Staying the Course -- 8-03-2015

Valve Replacement Forums

Help Support Valve Replacement Forums:

This site may earn a commission from merchant affiliate links, including eBay, Amazon, and others.

Superbob

Steely Resolve!
Supporting Member
Joined
Apr 21, 2005
Messages
8,481
Location
Coastal Carolina
Greetings with the start of a new Staying the Course week!

Some welcome rain clouds have rolled in overnight, providing a little relief from the very hot summer. Haven't seen any rain yet, but some heavy downpours are forecast for coastal areas by evening, but unfortunately not much drought relief farther inland. I listen to these weather reports and have a heck of a time figuring which we are -- coastal or inland. We are about 5 miles from the ocean. I reckon we are 'tweeners. Anyway, I hope we get some of that rain -- in fact, I hope all areas get it because we are in a drought condition now.

Superdawg continues to be lethargic. She is responsive when I talk to her or pat her, and when my son's dog came over last night, she did eat a little of her food just to keep him from getting it. She goes in the backyard upon coaxing. So there is some life. I may take her in to the vet again, though I doubt she can offer much (already have some arthritis pain med for her). I hate the current trend, but Sadie has surprised me before and snapped out of these little spells and demanded to play or walk. I am visualizing some more great walks for us this fall, keeping my fingers crossed.

I have an appointment for a root canal this Wednesday -- been dreading that sucker for a month. I've been referred to a well-respected doc who specializes in these, and I know these procedures often are nothing more than routine dental work despite their awful-sounding name. But guess I've become a bigger wimp in my old age -- he offered me anxiety meds, but I decided against that -- I have to drive myself back home.

Well, the butterflies are enjoying themselves on the profusely blooming Lantana right outside the back door, and the birds are happily flying about and chirping, so life goes on. Need to work in some exercise today. We stay the course.

Cheers,

Superbob
 
Hoping for the best for Sadiedawg, Superbob...and that your dental procedure is not too painful or traumatic. I still have a month to go before I can return to the dentist post-op. I know I have a couple of issues that will need attention including doing something with the blank space where I had to have an extraction pre-op. We're getting prepared for our trip that begins next week. It's a 12 day cruise around the British Isles. I'll miss the seashore cottage but I will return to it after we get back in late August. Hope everyone has a great week...on course.
 
I'm still here, too, everyone. I watch daily for updates on Sadie, and remember all too well when our four-legged children were struggling with arthritis and other age-related issues. Old dogs are so dignified as they age. We can learn quite a lot from them. They somehow just deal with it in their own ways, never complaining, always loving. Dogs are the best companions we humans can ask for.

Life here has settled into its usual summer status - as busy as a one-armed paper hanger. Summer is my favorite season for its weather and for being able to get outdoors and enjoy things, but it is also the busiest season at my office. So for many years, summer has been a bitter-sweet season as I struggle to be able to enjoy it before it leaves us for another year. We do still get some time to be out and about, but the stress level at work elevates and makes it almost impossible to vacation during the summer. This limits the selection of vacation destinations, as by the time we are able to go, the weather in many places is not much better than it is at home. We've been to South Florida many times, also southern California and Texas. This year, maybe Phoenix/Scottsdale. I just want to go somewhere (in December) where I can still wear summer clothes during the day, where we can dine al fresco, where it will be pleasant to see the sights -- and not to have to wear long sleeves and jackets. Just running out of domestic destinations to try.

Health-wise, I can say that things are stable. I've held at my summer weight for the last couple of months, and as long as no new health issues emerge, I'll call that a victory.

Until the next post, I'll be Staying The Course.
 
Good to hear from you, Steve and Jim. August is a month of vacation for many. My DW sometimes asks when we are going on vacation, and I reply facetiously that we live in a vacation paradise, why would we want to go anywhere? That of course doesn't make her happy. In truth, a vacation is a getaway, more often than not, a change of scenery. But I hate to do much but hunker down in August. I am thinking a fall trip to the mountains would be very pleasant.The leaves changing color, a walk beside a mountain stream, just cooling it at a mountain lodge. Hope we both will be in good enough health to do something like that. (DW has a couple of small surgeries upcoming to relieve carpal tunnel pain.) Thinking about if we would go to upstate South Carolina, western North Carolina, or back to the Virginia Blue Ridge. Somewhere within fairly easy driving distance; don't think we want to through the airport hassle.

Sadie report: she's hanging in there. Got her to eat a bit last night. Hopefully she will bounce back again. She's a tough gal.
 
