Depression is a copout...?

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A friend of mine has been diagnosed with depression. However, he has chosen not to seek treatment (which would include a medical leave from work and daily therapist sessions) because he feels it is a "copout" FOR HIM. He does not feel, however, that those diagnosed with depression (and seeing treatment) are "copouts" ... just him. In fact, he says he realizes that others need that "push" to turn things around and doesn't think badly about or begrudge anyone who chooses that route. However, for himself, he feels that he shouldn't need help to "get happy" again ... and doesn't want the "stigma" of having depression.

I don't agree with him. First, many people are diagnosed with depression, so the idea of a "stigma" to it doesn't carry much weight, imho. Second, three people I know have been treated and/or are being treated for depression. None of these cases, from my view, are "copouts".

Yet, my friend's comments made me wonder how many others think that taking treatment for depression is a "copout", especially if it involves a medical leave from work. So, what say you?



Cort, "Mr MC" / "Mr Road Trip", 32swm/pig valve/pacemaker
MC:family.IL.guide.future = http://www.chevyasylum.com/cort/
chdQB = http://www.chevyasylum.com/cort/quilt.html
"I will not make the same mistakes that you did" ... Kelly Clarkson ... 'Because Of You'
 
I've been on Prozac since it was first introduced about 18 years ago. My Drs. have all stated that my condition is completely a chemical imbalance in my brain. I don't feel any different taking the meds. In fact being on meds. brings back your true personality, and without it life is a fog. I used to always think that I should be "strong" enough to stop the meds. and feel better on my own. My Dr. said I should think of it the same as being a diabetic needing insulin. Nobody considers that a stigma, and this is a medical condition that requires treatment.

I feel that being on Prozac gave me my life back. There's no shame in it, it's also nothing to proud of. It just is what it is. Hope your friend gets some help.
 
Been there and done that. Your buddy needs to pull thee head out of thee shorts and realize that he's NEVER going to feel better without treatment. Once your locked into depression, you simply go down hill at an ever increasing rate. Soon, he won't have to worry about taking time off. He'll be fired for lack of productivity or something else because his head isn't in the game.

It's as if your life is on eternal hold when your stuck on depression. You can't move forward, you can't function, you just exist. That's why with all my latest news about my health, I try like mad to not to get too stuck on it and enjoy whatever time I may have left. Hopefully, they are wrong again and I'll be around for a long time to come.
 
Cort:

Women seem to seek help for depression more often than men. However, men DO suffer from depression. Depression affects job performance, interpersonal relationships, quality of life, health, etc., etc.
Seeking treatment is not a cop-out. Declining to seek treatment **is** when depression has been diagnosed and treatment plans outlined.
Many things can bring it on -- OHS, health changes, divorce, marriage, being a victim of crime, biochemical imbalances, etc.

Don't understand why your friend thinks he's extraordinary and doesn't need (re: DESERVE) help.

I lost a favorite uncle about 12 years ago to depression.
 
My Mom suffered from depression the last 5 or so years of her life. It was very hard on our relationship. It was one of those things where she just felt that if my sister and I would pay more attention to her, she'd be all better. The problem was there was never enough attention paid to her in her opinion. Don't get me wrong, she was a great Mom and the world's best grandma. When I told my cardiologist that I was under a lot of stress because we felt my Mom was suffering from depression and wouldn't do anything about it, his comment was "That's such a shame because there's so much good medicine out there that could help her out a lot."

I think we are starting to get past the stigma of mental illness being "all in your head" - thank God! I have a very good friend who suffers from depression when she is not medicated. She stopped taking it one time and I could tell because she got very angry with me over a silly silly thing. I just asked "Are you taking your meds?" She said "No, I can't afford them." I told her I'd come get her to fill her Rx and I'd pay for it. She said no, it wasn't necessary. I asked her what she'd do if I told her I couldn't afford my Coumadin and I stopped taking it. She said she'd pay for it. I told her there was no difference. I needed my meds to live and so did she. The lightbulb went on for her and she said "Expect a call from me in a week or so, apologizing for being such an @$$."
 
denial???

denial???

Hey knightfan2691,
Sounds like your friend has major denial.....hope he figures it out before anything bad happens. At least he has a good friend like you who realizes it !!
 
Appreciate all of your replies.

To see and talk to him, you wouldn't know he has been diagnosed with depression. I think that is part of what is holding him back from seeking treatment, but I'm not sure.

We'll see what happens.... Frankly, he wanted to talk more about Rt 66 and that Meadowdale Intl Raceway (and other such fascinating places) more than his diagnosed depression....
 
Not surprising, since he's in denial anyway. One of the signs that Drs. look for in a depression diagnosis, is the patient who comes in a little "too happy", laughs a lot, but generally won't make eye contact - basically overcompensating for what's really going on. Most depressed people aren't sitting in a corner crying since it manifests itself in so many different ways (anger, somatic illness, over/under eating, sleeping , insommnia, alcohol/drug abuse). You're on rocky ground since you could lose a friend by wanting to help him. Maybe you could casually suggest that he goes in for just one session to sort of "test it out, see what it's all about, quit anytime he wants."
Hopefully a good therapist will be able to get those defenses broken down a little.

