Panic!

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kfay

kfay

Well-known member
Joined
Dec 4, 2007
Messages
1,906
Location
North Carolina
I know this is going to sound really silly but I was just sitting here watching mindless tv when I realized that I am going to be leaving exactly 1 month from today to go to the Mayo Clinic for my surgery. It made me panic! I know that everyone always says that the waiting is the hardest part, however, once I decided my date would be in April it was quiet easy to say to everyone "Oh, my surgery is in 3 months, or 2 months, etc..." But now I feel I am down to the real countdown. Just the other day I was saying to my husband did he ever have second thoughts about me doing this? I mean I look and feel totally normal. Other than the odd rhythm things now and then (which I have had my whole life and they are neither worse or better) nothing is going on. I know I shouldn't second guess this decision and I'm not going to (our plane tickets are already paid for), but it's hard to go put myself through this when nothing has changed. Have any of you felt this way? Anyway, all of my initial panic had subsided and I had mostly gained back all of the weight I lost due to nerves, but when I had that realization I got that familiar pit back in my stomach. So it's a xanax for me tonight (haven't taken one in 6 weeks). We leave for a nice 12 day vacation next Friday then back home for the final push before we leave.

Kim
 
Kim :

Panic is normal ! I am 6 months and 1 day out from having AVR, I was a basket case - cleaned every cupboard in the house the week before I went in, just "busy" work.

I had no symtoms, like you, but a lot of the aches that I didn't think were symptoms, as well as "the sweats" (I am 52 and thought of them as hot flashes) and the dizzy spells have all gone away.

I know, you've heard it a thousand times before, but here it is for the thousand and oneth time - the thought is worse than the deed!

Look after yourself, enjoy the holiday and I am sure you will do just fine - and take something to help you sleep and / or relax, if you need it, worrying is not good !
 
Don't Worry

Don't Worry

I had my surgery at the mayo clinic in october and they were absolutely fabulous. I deeply appreciate all of their help, support, and professionalism. The nurses were absolutely wonderful. Relax. The fear is a lot worse than the actual thing. I can't believe that I had the surgery. There was a young man (my age) who was on his fifth open heart surgery. He took it better than I did. He was reclinning in his chair watching t.v. and I couldn't believe it. Here's to a wonderful outcome:D !
 
You will have those occasional bouts of nerves leading up to the date, that's normal for everyone. In my case I was so busy at work that I did not have too much time to dwell on it; keeping your mine occupied is the key.

If the doctors felt it was time to schedule the surgery and you agreed when you set the date, than it's probably time. I waited about 3 months too long before I went in. My valve went bad quickly those last 3 months and I was stressing out that I had waited too long.
 
surgery

surgery

hi kim,
if you dont have any symptoms, are you sure that it needs done. if it does what else can you do. like isis i always worry about waiting when you shouldnt, and it scares the heck of of me. i never know what is the right thing to do but we are working on it. i guess a person wants to wait as long as they can and then you just have to go. have you done all the research that you could to make sure that is what you need to do. and have all of the doctors agreed, if so than it is probibly for the best. good luck prayers are with you.
alpha 1
 
Kim, panic is normal. Try to put it out of your mind and enjoy the vacation to the hilt and then we will help you over the mountain when you return. You are going to a top rated hospital and you are in good condition-I just know that all will be fine and I pray that a feeling of calm will ensue when you get nearer the date.
 
I certainly felt the same cold thrill that you describe, in those unguarded moments before OHS. I've always found it astounding that we somehow get up one morning, get dressed, and intentionally walk into a hospital to have this done. It defies all natural instinct.

But we do it. And we know we need to do it.

A vacation sounds like a beautiful way to get through this time. However, there should be no expectations laid upon it or you. Just enjoy it for what it is.

Best wishes,
 
Yep, periodic panic is normal as the reality of it all sinks in. That said, interestingly enough as I got down to the last few days pre-op and actually calmed down. My wife said she was surprised at how calm I was the day I went in for the surgery. She seemed more nervous than me.

Keeping busy really helped me. I even got into my son's computer games to pass the time. They actually helped release some of the stress. Hang in there. I found the wait harder than the surgery itself. When it was over, and I was on the other side of the mountain, it was such a relief!!! It only gets better from there. Best wishes.
 
Hi Kim,

Just think in a month and a couple of days you will be fixed. Shortly afterward you will be healed and taking on the world. Lots of prayers for a smooth surgery and speedy recover.:)
 
Panic is normal. I was a basket case and the people here helped me through that. I took Praline's advice and listened to some relaxation tapes. That helped me. I like to read so that helped too. Sometimes I had to go back and read stuff again. It was hard to concentrate. Some experience a calm before the surgery. Certainly a vacation is going to help. Easier said than done but try to relax.
Earline
 
Not so bad...

Not so bad...