Last edited:
Freddie and Cooker (and earlier in the week, Steve and Jim), it was very nice and much appreciated for you to think of my dear sweet Sadie girl. She faded rapidly over the past two days, to the point that she could not even stand up. She wasn't eating anything at all and had lost 7 pounds in 2 weeks. Her system was shutting down. The tests pointed to the onset of liver failure. All of the family members told her how much we love her, and my son and I took her to the vet this morning. Sadie's eyes clearly signaled to me that the time had come, no doubt. Yes so sad, and such a feeling of emptiness. But I feel she will always be my kindred spirit and with me always. I have written a piece with photos about her life on my blog at www.steadfastdawgwalker.com for anyone who'd care to read it. It offered a bit of therapy for me to write it. Again, thank you, my dear friends.
 
Last edited:
Superbob, I, too just lost my beloved dog. She was over 16, and doing well until Thursday night. Sunday was a gorgeous miniature dachshund. She passed on Friday at the vets office as he took her away to put an IV line in to start the meds (he was going to bring her back to me for the injection but she died in his arms on the way to insert the IV). I am 42, she has been in my life since I was 26. We have been through marriage, children, location and job changes. Ironically, she had congestive heart failure (side note: her recent echos and x Rays cost more than mine!). I had a dachshund growing up, but this is different. She was my child. I was, admittedly, obsessed with her. She even came on our honeymoon (I tried to get her in the wedding but the minister said no). My children often asked whether I loved Sunday more than them.....certainly, it was equal. Have you ever dealt with this type of loss before? I am paralyzed with grief. I can't stop crying and thinking of her. I replay her last day in my head over and over - and what I would have done differently at the vet had I known how it would unfold and how quick it would all be (I thought I was just getting her checked out, but even once I made the decision and we went to the back room they carried her back, not me, and then they carried her out of the room to get the IV inserted. Why didn't I insist on carrying her, or that he put the IV in there in front of me? I was caressing her in the waiting room and as also she was briefly examined, but not the way I would had I known those would be her last few minutes. Why didn't I tell her it was okay to let go as I was rubbing her ears as he examined her? I called my husband to tell him and instinctively turned away from docs, nurses and Sunday as I cried on the phone and was telling him my husband was about to happen (I didn't want to do it without telling him, as he had no idea it would happen), when I should have been holding her. Why didn't I insist on getting her into the doc first thing in the morning instead of waiting? (Like you, I thought it was just one of those "under the weather" days until I was actually driving her to the afternoon appointment). I worry she suffered - although if so, it was it was just that that night and day. I do believe she waited for me to have surgery (April) and then to know I did not have a leak requiring another surgery (just learned a few weeks ago). So very sorry to hijack your thread, I am still raw, and seeing your post opened the floodgates again. How do we deal with grief? I am trying to focus on her long life, but I can't stop thinking about her death.
 
Superbob, I am so sorry to read about Sadie. No amount of preparation or understanding on an intellectual level that it was time seems to help with the pain associated with the loss of our little companions. So sorry also to read about the loss of your little friend, DachieMom. I lost my Bradley while I was in the hospital recovering from OHS in February. I didn't get to say that final goodbye or hold him one last time. After I fought my way back from the depths of my sickness post OHS...that is when the loss of Bradley finally hit me. I've been depressed about it for three months now. Post OHS cardiac depression is bad enough by itself, but so much more devastating combined with the loss of a 13-1/2 year old sweet companion. I see him everywhere we went together, I still talk to him on walks, I look for him on the shore when i swim in the ocean. But he's not there. Sometimes I take comfort in things I read. Usually the comfort is momentary, but some relief if only briefly: “It came to me that every time I lose a dog they take a piece of my heart with them. And every new dog who comes into my life gifts me with a piece of their heart. If I live long enough, all the components of my heart will be dog, and I will become as generous and loving as they are.” – Anonymous - I'm trying to decide about adopting another dog now.

Sending hugs to Superbob and DachsieMom,

Jim
 
DashieMom, first in no way are you hijacking this forum/thread. That is exactly what we are here for -- free sharing by us all. Wish I had some sure-fire quick way to overcome the grief, but it's hard. Gradually the pain will ease and there will be happy memories and new experiences, though as Jim's post about Bradley eloquently conveys, some part of our heart will always belong to our departed best friend. I do urge you: please don't beat yourself up over how everything played out in the vet's office. Sunday fully knew how dearly you loved her; nothing that happened unexpectedly in the final minutes will ever change that. Sending thanks and hugs to all.....
 
