Aortic valve replacement after effects

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Note to Tony-

Just because they tell you that it will take 6-8 weeks doesn't mean that each day won't get a little better for you. It will be a gradual thing, so just keep on hanging in there and the cloud will lift a little more each day and you will see things differently.
 
I remember the depression period well, if not fondly. I had OHS in July and I wasn't too bad off after 6 or 8 weeks, but by November I really got down. I was physically well enough that I was able to run a mile or walk up to 3 miles at a clip by then. We took a week of vacation to W. Palm Beach in late November but I was absolutely miserable the whole time. I could not enjoy anything about it. The worst vacation I ever had. You can imagine how much my wife enjoyed the trip as a result.

I don't remember how long it took to regain my composure, maybe another month. I don't recall being in a funk at Christmas time. It was a gradual climb back out of a fog, but things got better as I realized my life was back on track. What he needs most is your patience and understanding.
 
Update!

Update!

Oh, if I could remember all of your names as well as I remember reading your messages of support, suggestions and comfort.

Today's meeting with the cardiologist was fruitful. He literally danced around the room in pleasure as he examined my husband. His weight, BP, lungs, breathing, heartbeat all under good control. When he looked at the Blood Glucose Testing Chart which I track daily he commented it looked like he is still diabetic.(Husband was not diabetic before the operation.)

He was very pleased the catheter has been removed successfully. Bladder spasms grabbed him shortly after the operation and things went downhill before he was discharged. I am so grateful that my career training prepared me for this journey but it did not prepare me for panic at midnight for the person I do not want to live without....I shall NEVER, NEVER give up. The doctor asked me if I am an Accountant. I answered "No".

His surgeons told me today all I have to do is say the word and they'll open doors for a therapy workup based on my recommendation. They have not examined him for that specific reason. I am comforted by their position but that is something I'd like my husband to realize, if possible, on his own. Time will tell.

Thank you, all.

Gene
 
Gina and Tony

Gina and Tony

Welcome both of you! You've already heard from some of the great folks here. I too was depressed after OHS. I was overwhelmed with feelings that were very hard for me to deal with. I did have some professional help, and in time came out of it. Regular exercise, and interacting with friends and family really helped too. Gina, You say your husband is very active, can you be more specific? Do you really mean that he's very active now? Or did you mean pre surgery? Exercise and activity should help. Does he engage in conversation with anyone? He is lucky to have such a devoted partner! Tony, I'm sorry you are having such a tough time. It sounds like you have a lot to deal with! That's never easy, and when you feel so bad it is much harder. Do try to take it one day at a time. Hang in there, and start some threads with your own questions, and or feelings.This is a wonderful group and resource. It can be a real help. All the best, Brian
 
Thank you, Rachel. Your message is very reassuring especially this week. Another procedure, unrelated to his heart, is scheduled for the 19th and I am ready.
 
BDMc said:
Welcome both of you! You've already heard from some of the great folks here. I too was depressed after OHS. I was overwhelmed with feelings that were very hard for me to deal with. I did have some professional help, and in time came out of it. Regular exercise, and interacting with friends and family really helped too. Gina, You say your husband is very active, can you be more specific? Do you really mean that he's very active now? Or did you mean pre surgery? Exercise and activity should help. Does he engage in conversation with anyone? He is lucky to have such a devoted partner! Tony, I'm sorry you are having such a tough time. It sounds like you have a lot to deal with! That's never easy, and when you feel so bad it is much harder. Do try to take it one day at a time. Hang in there, and start some threads with your own questions, and or feelings.This is a wonderful group and resource. It can be a real help. All the best, Brian
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Thank you, Brian. My husband was very active pre-surgery - never sat down - always busy. He met his goal to retire at age 56 and enjoyed everything. After bypass surgery in 1992 he was back up and going in no time. Perhaps I overlooked signals as I, too, was busy with my career and our family.
Since his valve surgery though, he is not as active but still focused strongly on matters of great importance. He just isn't initiating conversation with anyone and I find myself reminding our immediate family that it takes time. We all want him back desperately and I am counselling our four adult daughters, some of our grandchildren almost on a daily basis.
 
Gene I wish I had the magic answer. Don't take this the wrong way, but to know what he's feeling and experiencing, you'd of had to go through it yourself. It's really unsettling for some. First off, you don't feel like your old self. You feel as though you left that person behind and have taken on a new identity. Couple that with the God awful dreams that some of us have had, and it really makes one wonder what the meaning of it all is and some struggle forever trying to find that meaning.
 
Something else I should have mentioned before. Joe stopped doing a lot of talking when his voice became very weak. It turned out that his vocal cords just were not meeting the way they should, and his voice became high pitched and breathy, hard to understand. This was from so many intubations. He was embarrassed about it, especially on the phone, when he was mistaken for a woman too many times.

I told him to just tell people that he had vocal cord damage and it was hard for him to talk.

It was just too uncomfortable to force words out, required a lot of effort and lung power he didn't have.

The solution would have been throat surgery, but he couldn't have that. The next best thing was voice exercises.

Does your husband have any trouble speaking when he does?
 
Ross said:
Gene I wish I had the magic answer. Don't take this the wrong way, but to know what he's feeling and experiencing, you'd of had to go through it yourself. It's really unsettling for some. First off, you don't feel like your old self. You feel as though you left that person behind and have taken on a new identity. Couple that with the God awful dreams that some of us have had, and it really makes one wonder what the meaning of it all is and some struggle forever trying to find that meaning.
Click to expand...

Ross, I am so glad to have him I can wait forever. I try to rewind information I've accessed, read, heard, experienced, etc. if I feel I am missing something. My daily log which started out as a simple tracking system in 1992 is now a rich resource of daily vitals, past and present treatment plans designed by specialists in specific fields of medicine and changes for the man I know and the one I am getting to know. It's good to come to this Forum to talk about it.


