Not heart related -- my father has passed away

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Hugs & prayers are coming your way. It's never easy no matter how old we are. All my immediate family is gone now and I look forward to seeing them all again some day.
 
Thank you, EVERYONE! I knew that I would find support from you, my other family....but I never imagined it would all be so gracious and heartfelt. Thank you, thank you!

It really helps to hear from others. Even the memorial service helped so much, as others came forward and told lovely reminisces. I'm receiving cards from extended family members, and old friends. It is wonderful to collect those old and tangible memories from those who really didn't see him at his worst.

So with this experience I'm having, I now know that hearing particulars can mean so much to people who have lost someone. I will always be sure to respond to families who have lost someone with some anecdote or memory. And so, I am learning from him....even in his death. A most remarkable relationship!!!!

I'm keeping an eye out for him. I've felt him around in the dark, some. Someone called my name, but it was a woman's voice. I just can't believe that he has vanished....I know he is still there.

Thank you again for all your warm and caring responses.

Marguerite
 
Sigh. Today, June 12th, marks the 34th year since my father and I drove across the Oregon state line to deposit me in my new life. I had decided to head west (from Maryland where I pretty much grew up) and finish college at the University of Oregon. He and I decided a road trip was in order and we spent 2 weeks touring some National Parks, mostly travelling off freeway on old state roads, staying in whatever handy motel was available when we drove into whatever town we landed in (let's see, which one do you think is cheapest??) eating raunchy diner food and taking lots and lots of photos together. It was a pretty wonderful little adventure and since we were such great pals.... just really a lot of fun.

We drove my '64 Ford Galaxie which was already 10 years old and figured if it made it all the way, great! If not, we had the title with us, we'd packed light (shipped stuff ahead) and we could just sell her to a junk yard if she didn't have the guts to make it, then hop a train the rest of the way. But she made it....bandaids to fix windshield wipers, gum to stop up a little roof leak, changing a few re-tread tires along the way..... I kept her for 2 more years, actually, until I graduated from college.

Well, thanks for letting me share. :) Just more wonderful memories with the greatest dad, ever.

Here's a blurry but favorite photo of mine...... I do love this place I call home!

Marguerite
 
Im not sure where you are in Oregon but I can relate to your love of that place. I lived outside of Portland when I first left the military (Ft Lewis, WA). My ex is from Oregon, Coos Bay out on the coast. I also have freinds who are still there and I get back every few years. Two summers ago I went camping out near Bend. It just made me miss it that much more. My goal is to get back there hopefully in the next 5 or 6 years, we have 3 boys that are still in school (next year senior, soph, and freshman) and hopefully within a few years after that we will be moving. Ideally I'd like to find a hunk of land somewhere south of Portland, even south of Salem would be fine. I've been in Ohio since 91 and I can honestly say there really is no comparison.
 
Marguerite:

My condolences on the loss of your dad.

My mother-in-law died from Alzheimer's on May 1, 1985, at age 64.
John & I had gotten married July 3, 1980, and Louise was already exhibiting symptoms of "the long goodbye," as I've heard it described many times since then.
My father-in-law lovingly cared for her at home -- not an easy task. Suddenly, he was left with a big void. He had spent so much time taking care of Louise: dressing her, feeding her, cleaning her up, etc.

My husband has many memories of his mom, but the only memories I have are of a very confused woman I met in April 1980 and whom I only "knew" for 5 years.

I'm glad you have many wonderful memories of your dad. He will live on in your heart and those of his many loved ones.
 
Margauerite....I am sooooo sorry for your loss...

Margauerite....I am sooooo sorry for your loss...

Marguerite53 said:
Hello all.

Many of you were aware that I have been struggling alongside my father with his Alzheimer Disease. On May 31 he passed away from complications related to a medical procedure he'd had 2 weeks before. It was sudden for me. Gruelling in that I had to agree to honor his advance directive....do nothing....and put him on hospice care. Two days of morphine and he was gone. I wasn't there for the final moment, but had said my good-byes and had spent many hours by his side.

We've had the burial and memorial service this past weekend. As his only child (and he is long divorced) it was an exhausting and emotion filled time. My family has been amazing. Tributes from my 3 grown children were inspiring. My husband secretly hired a lone bagpipe player graveside for our small, private burial (my dad loved bagpipes).

He is free. It is good. I am sad. It is done.

Anyway, for anyone else out there dealing with this awful disease, my heart goes out to you. It runs so much deeper than the simple words "memory loss" refer to.

I'm okay. He'd be very upset if I weren't, so I will be!!

And hopefully I can be a stronger part of this community now that I'll have a lot more time. I've missed you guys!

Marguerite
Click to expand...

