Agian;n880514 said:
PS Isn't it funny how we can reassure others whilst being nervous wrecks ourselves? We lose our objectivity when it's us ;-)
Drat, Agian! Now you've gone and given away one of my secrets.
Seriously, your point clearly shows how the mind works. Outwardly, we can react based upon facts, logic and logical projections of future events based upon history. When we, ourselves, are the "owner" of the issue, all logic goes out the window and emotion takes over. It is human nature, and it helps to explain the success and real value of support groups. We tell ourselves "Oh my God, this could happen, and then that would happen, and then. . . " We get all worked up about the "could-be's" with no valid reason to expect them to happen. We "over-exaggerate" by thinking of a semi-linear event series, but we always think of the worst possible outcome at each decision point. By the time our minds reach the endpoint, we are nervous wrecks. Our many friends here and at other support groups drag us back to reality by reminding us of the actual real facts. We are reminded that although these bad things could happen, the probability of them all going bad in sequence is very remote, and the likely outcome it much better than we envisioned. If others see this and remind us about it, we are more likely to accept it.
That's one way I have managed to avoid melt-down's over the years. I may not show it here, but I do have that occasional sleepless night with my mind zooming through all the bad scenarios. Eventually, though, I am able to bring myself back to earth. . . the earth where logic rules and the outcome is almost never the worst that could happen. Reality shines through with the morning sun, and I am once again confident in my future.
End of philosophy lesson, with one nugget to close it. I always try to live by the rule of: "If you can't have a nice day, be sure you royally screw up somebody else's." ;-)) {Steve runs and hides before the natives start throwing things. . . }
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