Bob

I'm sorry for your loss ... grief is tough ...
Superbob;n857378 said:
.... Wish I had some sure-fire quick way to overcome the grief, but it's hard..

don't ... one of the things I dislike about our society is we focus on the quick fix. The love you had and the fondness you had were built over time. It would make us machines not humans if we could acquire that instantly and dissolve it instantly. The intensity of the feelings of loss reflect the depth of the relationship.

To quote from the character of Walter Bishop (in a telemovie)
The pain is her legacy to you, it is proof that she was here. You can't escape it by building walls around your heart or by vengeance.​
Like you have lost something such as a finger or a toe, this loss will always be there. We get accustomed to our losses and (need to) learn to live with them as a part of who we are now.

People often grieve over the loss of their health, which comes in stages of jumps. To me this is made worse by our societys failure to engender in us the truth that the price we pay for the gift of living is to face death. For us who are not gods it is certain, yet (to quote Aldus Huxley) "many live as if death was an unsubstantiated rumor". Part of being able to live each day is the knowledge that each day is precious, if we lived forever then what would make that precious? Gold and Diamonds are valued because they are rare.

I wish you peace
 
yes, thank you for the thoughts Pellicle. I don't disagree, but I was trying to respond to Dashiemom's expression of grief and second-guessing herself over how the final hours for her beloved Sunday played out in the vet's office. Those feelings are natural -- here, two days later, I unexpectedly find myself second-guessing myself a bit -- could I have insisted that the vet try some heroic actions to save Sadie for some months more? Considering it rationally, though, her systems were shutting down, she had been spitting up bile for days, she was in apparent liver failure. Usually in the vet's office she is full of life and running around and barking ,greeting all. This time my son and I had to cart her in, she was still, quiet, and looked intently into my eyes as if to be begging for her terrible pain to be brought to an end. and to be allowed to peacefully go to sleep. I miss her terribly, but I cannot be consumed by grief. or for that matter guilt . Death is natural. I have had to confront my own mortality. I understand. Each day is indeed precious.
 
Superbob, Dachsiemom, and Jim, I share your pain in the loss of your furry four-legged children. People who have never adopted dogs cannot fathom the feelings we have when we lose them, nor can they imagine how "the right" dog manages to complete our lives.

As I've mentioned before, we had a pup (Shi-Tzu) for almost 15 years, and when his time came, I was shattered. For the first 3 or 4 months after Paxton's passing, I still took walks at all the same times I used to take him. I walked all the same routes to the same places we used to walk, and just thought about him and how I missed him. I said "good night" to him every night, and still looked for him to greet me at the door when I returned from work. Over time, these needs lessened and the pain diminished. But my love for that pup has never wavered. He will always be in my heart, as I'm sure your little ones will, too.

It has been about 20 years since Paxton's passing. We have not had another dog since. Not that we wouldn't love to have one, but for us the time is not right. We are not home enough to be fair to a dog, especially a young pup. We want to travel, and don't relish the thought of boarding a pup, and no longer have nearby family willing to take him/her while we are away. We do plan to have another four-legged child once we have done our wandering and are settled back home for the long haul. There is just something comforting about sharing your life with a four-legged furry child. Their love is so unconditional, so profound, and all they want is our love in return.
 
Thank you, Steve -- appreciate your reflections on Paxton and how he is still in your heart 20 years later. And I understand fully not taking on another furry child until you have time to devote to the pup. Hope you will have the joy to have another in your life at some point. If I came across another similar to Sadie, I probably would want another dog, too, but our property is unfenced and I would not want a new four-legged child running away and getting lost. That's sad, too. When we moved here, it was no problem because Sadie and I had an unbreakable bond and she would never have run away. Couldn't expect that right away with a newbie. Maybe when I can scrimp enough money together to get a fence (pretty pricey under our HOA terms), I will look for another Sadie -- but then again, there may never be another Sadie. Anyway, thanks so much for your thoughts.
 
Sorry Bob, wasn't meaning to sound as if I was putting you down. I was also writing for general readership / lurkers (who read but remain anonymous), I'm not always good at expressing the emotional stuff (which is not to say I don't feel it).

.... I have had to confront my own mortality. I understand. Each day is indeed precious.

I think most of us who have come out of the waiting room have. Perhaps that process is why the waiting room is tougher.

Best wishes
 
Back
Top