Mental Block. Depression. Confusion.

[Jkm7]

Who said someone on coumadin cannot drink?
Though I only took coumadin short term, all my doctors and the doctors and nurses at Mass General Hospital told me it was fine to have a glass or two of wine but to be consistent and drink responsibly. That is not advice adverse to what most responsible people would follow.

You can drink with your friends but do your INR testing carefully until you determine the influence it has on you. We are all different. Once you know if wine/beer/liquor raises or lowers your INR, you will know how to adjust. For many of us, the liquor has no measurable influence on INR. It did not for me.

I also agree you may wish to look for a cardiologist with whom you can work better. You don't seem to be on the same page with your current cardio and that sometimes happens. Doesn't hurt to see if there is a good cardio with whom you can 'work together' in more agreement.

Good luck, Ovie.

 

[Luana]

A big part that's killing me is that I'm no longer able to play Hockey, I beg my cardiologist but he just says its too dangerous. Hockey has been 90% of my life and I'm told I can't do it anymore is a huge blow.

Why can't you play hockey? Too dangerous for what?

 

[Ovie]

I've had the top 2 Cardiologists in my city, they make me feel comfortable with my health, and are the best at what they do, so I'd rather not go down the latter to find someone who will just agree with me. However I hate just being told "no". I like room to work with and it gives me a bit more confidence. As far as going and hanging out at the bars, it's just not what I want anymore and there is nothing worse then being the only sober one amongst a crowd of drunks. I still drink beer but not like I use to. Finding people who are into different activities other then drinking is scarce because if they're not out drinking they're most likely home and difficult to find, and straying from friends who I've known since preschool and have been through everything with isn't easy.

But I don't want to sit and whine and say that life isn't fair..hopefully ill find my calling or place in this world once more as I had before surgery.

 

[pellicle]

I've had the top 2 Cardiologists in my city, they make me feel comfortable with my health, and are the best at what they do,

I was lucky and had the best in the state (perhaps the country) doing my early surgery.

they said "its not advisable" to ride around the bush on my dirt bike. But I did it anyway. Warfarin extends the risks of head injury. Just read up on it and know your stuff!

it is now your turn to become experts. They are expert in the specific area of the surgery, not of all the other bits.

we all take risks.

there is nothing worse then being the only sober one amongst a crowd of drunks. I still drink beer but not like I use to.

whick can only be good for you ... go check out some late 50 year olds who have kept that lifestyle up ... the don't look good and they aren't healthy.

paradoxically this event could see you living a healthier life for the rest of it (and still playing ice hockey)

not out drinking they're most likely home and difficult to find, and straying from friends who I've known since preschool and have been through everything with isn't easy.

no, its not. But when I came back to my small town after years away I realised that doing that was the best thing I ever did. I will not be staying in my home town (where my wife and I cam back to to look after my father) much longer. I will be heading off to a small town in eastern Finland as soon as this bloody wound heals and I have a clean bill of health!

Expect to see that on my blog too

But I don't want to sit and whine and say that life isn't fair...

well actually it isn't. Life is just what happens, people get dealt bad hands. Its how you deal with it that makes you who you are.

winner or loser

 

[Jkm7]

Ovie,
You need to rediscover yourself. Determine what makes you happy. What you enjoy doing and go do that. You will find like minded people in places doing things you like. We all make new friends throughout our lives and as our realities evolve, we find ourselves in positions/places where people who like the things we like are apt to assemble.

Take some courses at a community college. Join a philanthropic organization. Do charity work. Volunteer with children or seniors or homeless or mended hearts foundations etc Take a dance class, learn to play tennis, go to the gym and work on building a 'six pack'. Plant a garden next spring/summer, build a bookcase for all the great books you plan on reading..... Find out what you NOW like. You don't like what you and your former friends used to like. So... what do you now like?

Sitting home alone will leave you sitting home alone.
You have been given the chance for a full and happy life. You now have to make that for yourself. No one can or is likely to give that to you. You will get back (hopefully) the effort you put forth to find the 'new you'.

Sorry if this is too blunt. I mean the best and hope it provides some food for thought.

 

[Superbob]

Lots of great advice here, Ovie. My thought would be to check with your local hospital(s) and see if there is a Mended Hearts chapter located there. Affiliated with the American College of Cardiology, this is a volunteer support group of heart surgery survivors who reach out and try to help folks who are going through difficulties. At our chapter, we also have informative speakers, monthly luncheons at the hospitals, social events, plus we are organizing a big fundraiser to help needy folks be able to get cardiac rehab after their surgeries. You become a part of something -- have access to plenty of experiences pertinent to yours, while also becoming attuned to the problems of others and interested in them and bigger-picture causes. Just an idea -- it might be your cup of tea. You could visit and see if you like it.

 

[Guyswell]

I know a cardiologist who takes coumadin for afib and he still goes downhill skiing. He's also a ski instructor when he's on vacation. His advice is "if you're on coumadin, don't ski out of control and don't run into anything". Why not consider becoming a youth hockey coach. You can lace up the skates and share your love of hockey without crashing into the walls and other 200 pound guys.

 

[Ovie]

Not at all JKM I prefer blunt over sugar coated.

Thanks for all the positive vibes everyone, means a lot!

 

[epstns]

Ovie - There's a lot of good advice here. The one common thread I see is that almost all of it is telling you to decide what you want to do with your new life. The truth is that you can be almost anything you decide to become -- you just have to decide what you will be and go do it. Is is NOT easy. I've been forced to reinvent myself in my career. I was very uncomfortable doing it, but I did it and did it well. You can, too.

