My Dad's home

[Pamela8]

got the ok from the dr. he and my brother arrived back around 4:00pm.

My Dad got out of the car, I was waiting at his house. He looks like he aged 10 years. I didn't know what to expect. I just held him and cried.

My brother and i put in his air conditioner, its supposed to be in the 90's for many days starting tommorow or Saturday.

While we were putting it in my Dad trying to help, my brother had to keep telling him to sit down, we could do it.

After my brother left I stayed for an hour, just wasn't my Dad. I know he must have been very tired from the flight and everything, but it was like he wasn't all there, hard to explain.

he said he would be fine alone tonight. I am taking him for groceries Saturday. I picked up some things for tommorow for him and my brother and his family had taken him to dinner on the way home.

Pam

 

[KathyM]

Pam,

I am 52 and in good shape. It is now 8 weeks and believe me as great as I did right from the begining it is still hard. You just do not feel like yourself for awhile. I really think it is all of the meds, the heart and lung machine and etc. I was told it is a tough surgery on the body. The heart is really agitated that they messed with it. So give him time and lots of TLC. I think it was 3 weeks before I felt like the fog had lifted. Like I said I am a lot younger than your Dad.

xoxo
Just
KathyM

 

[CThrock]

Pam,
Give your dad some time to settle in. He probally feels out of place and nervous.
You guys just keep up the good work you are doing. Your dad had been though so much, probally even more then you realize. I will keep all of you in my prayers, keep us posted...
God Bless!!

 

[Susan BAV]

Glad to hear your dad is home safe and sound, Pam! What a relief for everyone in your family. OHS is a tough row to hoe and it can take quite awhile to recover physically and emotionally and otherwise.

A few things to consider: I was told to not push or pull or lift over five pounds for eight weeks and I was also told not to drive a vehicle for eight weeks. My surgeon also wanted me to use a large pillow to protect my chest in any vehicles for eight weeks--he was primarily worried about an airbag damaging his excellent work. I had a lot of trouble concentrating for a few weeks post-op also, and I was more emotional and had some depressed thoughts. Keeping track of all the pills I had to take and when to take them was quite an ordeal for me also.

Your dad actually sounds like he's a real trooper, especially considering all he's been through! I'm so glad you posted this update. And I'm so happy you have your dad back. Keep giving him lots of hugs. Mine's gone. And another member here just lost her dear dad also. I'm so glad you still have yours.

 

[Pamela8]

Thanks

I know hes been through so much, he did say the "care" at the rehab set him back in his therapy.

When he sees his cardiologist next week I'm sure he will set up outpatient rehab here.

My brother did say while in Florida with him he wasn't watching his diet, so I'm gonna try and get him to eat well.

He just finished his steroids the other day, maybe that had an effect on how he seems also?

I was talking to my Mom after (they've been divorced for many years) and she said probably part of how he is feeling is that he used to do everything on his own and feels funny relying on others for help. I'm going to talk to him about that because I know how he feels when I'm having a flare with my MS.

I'm going to tell him that everyone needs help now and then.

Pam

 

[Nancy]

Pam-

I am so happy your dad is home. I have taken care of my husband through many thoracic surgeries, and I can tell you that this surgery knocks the starch out of the strongest man or woman. It will take a good 6 months before you see your old dad re-emerge.

That is not to say that he won't make progress, he will a little every day, but getting back to where you were before takes a long time. The surgery is hard on the whole system.

In addition, the anesthesia and pain meds and drugs like Ativan have a lasting effect even though the half life is scientifically short.

Your dad has been through a very stressful situation, and that was compounded by a terrible experience in the "rehab" facility which apparently set him back.

Plus, many people who have had heart surgery develop depression for a while. It is apparently a combo if emotional stress AND physical stress. For many it goes away after a time, but some will need medication to get over it.

This is a very well-known phenomena documented here many, many times.

For all of these reasons, heart surgery patients need expert and constant care for at least a couple of weeks after this surgery. They just are not "with it".

This is one of the reasons that it is not a good idea to go back to work right away, or to drive, or do things that require sharp cognitive skills.

It will get better.

But for now, just go with the flow, don't let your dad see that you are disappointed in his recovery. Keep encouraging him and he will get there eventually.

 

[Bina]

Pam, that is FANTASTIC news!
Your Dad has been through so much, hopefully he can get some rest now.

 

[WayneGM]

Glad to hear he is home. Be patient. Recovery takes time and patience. Best wishes to both of you.

 

[Ross]

Nancy pretty much covered what I would say. Considering all that he's been through, I'm sure depression is part of it and it's going to take time to work through it all. Work with him hon. He will get better over time.

 

[Pamela8]

Called my DAd before I left my daughters, he forgot he didn't have her phone number, he asked me to pick up chinese food, he ordered it. When I take him to the market tommorrow going to try and get him to pick out some healthier meals.

told him I would do his laundry tomorow also and he thinks he can do it himself but its in his cellar and I told him to wait to see the cardiologist to see what he can and can't do for now.

he said his tv went out and I unplugged it and waited and plugged it back in, didn't try it first and the problem was he had it on channel one which is just snowy. I didn't tell him that just told him by unplugging it it resets the TV.

Talked to my brother when I got home told him i was so concerned and upset about Dads emotional state, and like you all have mentioned he said it will take time. Also he is on alot of lasix, and hopefully will be reduced at his appt next week.

When i went to get the chinese food, its a route I am not familiar with, had a major panic attack, thought i would go off the road. Made me realize even if I did make it to Florida by plane or train, would not have been able todrive him to his appts and other places as its super highways getting there. Now I feel less guilt and will just try to do all I can for him here.

I can't tell you what your support has meant to me over these weeks.

Pam

 

[Nancy]

No, no he cannot lift wet laundry yet. His sternum is still healing He has a VERY low lifting limit. Do not let him do anything foolish. If the sternum doesn't heal right, it will be a problem forever.

Also-- Chinese food is the absolute worst food for him if he is trying to get rid of fluid and is on Lasix. One Chinese meal will put on a lot of fluid weight. It is WAY too salty.

 

[Pamela8]

Nancy,
I'll tell him about the Chinese food. I did mention to him about getting some Healthy Choice frozen dinners and he said "they have alot of sodium"

Going to do a google search right now for low salt meals.

My brother said Dad expects to drive soon, but we both know he is in no shape to. When he sees his cardiologist I know this will be brought up. Think it will be more than the 6 week point he was told before surgery.

Pam