Who will be there with you?

[mattswife]

Just a quick question for those who are awaiting surgery and those who had gone through it already: how many people did you have in the waiting room during your surgery? Parents, loved ones, children, friends... I am just trying to get an idea. Thanks!

 

[Paleowoman]

No one in the waiting room during my surgery as there's no knowing how long you'll be in surgery and it's not fair on loved ones, children, friends, to wait for hours and hours, especially when you'll be unconscious for hours after surgery anyway.

The surgeon telephoned my husband when surgery was finished and told him how I was. That was around 4.00 pm (I went into surgery at 1.30pm - they were really quick !). About an hour later he phoned the hospital to find out when he could visit, and around 6.30pm he came to see me even though he knew I wouldn't be awake because he wanted to "see" me. I was unconscious on the ventilator and he took a photo of me because that's what I had wanted. He then went home. I was woken and taken off the ventilator sometime during the night. By the time my husband came to see me again it was around lunch time and I was feeling great - best day of my hospital stay !

PS - the reason my husband didn't come to see me earlier in the day after surgery was because they were busy with me in ICU - I had chest x-rays, the drains were removed, the physiotherapist came to see me, my endocrinologist came to see me - lots going on ! Once I was in high denpendancy and later on the ward he was with me lots ! My son didn't come - he would have found it too stressful.

 

[cldlhd]

My wife and my mom were waiting for me. My son wasn't allowed but even though I would have liked to see him I didn't want him there.

 

[AZ Don]

My wife and my Mom waited for me. I think it was nice that they had each other for company and they didn't have to stay in the waiting room the whole time. The staff took their contact numbers in case there was news and they weren't back yet. I actually woke up just as they came in to see me, though I promptly gagged on the breathing tube so that could have gone better. After surgery there are a lot of wires, tubes, etc. so any visitors should be prepared. We don't look our best right after surgery.

 

[DebbyA]

Both times only my husband. It's a long day to wait, and I don't think waiting rooms are set up for big groups, and I don't think it's best for others waiting. (I'm prejudiced on this point because my roommate's large and noisy family had me in tears because of the incessant yammering during my stay.) It never crossed our minds to have others there, but in two different hospitals there seemed to be an assumption that he would be there. I just figured it was for drastic decision making in case the unlikely happened.

 

[Paleowoman]

Both times only my husband. It's a long day to wait, and I don't think waiting rooms are set up for big groups, and I don't think it's best for others waiting. (I'm prejudiced on this point because my roommate's large and noisy family had me in tears because of the incessant yammering during my stay.)

Surely the nursing staff didn't let a "large and noisy family" into ICU ! They wouldn't allow that in ICU in any hospital in the UK, they would only allow loved ones for a short period of time. There was a nurse with me the whole time I was in ICU - one nurse per patient in ICU. Once out of ICU and on the ward it's different of course. I thought 'mattswife was asking about waiting at the hospital while a loved one is actually in surgery.

 

[epstns]

My wife and my adult daughter were there, but probably not hanging around in the waiting room all the time. The staff took a cell number to call them when I came into the recovery room, and they were around all the time after that. For the first couple of nights, my wife stayed on a pull-out bed in my hospital room. Good thing she did stay, as I has a lot of complications those first couple of days, and she kept the staff focused on what was best for me.

 

[DebbyA]

Paleogirl--no they weren't in the ICU, but later. I just meant it would have made my husband, and I assume others, miserable to have that crew in the waiting room with him.

 

[Paleowoman]

I'm glad for your husband Debby that that crew were not in the ICU ! I remember that there was actually a special waiting room for relatives of patients in ICU and that it wasn't 'open' to other members of the public - nurses would have made sure that a large noisy crew were not there !

 

[tom in MO]

At my hospital they encourage you to do what was best for you. In my family, my wife and daughter wanted to be there and were. They only allow 2 people in ICU at a time, but there is a large waiting room. They also take your cell phone and call you if needed, so you can leave the ground if you wish. In the waiting room, there is an electronic sign, kind of like in an airport, that tells you by patient number what stage of surgery they are in. They also call a volunteer who will find you in the room and give you messages. Off the waiting room is a more private room for unhappy consultations with surgeons.

When I had my surgery, there was a family that had about 10 people, from infant to Grandpa, including a small cooler. I saw them at check in. They were like a small windstorm. My daughter said it gave them something to watch

 

[honeybunny]

Good question, matts wife. I hadn't given that much thought. The replies were very helpful.

 

[marc_kowal]

My wife and my mom were waiting the whole time in the waiting room. My kids were too young to be there, otherwise they probably would have wanted to be there as well.

 

[mattswife]

Thanks everybody for the responses! I plan to be there the whole time, with a good book or two. Some of my husband's family are hinting that they want to be there as well. :^)

 

[MrsBray]

My husband, my mother, my father & stepmother. We were able to say a prayer all together before surgery. They waited in the cardiac surgery waiting room. I think they said there was one other man there waiting for his wife. The waiting room was right around the corner from the surgery room. My husband's cell phone number was written on the wall inside the OR, and he was called with updates. After I was put back together and moved out of the OR in to ICU, my entourage was allowed to see me briefly (unconscious, vent tube in and all), then sent off campus for lunch for a few hours. When I woke up, my husband was holding my hand and my parents were staring at me.
I felt better knowing they were there the whole time. I know they would rather have been there than at home. I was worried about my husband being surrounded by my family, and tried to get him to bring a friend or family member for his support, but he declined.
I felt like I had too many people in my room that afternoon. They weren't in the way, but it was tight with nurses coming in and out, and all the machines. My personal ICU nurse was cute though, and he gave my mom someone to flirt with. <sigh> the things we remember!