It's hard trying to help a friend and still BE a friend. He's lucky to have you on his side.
 
Hello:

I am also a very firm believer that most, if not all, people would benefit from seeing a therapist at certain time in their lives. Almost 6 years ago, I had the opportunity to see a therapist to help with an issue I was having with a relative, that was very serious. One sentence......just one, and that one sentence made everything very clear to me. I could not see the trees, for the forest, and he made it all clear. Saved the relationship, in less than an hour. I would think, that if a person were suffering from depression, that they would run, not walk, to see someone who could help. A combination of medication and therapy could make the difference in a person's life. And, one must remember that one of the side effects of depression is suicide. If it were my friend, I would ask him if he was thinking about suicide. If the answer is yes, then I would help him to get help.

Perhaps you could offer to go to the first therapy session with him?

Mb
 
Peg & MB ... thanks for your additional responses ... I appreciate them as well.

We'll see how it progresses from here. I know he isn't suicidal (he told me), so I'm not worried about that. And, actually, right now, I'm not worried much at all, oddly enough. Perhaps that's because subconsiously I'm keeping an eye out anyway ;).

Thanks again, all.
 
He he he ... leave it to Ann to write it succinctly and directly ;).

*sighs*

I'm beginning to wish I hadn't started this thread ... because as I've researched and read the posts ... some of what I've learned describes me, too :(.
 
knightfan2691 said:
I'm beginning to wish I hadn't started this thread ... because as I've researched and read the posts ... some of what I've learned describes me, too :(.
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Strange. Reading this thread and your other, yes it does. :)
 
Cort - It's good to be observant of your own "symptoms". Maybe added up they say "depression" and maybe not. I know that I am more aware of these types of things because of my Mom. Depression can be genetic. I've seen my sister sit on the brink of depression and have had to point out to her that she needed to address it. Now we are both a bit more vigilant.

I think people here know that with all that we go through to save our lives, it would be silly to ignore depression and let it rob us of happy lives.
 
Karlynn said:
I think people here know that with all that we go through to save our lives, it would be silly to ignore depression and let it rob us of happy lives.
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Very, very true. But, it can be tough to "accept"....

Hmmm....
 
hi cort,
sometimes i think people can get very defensive about things like that.
it helps to realize that you can "plant a seed" with these folks. they need "think time" for it to settle in a bit...maybe that's what this will take?
hope things work out for the best.
it's good that you are aware; you're a good friend.
stay well,
sylvia
 
Hey Cort, I think everyone here has some interesting perspectives and knowledge as always. Depression is such a funny issue cause it always seems like one of those problems people don't talk about. I was diagnosed with depression at 16 and decided on my own I needed to see someone. So, I saw a therapist. She was awful, she told me all my problems (health, social issues) was because I dropped out of school. I walked out of her office on the spot but luckily she didn't turn me off completely and I knew I needed help so I found a psychiatrist that I liked and I was comfortable with and was under her care up until last summer. "Talk-therapy" worked very well for me, I tried several depression medications and none worked for me. -actually had suicidal thoughts while on the medication. Some people have great success with it. There are different ways of treating and coping with depression and guess it depends on the persons willingness to pursue treatment. Just wish people would take advantage of the options and treatments out there.

Must agree with Sylvia, as your friend is very lucky to have you keeping an eye out for him. ;)
 
My sister. age 5 years younger than me..has always been a sad person...:( Nothing makes her happy...she is always looking for meds, ect..(been on all the depression meds, ect. for years) she was sad before her husband died of a dissection)..... She never had to worry about money because our Mother made sure she had plenty. when our Mother died, our Daddy continued to give her money.She has a great job. great kids/grandkids..ect......She is so lucky to hve a great daughter-in-law.living near by..but, still continues to look for a doctor for every little ache, pain.She is a great sister.:) Always remembers birthdays, ect..but, I think she has a ..gene? that she will always have.?....she is so honest with me..telling me..that she is never happy? she puts on a front for special occasions..and was great when our Daddy passed last year. helping for several months settling his estate.she turned age 60 and told me. I'm afraid my grandchildren will grow up thinking ..I am like our Grandmother..who at age 50..we thought was an old woman.:eek: I am still thinking that she got some gene? maybe from a long relative. and no meds will work for her.:eek: Some people just cannot be happy? Bonnie
 
ILoVeNY25 said:
Must agree with Sylvia, as your friend is very lucky to have you keeping an eye out for him.
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*grins*

Thank you. I do try ... sometimes, tho, it gets hard, especially when I start to see a bit of my own reflection.

*shrugs*

Be that as it may, I agree with you about the varied treatment options. Depression treatments are not "one size fits all" as, from what I've observed, some doctors would want people to believe. Just like the search for ones niche, you have to try different options before you can settle on what is right for you. And, that, in and of itself, seems like a daunting (depressing, even?) task.....



Granbonny said:
Some people just cannot be happy?
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*nods*

Sadly, this is very true. As some of you may remember, I was that way once. Much better these days, tho.

Happiness, after all, is what you make it. You can choose to be happy ... or you can choose to be sad. But, you choose ... either way.
 
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