Nancy there were many complications, breathing was one, and it's possible that could be the root cause. When he does speak it's his normal tone.

Thank you all and please don't think I am uneasy about his recovery. I am not. Taking full responsibility for a smooth-running life together while he was/is in recovery is not without unexpected turns. I knew I could do it but I did not know it would be such a lonely time in my life. As you say, Nancy, I will never, never give up!
 
You're doing all the right things, Gene. And you sound like me. Many medical people have told me that Joe lived longer because I was such an advocate for him, and took the time to learn everything about his medical condition I could possibly stuff into my brain.

I was able to talk to his doctors on their level for the last several years of his life, and that was so, so important.

Not much slipped by me.
 
Gene
I wonder what would happen if he had a sit down with another person who has had double heart surgeries. Honestly I think the words would pour out of him. Look at it like he is coming back from a war. PTSS is not unusual in cases of surgeries as in war veterans. Check to see if there is a Mended Hearts program or any heart surgery support program where people can talk to others and share.
Kathleen
 
Kathleen said:
Gene
I wonder what would happen if he had a sit down with another person who has had double heart surgeries. Honestly I think the words would pour out of him. Look at it like he is coming back from a war. PTSS is not unusual in cases of surgeries as in war veterans. Check to see if there is a Mended Hearts program or any heart surgery support program where people can talk to others and share.
Kathleen
Click to expand...

I will do that Kathleen and then my task will be convincing him to participate. After a urological procedure Sept.19th I will continue on a path of patient support for whatever he is inclined to do. There is a wonderful support group at the hospital where the surgery was performed.
 
Gene,

After my AVR it took me a good year for the fog to clear from my head. Almost at 2008, having my surgery in 2002 I find myself remembering childhood memories that I thought were lost after surgery. It seemed like 1st grade though high school was a distant memory. In time I was able to read books without getting dizzy, started exercising to keep my enthusiasm up, and lived through some frustrations of short-term memory loss. I can't honestly say I'm better than before I had my surgery, but I feel just as well, it's just taken some time to work out the physiological and psychological kinks.

Best thing that worked for me, was to have everyone stop hovering over me like I was some failed child actor in need of a mother. The faster his life gets back to the way it was, the better his moods will become. I was spending my time trying to put the surgery behind me and move forward, and everyone around me was fussing so much it felt like I was reliving it over and over again.
 
...."Best thing that worked for me, was to have everyone stop hovering over me like I was some failed child actor in need of a mother. The faster his life gets back to the way it was, the better his moods will become. I was spending my time trying to put the surgery behind me and move forward, and everyone around me was fussing so much it felt like I was reliving it over and over again."

Such an astute observation, Ambience. Trouble is he has never encouraged hovering even before the surgery and not now either. Maybe that's why I wonder so much. I never considered he might be reliving it over and over. I am taking your words to heart and thinking about them. Thank you for stopping by.
 
If he was anything like me, he'll be reliving all his fears all the jitters, and the muddled memories in some form or other for a long time. The only way I was really able to shake that, was to put it all down in writing in a few different formats. We're all different, so I don't know if this applies to him at all, but I found myself staring off in a cold sweat when I remembered the nurses wheeling me into the OR, and then I'd feel dumb that I was a wuss and scared in the first place, then I'd get hit with another fear of whether or not my valve would fail and I'd find myself back there again.

Facing ones own mortality halfway naked with hair shaved in places no razor should ever go, is pretty humiliating and traumatizing. It is especially hard if you are afraid to share your experience, because you don't want others to validate your fears. I remember breaking down and crying on the hospital phone to my girlfriend when the curtains of the anesthetics started to lift. I broke down when I finally uttered the words "I'm OK" to her, saying it made it feel real, and to release all those emotions felt like a guilty pleasure.

I made it through most of my time posting in forums about my recovery. Unfortunately I didn't find this place for a couple of years after surgery, but I wish I had known about it. Might have made things a little better knowing there were people out there just like me. Sorry, I'm rambling here. Give it time and try to be patient, it's not just the person who goes through the surgery that suffers. Family have a hard time of it, trying to act like everything is ok and put on a brave face. I knew my family was just as worried about my recovery as me, and you have just as tough a job. Hang in there, and keep an eye on his improvement. If it seems like he's getting worse, it's ok to act on that as well, just try to do your best not to smother him in the process ;)
 
Ambience?

Ambience?

Thank you. Your words are reassuring. I will try to recognize things I should not do and still monitor his recovery correctly. I wish you continued success in living life to its fullest.
 
Dreams

Dreams

I had horrendous dreams of death, not neccessarily my own, either. They would cause me to go through a period of mourning every time I had one. I suppose this would be a symptom of depression brought on through the whole process of OHS and physically dying. Only time and the joy I discovered in awaking from each one of these dreams allowed me to move into the life that still awaited me once I put my feet on the floor every day.

I'm sure your husband will recover, Gene, but don't let him go too long without offering help. Sometimes, the woodcutter is too close to the trees to see the forest. It's true here, too.
 
pamela said:
I had horrendous dreams of death, not neccessarily my own, either. They would cause me to go through a period of mourning every time I had one. I suppose this would be a symptom of depression brought on through the whole process of OHS and physically dying. Only time and the joy I discovered in awaking from each one of these dreams allowed me to move into the life that still awaited me once I put my feet on the floor every day.

I'm sure your husband will recover, Gene, but don't let him go too long without offering help. Sometimes, the woodcutter is too close to the trees to see the forest. It's true here, too.
Click to expand...

Thank you, Pamela for sharing your experiences. Woodcutter is a very good descriptioo and I shall remember it. Now, you go and have a good day!!! I will try.:eek:
 
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