got up last night to check if my wife let the dog in and I actually forgot about my condition until I really woke up. I was WASTED. A trip to the backyard yesterday had me panting when I came back in.

TOTALLY normal, and I'm saying this as an active athletic person. And yes, I get totally bummed just like you when I read a post by someone who is as far out as I am and says they are cooking and doing laundry and driving and milking the cows and cutting firewood and God knows what else and I wonder, what's wrong with ME? Then my husband reminds me that maybe they aren't cutting firewood -- I'm imagining that -- they're just cooking dinner and maybe they're just microwaving a frozen dinner, and anyway, maybe they were tired all the time before surgery so they don't know the difference.

The FOOD thing REALLY has me down. I know I need to eat and I want to eat but YUCK!

Seriously, you do NOT need to eat. I will bet you, hmmmm.... I don't know, a box of gauze, that your body will miraculously allow you to eat enough so you don't faint. You are barely exercising, so all you need is a minimum of nutrients to keep you healing properly. You're a tough guy -- I think you can take on a chicken leg and win!

I just want to be NORMAL again and it is out of my CONTROL. COPS ARE ALWAYS IN CONTROL! or at least working like hell to get there!

Oh, boy! Can my husband adopt you? Because he's already writing rehab weight routines for me and my sternum won't heal until OCTOBER. Write yourself up a breathing/stretching/walking exercise plan and get a pedometer and heart-rate monitor to go with it.

Then remember: normal life can be BORING. That's why people look forward to VACATION. Think of OHS as a really bad vacation. What do you want to do? What kinds of things of the couch-potato kind can't you do because you're working? DO THEM!