I want you to know that you have my biggest ((((((((((((((((((((((HUGS))))))))))))))))))))) and prayers as you go through this difficult time. I know all too well how devistating Alzheimer's can be as I have lost 1 close framily friend to this disease, and I know at least one other person that is going through it now. Please know that I pray that you heal from this as quickly as possible and know that after losing my grandmother a little over a year ago, I know how you must be feeling (I am still grieving for my grandmother). Again, Huge Hugs From Ole Harrybaby:eek::eek::eek:
 
Marguerite, my sincere condolences at the loss of your Dad. The memories will carry you through and I thank you for sharing yours with us. {HUG}:)
 
Such beautiful memories to cherish......and the pic of you sitting on the Galaxie.....priceless! ;)
 
Marguerite53 said:
Sigh. Today, June 12th, marks the 34th year since my father and I drove across the Oregon state line to deposit me in my new life. I had decided to head west (from Maryland where I pretty much grew up) and finish college at the University of Oregon. He and I decided a road trip was in order and we spent 2 weeks touring some National Parks, mostly travelling off freeway on old state roads, staying in whatever handy motel was available when we drove into whatever town we landed in (let's see, which one do you think is cheapest??) eating raunchy diner food and taking lots and lots of photos together. It was a pretty wonderful little adventure and since we were such great pals.... just really a lot of fun.

We drove my '64 Ford Galaxie which was already 10 years old and figured if it made it all the way, great! If not, we had the title with us, we'd packed light (shipped stuff ahead) and we could just sell her to a junk yard if she didn't have the guts to make it, then hop a train the rest of the way. But she made it....bandaids to fix windshield wipers, gum to stop up a little roof leak, changing a few re-tread tires along the way..... I kept her for 2 more years, actually, until I graduated from college.

Well, thanks for letting me share. :) Just more wonderful memories with the greatest dad, ever.

Here's a blurry but favorite photo of mine......
Click to expand...

Simply an awesome picture and story/experience for you.

Heh...and people wonder why I love road trips!

;)



Cort:34swm."Mr Monte Carlo.Mr Road Trip".pig valve&pacemaker
WRMNshowcase.legos.HO.models.MCs.RTs.CHD = http://www.chevyasylum.com/cort
"I'll take a Chevrolet just any day" ... John Conlee ... 'Common Man'
 
Prayers Coming Your Way, Friend

Prayers Coming Your Way, Friend

Marguerite,

Sorry To Read Of The Loss Of Your Father....
Time, Good Memories And Family Will Sustain You.....
Peace To My Fellow Oregonian Sister....:eek:
 
((((Marguerite)))

((((Marguerite)))

I'm so sorry about the loss of your father. You know I'm in and out - more out lately than in - and just read this. I loved your little anecdotes and God does that picture from 1974 take me back. Thanks so much for sharing those. Many hugs and we will keep you in our prayers. J.
 
Marguerite, I just read this thread and you have my sincerest condolences. I lost my dad in 2000 and still the tears come unbidden at times. My mom died two years ago but I really "lost" her when her Parkinson's dementia told hold a few years before. I am so glad you have such good memories. I do too and it really helps. I wish I good give you a hug but a cyber hug is on its way.
 
Marguerite,
I'm a little late but please know that my wishes are still very sincere. I'm so very sorry for your loss. It is not easy no matter how old we are to lose a parent and is especially hard when we have had a close and loving relationship with them. I know because I was very lucky to be "Daddy's little girl" until I was 51 years old and lost him very suddenly in 2001 from a massive heart attack.
Keep remembering the good times and he will always be there.
Peace!
Susie
 
Thanks again for all the lovely responses.

I'm abit selfish here, revisiting this thread on Father's Day, but I just wanted to be sure that everyone knows how much I appreciate each particular response. So many genuine sharings. It really helps!

I knew his passing would be difficult for me. I'm not one to reach out for things (why did I ever need to....I had my dad for anything and everything!!) but I had told my children years before that they could count on me being abit fragile when this eventually came to be. They have been outstanding and completely protective and wonderful. As such, it has been so much easier. Like Betty, though, I know that " still the tears come unbidden at times" will occur for me, too. He was just too large a presence for me.

So I guess it really is all circular. From this experience, I now have a glimpse of how I will be missed in my family (okay, somewhat presumptuous, but I know how much they love me....I just had heart surgery didn't I? Now there's a test!!). And I need to stand up to that potential memory and be the best mother I can be each day. I love my job as mother, so it isn't too tough (and I have the best kids on the planet!), but still.....when that edge of frustration creeps in and I can feel myself start to behave irrationally or impetuously I will hold back, let my father's memory be a guiding force, and think before I react. He was far more patient than I. Perhaps I can absorb some of that from him now that he no longer needs it!

Thanks for reading my ruminations.

Now I think I'll go pounce on the father in this household (he's sleeping in) and get the day rolling!!!

:) Marguerite
 
Something I did when Joe passed away might be something you would like to do. I made a website on Memory of.com. I can go there any time I want and so can anyone else that's wants to. It's great since so many family members are scattered all over. I did pay for a perpetual website, so it will be up forever, or until the website doesn't exist any more.

Here's Joe's site. I did it at my leisure and just added things one at a time.
I don't have any stock in the website, just thought I'd share.

http://joseph-pennell.memory-of.com/About.aspx
 
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