Alone while your spouse has OHS, advisable?

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Leighanne

How important do you think it is to have family wait with you while your spouse has OHS, mine will last at least 6 hours. My in laws are the only ones here and need to be in Maine while my husband is in Boston with me, it this a bad idea?
Leighanne, PVR with TV ring and Full MAZE this tues May 11 at Childrens Boston
 
I actually would have preferred to be alone, or with my daughters. Too many people chatted incessantly and told funny stories, when I just wanted to be quiet. It's a very tense time.
 
There will be other family members in waiting room while thier loved ones are having surgery..He will have plenty of company..to chat with, ect.. :) :) Tell him to take some light reading magazines, ect..Good luck..Bonnie
 
Unless HE feels he needs the support, then he should be alright. There will be others in the waiting room that he can support and they will support him right back.
 
Hi Leighanne -

My husband, sons, and in-laws all stayed in the waiting room. One son lives with us, one son flew out from New York, and my in-laws drove out from Colorado. I know my husband was glad to have all of them there and I was really glad to know they were there too. There were some other family members who wanted to come too but my husband and I felt like they'd be more work than support so we strongly discouraged them. I hope I'm wording that delicately enough.

One other thing, though, was that the pre-op people told my husband that he could go get breakfast after they took me away but that he must be back to the surgical waiting room in two hours. We had read previously that the surgery would probably take 4-8 hours, but my husband thought that maybe mine wouldn't take so long, because he had those instructions to return at two hours. So they all came back to the waiting room at the two hour mark and when nobody came to talk to them, they began to worry. The surgery ended up taking 6 1/2 hours and by that time, they were near panic.

Best wishes to you, ~Susan
 
Our hospital has individual waiting rooms for OHS patients - no common one. That being the case, my husband was glad my daughter showed up for some of the time b/c it was a long wait - 8.5 hrs. Further, they want you in there the entire time the patient is on bypass.

So I guess it depends on the set-up where you're going to have surgery.

As Nancy says, have him take tums, and immodium, because it's quite stressful.
 
My wife waited through my almost-a-Ross-procedure with my parents, my sister, and my aunt and uncle (my aunt's a nurse and my uncle's a former cardiologist). My wife said she had planned to read during most of the wait, but my mother wouldn't stop chatting (my mom's like that). Everyone else was trying to read or do something else as well, so they kept exchanging knowing looks with each other each time my mom would start up again. My wife also said having my aunt and uncle there was a big help because they could fill in details and/or translate medical jargon.

Personally, I would leave most of the decision up to your husband. He'll know who he's comfortable waiting with (or without). He may want to have someone on "stand by", at least by telephone, if he's decided to wait alone, but finds out he's too lonely.
 
It is completely up to your husband whether he needs support or not.

My parents insisted on coming up and waiting with my wife, even though we really didn't want them to. We thought they would be too stressed out and add stress to my wife when she didn't need it. She's independent and strong and thought she didn't need anyone.

She was glad my parents were there, and it wasn't as bad as we thought. However, my wife's brother showed up after an hour or so, totally unexpected, and spent the rest of the day with her. She told me later that she was SO glad he was there and that was one of the nicest things he ever did for her. She really did need to have someone there, after all.

Like I said, it just depends. Tell your husband it's going to be a LONG wait - he should bring something to read or do; and feel free to go out to eat, etc. He can just give his cell phone or pager number to the nurses, and they will call him if there is an emergency or any news. Some hospitals even check pagers out to family members waiting for long surgeries so that they don't have to be imprisoned in the waiting room.
 
When my father-in-law had his heart overhauled in December 1989, both his sons and I were there. In addition: minister from his church 70 miles away, my parents and a friend from our Sunday school class whose father had undergone OHS several times.
When I had surgery last summer, my husband was joined by my parents, my two sisters and husband of one, 1 niece, 1 nephew and three friends. John said he appreciated all who came.
 
When I had my valve replacement last year, the SARS crisis was going on. The hospital had to institute a no visitor policy. Absolutely no one came in the hospital except for patients and hospital employees. So, there was no one worrying in the waiting room about me. In retrospect, this was the best thing for my husband. He had no choice but to do other things while waiting to hear from the doctor. I think he probably went into work that day.
 
My husband Brent was alone during my surgery (4 1/2 hrs.) and preferred it that way. The minister from our church was there briefly before surgery to visit and pray with me and then left. After that Brent said he "just used his time wisely".....he took a nap!! :rolleyes:
 
Right on, Tom! :D

There isn't any problem in my life that a nap won't cure....
 
Thanks

Thanks

Tom
I am trying to let God take over my stress but the pass the pasta part? Are you sure he meant for us to eat all these refined grains, i.e. white foods? (no offense, did not know if you realized I do have a sense of humor and am not all about the drama)
Leighanne
Thanks for the tips. My husband had a kidney transplant 17 years ago and was usually hospitalized every year (till he worked outside) for the flu-- that is the protocol where he had surgery, temp101=admit and he sat right in the O R for my c section (he was green though) He says he will be fine. We are planning down to the dates a trip next Feb to Disney World so we both have something to live and hope for that we can enjoy with our son. we will get a special pass since Ethan has autism and always go to front of line, not a bad thing to plan for. And now when I think of it, there are not many family members that would truely be a comfort source, my sister loves to talk on and on about "her sex in the city" my dad is more nervous than me, my mom has alzheimers, dales mom is always nervous but yet the rock of the family and Dales brother never even calls so maybe dale is right that he will be O.K.

Thanks again, as they would say up her...............YOU ROCK
LEIGHANNE
 
Post-surgery goals are helpful. =)

When I went in I had a goal, to make a friend's wedding. My surgery was scheduled for March 12th, 2003. It actually started a day later, March 13th but I didn't get "out" until the 14th. I spent a ridiculous amount of time in the hospital (my story is "atypical" of the norm in here so don't get worried!) and wanted an even better goal for myself while I was recovering.

I put my fiance on the spot one night over the phone and told her I wanted to get married in August!!!


She talked me back into September, said August was too soon...


I was still on HEAVY medication.

We married September 14th, 2003, six months after I kicked Death in the shin and told him I wasn't finished yet. :D
 
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