Why?

[hensylee]

I feel that forgiveness, in some cases, is bigger than we (I) am. And so it must be turned over to my God to take that cross to bear for me. There it is and will remain until judgment day.

In the case of the 'shooter', he was deranged. I believe forgiveness does not enter into this case because he had no sane clue of what he was doing. He was a non-person and had become a monster.

 

[Marguerite53]

I, too am avoiding thinking about the killer so that he gets no glory from me.

We are so desensitized as a society. My mother asked me if my kids (all in college) were upset. I said, not beyond the normal saddness everyone is feeling. Why should they be? When they were in high school there was Columbine and the Kip Kinkel horror (and that just 2 hours down I-5). It's happening. It's anywhere, anytime.

This morning some radio jock was playing some cleverly modified farce of the Beach Boys, Ba-ba-ba.....ba-Barbara Ann. It was bomb bomb bomb...bomb bomb Iran. I walked out in disgust.

I poured my coffee thinking, wow....could I just go move somewhere where there aren't ANY guns? Where is that place? Shouldn't there be a place like that?

Marguerite

 

[geebee]

The concern I have about turning this tragedy into a campaign for gun control is that this is not really about guns. It is about a sick individual who found a way to gather victims into his dementia. It is no more useful, in a case like this, to outlaw guns than it would be to outlaw planes after 9/11. People will find a way to glorify themselves no matter what the weapon. The challenge must be to find a way to recognize and provide help to such troubled individuals before they have the chance to harm. In addition, giving air time to such a sick individual (as the news media has done) only aids in these types of actions continuing.

Please don't take my comments as a challenge to a gun control debate. That is not my intention.

 

[Cooker]

Using this reasoning, then the focus will gradually shift to the killer's family, and the people who were around him and perhaps recognized that the potential was there for him to react in this manner. If you can't forgive him, can you forgive the others?


How do you reconcile our Christian beliefs, that Jesus suffered unbearable agony to bring forgiveness to all of us, but then say you can't forgive? Where does the blame end? How long does it continue?

Mary,

I am not sure what you a getting at. I never said I said I could not forgive him. I said I was not going to spend any thought time on him. The ones who loved him are suffering too. Maybe I don't understand what you are saying. If someone killed someone I love I don't know if I could forgive them. I like to think in time I could but I don't know. What I do know is that I try to do the best I can with this type of situation as does everyone.

Jesus was great man and I believe he was also God which gives Him the upper hand in the forgivness business.

Tom

 

[Mary]

Sorry, Tom.
I was focusing on this part of your statement, ". . . or take up one minute of my time that may be used to help, love or care for someone in need."
I view his family as being part of the large group of people who would need love and care through this time also.

When the news first broke, my thoughts were with the victims of the shooting. But quite honestly, when I first saw his picture on tv, my first thought was, "oh, you poor boy." Then I thought, "I'm so sorry."

I suppose I feel a measure of guilt that this happened. I think he must have been a remarkably unhappy boy before he went over the line where he would kill. And I suppose my guilt is a collective one where I wish someone/anyone could have helped him before it happened.

 

[Dennis S]

Something that helped me.

Something that helped me.

In my isolated home I can listen to music as loud as my equipment will play it. For others, there are headphones--There is a choral piece titled, I believe, "What is man that Thou art mindful of him?" Sweet tears flowed out as courage, hope & faith in something that cannot be taken away flowed in. If you don't have the music, you can probably get it in a few minutes from itunes, or someother place.

Perhaps the biggest mystery of all--- What is man that Thou art mindful of us? I have decided that is the only answer I really have to have today. And I feel that I have been given that answer.

 

[catwoman]

Perhaps there will be a new interest in "When Bad Things Happen To Good People," by Rabbi Harold Kushner.

 

[Karlynn]

Mary, I think of his family too and pray for them. I had heard that his parents are terribly distraught.

From what I've heard and read, people did try to help. But there is only so much that can be done. I heard an excellent commentator a few days ago say that many of the things that people are saying should have been done would have violated his civil rights, HIPPA and what not.

I know when my kids entered college we got a big lecture from both universities about what they would NOT be able to tell us if we called. Basically, they couldn't tell us anything if our child was over 18. Grades, mental and physical health information and just about everything else was beyond the scope of what we were allowed to know. Both universities said that if our children wanted us to know they would tell us. Our hands were tied, the universities hands were tied. I have to believe that this is also the reason that this young man was basically beyond what most of us would consider logical help.

My oldest and dearest friend's brother was schizophrenic. He was a violent schizophrenic. As typical of this disease, it manifested in young adulthood. His parents had no control over what kind of help and attention he received. He didn't kill anyone, but he did some horrible things to my friend's animals, pushed their 6'5" father through a plate glass window and many other things I won't meantion. He was continually checking himself in and out of mental health facilities. He finally took his own life on Christmas many years ago. The family had thought he was doing well on the latest meds. Her father's comment was that his final act was most likely the most sane thing he'd done in years. Not that they were glad of it, they just knew that the boy they knew probably would have a hard time living with the things he had done and was continually feeling compelled to do. I knew him prior to the onset of his illness and after. It was two completely different people.

So I have a hard time feeling hate for this young man. I dont' know what his mind held. And it appears no one really did. But I also have a very hard time with the media concentrating on him and guessing at what could have damaged him. From what I've heard they seem to be heading in the direction of assuming it had to be something done to him. They want to place ultimate blame on someone/s and I fear they won't stop until a lot of people are dragged into the mud.

I wish they would spend the time allowing the friends and family of those killed the opportunity to tell their stories if they want and leave the experts to look to reasons of the killer in privacy. All the speculation does no one any good.

 

[hensylee]

I know those parents will be faced with the forgiveness question at some point and they will be so confused about it. Murder of a very, very close family is something you just can't get your mind around. It's so big it doesn't fit in your mind. You can't figure it out. You go to the scene in your mind. The loss of that dear person is with you every day, unbidden - just there. It's like you have lost a part of your physical self. You feel guilty sometimes because the 'what if I could have done something' is often there - and the why not me instead. Many, many directions when there is a murder. These things happen to me even now, 3 years after my sister's senseless murder. I expect they will always be with these families, too - including the murderer's family. I have great sympathy for them all.

How each one of them deals with the forgiveness answer depends, I guess, on their own personalities and beliefs.