Sex?

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Tbone said:
Did you hear about the fellow that was talking to his buddy, when he said, "I don't know what to get my wife for her birthday. She has everything, and besides, she can afford to buy anything she wants. So, I'm stumped." His buddy said, "I have an idea. Why don't you make up a certificate that says she can have two hours of great sex, any way she wants it. She'll probably be thrilled!" So the first fella did just that. The next day his buddy asked, "Well, did you take my suggestion? How did it turn out?" "She loved it. She jumped up, thanked me, kissed me on the mouth, and ran out the door yelling, 'I'll see you in two hours'."
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LOL!

My cardio began his post-op sex lecture with, "Well, if you have sex with your husband or any other significant others..." Geez. What was I? The local garden tool?

My hubby is as skittish about things as a cat. It took us a while before we resumed this thing. I'm the horny one, he's not, and it's been pretty interesting at home with that one.

Anyway, I have enjoyed reading this thread, but couldn't reply at work since I've been doing most of my posting from there. :D:D:D
 
Ross said:
WHERE WHERE WHERE!!!!! Tell me now.
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Yes, please tell me, too.

*sighs*

STILL no experience. Though, apparently, I'm only attractive to the married/taken ladies ... but I haven't been tempted enough ... yet, anyway. Sure would be nice of a SINGLE, cute lady would want me ... lol. That would make the temptation a lot easier to accept ;).


Ross said:
I've said that from the get go. We Vr people are the largest perverts and alcoholics there are. Maybe that's a good thing? :D
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Yes, it is.



Cort | 35swm | "Mr Monte Carlo"."Mr Road Trip" | pig valve.pacemaker ...RT 66 = Sept 5-16, '09
WRMNshowcase.legos.HO.models.MCs.RTs.CHD = http://www.chevyasylum.com/cort
"I've got this feeling that won't subside" ... Eric Carmen ... 'Hungry Eyes'
 
On my discharge papers it says right there in black and white: "Sexual relations may resume at any time."

After, the pain meds kick in, I would suspect--probably another reason not to go too long between pills.
 
Now I'm wondering how anyone could possibly enjoy sex with a giant buckshot-filled turtle shell glued to his or her chest and starting to peel off.

Sigh.
 
My doctor told me when I could walk up two flights of stairs and down without getting winded, I was good to go! Sure is not like it use to be for sure! :(
 
LOL, when the nurse was reading through the discharge instructions with me and my partner, she skipped the bit about sex. She was quite young and obviously a bit embarrassed - she went pink and cleared her throat and quickly moved on to the next thing on the list:):)
 
Bridgette said:
LOL, when the nurse was reading through the discharge instructions with me and my partner, she skipped the bit about sex. She was quite young and obviously a bit embarrassed - she went pink and cleared her throat and quickly moved on to the next thing on the list:):)
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I hope you were polite & explained to her that that was very unprofessional of her. :eek:
 
Bridgette said:
LOL, when the nurse was reading through the discharge instructions with me and my partner, she skipped the bit about sex. She was quite young and obviously a bit embarrassed - she went pink and cleared her throat and quickly moved on to the next thing on the list:):)
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I would have pointed out that she didn't go over that part with me therefore, I could not sign my discharge instructions. :D
 
You ladies will get a good laugh out of this one.

When I had my AVR and things went so horribly wrong and I was trached, it involved severing some nerves that left most of my throat and chin numb. They had my anticoagulation so screwed up that simply scratching my leg caused a very nice bleed. I was scared crapless to try to shave myself with no sensation of how close I was getting to the skin, so I asked if one of the nurses could shave me.

Well this nice young nurse comes in with all the materials, sits down on the bed and looks at me with the meanest face I've seen since I shot the neighbors windows out with a bb gun when I was a kid and says, " I need you to sit between my legs. Being a male, do you think were going to have a problem with that?" I told her no, that I was harmless, even if I wanted to do something otherwise, and so she agreed. We didn't have any problems. First girl on this planet that ever gave me an issue over that kind of thing. Also, the first girl on this planet that showed me she could save a balloon with a blade razor of untold sharpness without breaking that balloon!
 
I am single and live alone ... but this post has given me so many laughs that I wanted to bring it back for the newer post ops.
 
Ross said:
You ladies will get a good laugh out of this one.

When I had my AVR and things went so horribly wrong and I was trached, it involved severing some nerves that left most of my throat and chin numb. They had my anticoagulation so screwed up that simply scratching my leg caused a very nice bleed. I was scared crapless to try to shave myself with no sensation of how close I was getting to the skin, so I asked if one of the nurses could shave me.

Well this nice young nurse comes in with all the materials, sits down on the bed and looks at me with the meanest face I've seen since I shot the neighbors windows out with a bb gun when I was a kid and says, " I need you to sit between my legs. Being a male, do you think were going to have a problem with that?" I told her no, that I was harmless, even if I wanted to do something otherwise, and so she agreed. We didn't have any problems. First girl on this planet that ever gave me an issue over that kind of thing. Also, the first girl on this planet that showed me she could save a balloon with a blade razor of untold sharpness without breaking that balloon!
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so that's the image you have been carrying around all these years! no wonder you are frustrated..........
 
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