the whole article deserves to be in here. I think the word 'dead' is no longer politically correct. I loved the article:
Mike Bailey :: printer friendly » email article »
Different ways to say it from the heart
August 10, 2008Recommend (2)
Nobody dies anymore.
If you don't believe me, read the obituary page in any newspaper.
People go to glory, go to their reward, meet their maker, take their place in Heaven, are called home, pass, pass away, go to our Lord and Savior, move to the next life or expire. Like old milk, I guess.
Modifying the language to modify the perception of the condition is an art form in this country, another blessed gift from the political correct movement.
As Jack Nicholson warned, we apparently can't handle the truth.
And so obituaries reflect our aversion to reality. As carbon-based life forms, there is no empirical evidence nor feasible scenario in which any part of us could survive after death. Yet we are convinced that on the other side lies our reward, where we will be reunited with our loved ones in eternal bliss. Therefore, we don't really "die," we move to the next life or take our place in Heaven or go to our everlasting sleep. Much more comforting.
We don't handle death well. During the Middle Ages, death was a blessed release from what for most was unending misery. When the time came to shuffle off the mortal coil, as Shakespeare put it, people laid down and died without much fanfare or effort to stave off death for another few days.
But no more. We want to live forever and we don't care what it costs, particularly if we are not paying for it.
And so, like we call handicapped people "differently abled" to modify the condition, we refer to death as "crossing Jordan."
Descriptive language is perfectly all right, but let's expand the list of euphemisms for death a little. "Assumed room temperature," "Went to the Big Nowhere," "Fell off the twig," "Bought the farm," "Caught the Midnight Express" or "Shed the container" come to mind.
Or maybe the deceased is "Taking a dirt nap," "Pushing up daisies," "Off the count," or "On the wrong side of the grass."
For those in the Green movement, the deceased "Went into the fertilizer business."
Maybe Grandpa "Moved into the pine condo" or "Has affixed the frozen smile."
My personal favorite from author James Lee Burke: "Moved to permanent deep shade."
The Internet is full of evocative euphemisms for death. If the late one was a sports enthusiast, try one of these:
? Won one for the Reaper.
? Married OJ.
? Traded to the Angels.
? Got some SkyBox tickets.
? On the unable to breathe list.
? Riding the perma-pine.
? Tailgating with Jesus.
? Taking a congratulatory phone call from President Taft.
? Jockeying for position in the dirt derby.
? Went to see the fat lady in concert.
? Created an opening on shuffleboard court three.
For the politically correct, "Is living challenged" or "Heeded the ultimate product recall."
For gourmets, the loved one was "Promoted to Subterranean Truffle Inspector" or "bastes the formaldehyde turkey".
For we journalists:
? Made the big deadline.
? Taking minutes for the Maker.
? Endured the final edit.
? Got the eternal offsite assignment.
? Used very, very passive voice.
? Was reformatted.
Or, for me personally, "Still better than Public Relations."