I'd say that the panic is normal (like everyone else has said). It's not a settling feeling knowing that you are going in for OHS in a month. I really didn't 'panic' until right before they took me back. I had a peace about the whole situation because I knew that I needed the surgery at some point. I knew that it would make me better. I, too, didn't have any symptoms. I'm 33 years old and very active (lift weights, run, bike, hike, etc). I was asked by some friends if I thought that I really needed the surgery since I didn't have any symptoms. I told them that I did because 3 surgeons told me that I did. They know better than I do. Now that I'm almost 4 weeks post op, I have realized that this whole experience has not been that bad. When you wake up from surgery, you have plenty of pain medication to keep you out of pain. All you really have to do to recover is rest and follow the doc's instructions. I tend to blow things off and have a positive outlook on things, and honestly, even I had played up the surgery to be much worse than it actually was (at least in my case). Honestly, the hardest part has been not being able to pick my 2 month old daughter up because she weighs more than 10 lbs.

Personally, I feel that the outcome and the recovery will go as well as the attitude that you take into the surgery. I was ready to get the surgery over with and start my recovery...and that's what I did.

All this said to say...keep a positive outlook on the whole experience and you will do wonderfully! Now, go enjoy that wonderful vacation (I'm envious!) and just try to relax.

Take care and God Bless!
 
Bouts of panic are all too common because the waiting period is the hardest!
I waited for 8 months prior to my first OHS back in '75. It was torturous!

Like others have mentioned, try to keep busy; cook some dishes ahead of time & put in the freezer so that when you get home, you can just defrost & reheat things making it a lot easier for you. In the meantime, keep that positive outlook & try to make the most of your vacation.

Best wishes to you & you'll be in my prayers!:)
 
Recommend that you try to relax as much as possible. My hospital provided me with Guided Imagery CDs that I found to be great stress relievers. You can find free ones online by searching for Guided Imagery in Google or on You Tube. Or you can order them online from various sites. You might want to take a portable CD player to the hospital with you, or see if the hospital has one you could borrow while you're there. I found that playing the Guided Imagery CDs helped me a great deal in dealing with the stress of the whole ordeal. There are also nature sound CDs that I find relaxing (my favorite is sea shore sounds).

Step back, take a deep breath, and relax. The alternative to getting the surgery is a short lifespan. So even though the prospect of the surgery is ugly, the surgery is a good thing and is necessary for you to move on with your life.

Good luck and best wishes for a successful surgery and recovery!
 
I felt the same way when i had to put my son through the surgery, even more so when he had complications after surgery and he had no symptoms before he went in. Although we havn't got a date yet we have to do it all again and he just looks like any normal 10 year old, happy and full of energy. So yes it is normal to panic and i can also say that the waiting is very very hard to do. Sending you my very best wishes, it will soon be over and you will soon be on the road to recovery. I know i will be a nervous wreck, once we have a date, i may even arange him a party to take my mind off things. So take care and everybody is here for you.
 
I'll "second" DTread's suggestion about using audio therapy. For me, it was one of the main things I resorted to. I used relaxation-music CDs (that I transferred to a tiny MP3 player) right up to the point where the anesthesia took effect! I also got a lot of help from the positive and supportive folks here are vr.com. Hang in there... I think everyone will tell you that once you're over the mountain you'll look back and see that the waiting was indeed a very tough challenge and in some ways more challenging than the post-surgery recovery phase.

Best of luck with your upcoming surgery!

Steve C.
 
Thanks everyone for your support. I actually received an envelope full of those relaxation cd's from my surgeon but I haven't listened to them yet although my husband has! I didn't think they would do any good. But since several of you have said they helped you I will give them a try. Most days I am actually pretty good, it was just the realization the other night that the "real" countdown has now begun.

Kim
 
Panic is normal, you'll do fine. I panicked (and this sounds really silly) when I bought a bottle of milk that expired (gasp!) after my surgery date. THATS when I knew it was coming soon! :eek:

I wish you all the best in your surgery and recovery. Welcome to the forum!

Ruth
 
Sigh. Breathe. Love life.

Sigh. Breathe. Love life.

we are in constant motion, and going through what we go through makes you realize it. so take this blessing and live with it, taste each and every moment dearly. that's what i tried to do, and of course i worried greatly, it's only human. just give in to it. the panic will go away. YOU WILL BE FINE.

just keep those words close to you.

i've been there, and i'm a better man today because of it.

t:D
 
KFay

KFay

I had my surgery almost 9 years ago in Mayo, I received absolutely the best facilities, nursing care and surgeons in the world. I can never say enough about the Mayo Clinic. I only had a 3 days to think about my surgery, after an xray they found I had a 5.5 aneursym on my Aorta, my local cardiologist told me they couldnt do a thing for me which brought me to my knees, but in his second breath he told me he knew who could repair my problems, and that was the Mayo Clinic. I would be happy to email you if you have any questions or concerns, just relax, and let the skill hands of your surgeon help you. They always told me you want to go to a facility that does the operations on a regular basis and Mayo Clinic does daily! I have been back twice just for a check up, no problems other then now I also have a pacemaker to keep in check.
 
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