Have you tried having a "heart to heart" (pun accepted) chat with your childhood friends to tell them what is now different for you? You may be able to assure them that they still mean the world to you but that you are unable to go seriously pub crawling with them any more. Tell them that each and every one of them remains a significant part of your life, and that you want to continue to be a part of their lives - but it will have to be on your own terms. I won't try to advise you on the effects of alcohol on warfarin patients, as I only used warfarin for a few months. I will, however, advise you to make good use of the search tools here to find all the past posts about young patients who took warfarin and wanted to continue a "well-rounded" social life. Many of them pushed the limits, and may have found some new limits as well.

Hockey is another area where I have only been a spectator. (My daughter was a goalie on the university varsity womens' hockey team, though.) I understand why the cardios are very negative about the sport. Not only are there many instances in which players are cut, scraped, bruised or gashed, but there are also many seemingly brutal impacts that make the docs shudder about internal injuries. Is it any worse than dirt-biking? I don't know. But I will ask - have you thought of becoming a ref? One of my professional colleagues, a guy I've known for probably 35-40 years, was an avid basketball player in his younger days. When he was in his early 30's, he suffered a spontaneously collapsed lung and underwent emergency surgery. From that point onward, he was advised not to play competitive ball any more. He loved the sport, couldn't give it up, so he trained and became a ref. Even today, decades later, he is still active in his sport. The ref gets good exercise, he is an integral part of the excitement, but he is far less likely to be jammed in the process. Food for thought. . .

Ovie, I think the first and most important task for you in getting past these times is to find someone you can talk with about it all. I think you mentioned that you have done so. If so, use that time for what YOU want to cover. If not, please find someone you trust to talk with. It really helps.

 

[epstns]

Ovie - Have you read this one? Current discussion on warfarin and ice hockey.

Drat - lost the link. Just search "new posts" and it will show up.

 

[Superman]

Welcome back, Ovie. Wish it was under better circumstances. While I understand what you're going through, I can't really relate. I didn't have the same experience with friends post OHS as you. I was 17 when I had my first replacement, and I spent my fair shair of time at bars in my early 20's. My friends and I had a running joke about coumadin. It made me a lightweight. Many a time I jokingly offered to share medication so their bar tabs weren't so high.

Can't really speak to hockey, but I did play some basketball at the Y post surgery and did a lot of mountain biking as well. Fractured and elbow and a thumb post surgery. Went over the bars a couple times. I've been downhill skiing.

You kind of have to be aware of your own limitations. If your crew is the type that never finishes a game without it ending in a trip to the ER for somebody, it's probably best to avoid. But if you're wearing full pads, helmets, and a face mask, and aren't looking to pretend your in the pros - I would expect playing hockey shouldn't be that big a deal.

Regarding advice you received about seeking another opinion, I believe you really do have to know your cardiologist. My sons first pediatric cardiologist was a self-proclaimed band geek. He never had any qualms about taking athletics away from a child becaus he never placed any personal value on them. He may have been a knowledgable Dr., but his approach was, "When in doubt - ban it". We've since switched to a pediatric cardiologist who was an avid runner and athlete when he was in school. He has a better real world understanding of sports, risks, and the value they can bring to a person. We are much happier with his more realistic (for us) approach.

Don't feel like you'll be insulting or telling your current cardio that he's no good by seeking another opinion. I'd encourage you to get a better understanding of where he's coming from before you make life altering decisions on his advice. If he has no interest in hockey, it may simply be that it's easy for him to err on the side of caution because he wouldn't miss hockey.

 

[Ovie]

Thanks Superman, a lot of useful information.

EPSTN- I haven't! Ill try and find the link..something I'm curious to read.

 

[ramjet]

Confusion and letheragy were some things that caught me off guard for sure. Cardiac medications can have a direct effect on moods, but one thing I was not prepared for me was what the rehab people called "pump head". This is the nuckname they give to a condition that affects people for diffferent durations, but is quite "normal" after being on the heart bypass machine, and also to a certain extent, a condition that happens after having a general anaesthetic.

To explain a little further, during the aortic valve replacement the heart is stopped or a period of time. During thsi phase of teh surgery, your blood is oxygenated and pumped around your body by a heart-lung bypass machine, and your body is cooled dramatically, and your blood pressure is reduced significantly. It is thought that your brain may not quite get it usual blood flow, and also the chemicals released by your body during the surgery etc, all combines to cause various "clouding" of your mind and memory. For some people it is almost unnoticeable, and yet for others it issignificant, to the extent, like me, where you could not remember names, or locations,a nd get lost easily etc. It was infuriating,a nd sometimes I was left standing in the hallway crying, thinking where amm I going, what was I doing etc. The rehab people calmed my concerns when I eventually owned up to having a cloudy mind and stuffed memory....they see it all the time, but usually it is fairly transient. Some have told me that you take a month o fully erecover for every 15minutes of surgery. Anyway, during this transient phase, you can develop thoughts and habits that actually then prolong this temporary "pump head" phase, into a more chronic depression phase, sometimes referred to as "cardiac depression" by some specialists...not that uncommon after a significant cardiac event such as a heart attack or heart surgery. I'm sorry that it has seemingly become quite chronic for you, and the best thing to do is absolutely seek expert advice, guidance and treatment Treatment is not always straight forward, and drug doses may need to be adjusted or even ceased and it cna be tricky. Being appropriately active is indeed quite important, as that causes teh release of natural endorphines that help with mood and energy levels....its quite strange, but the more energy you expend in exercise, the more energy you have for life and other activities. Anway, I want to encourage you that it can be treated, its not that uncommon, and you need to be sure to tell yourdoctor honestly how you are feeling....let us know how you get on. Take care and stay active.

 

[TheGymGuy]

Ovie, I have been following this thread, but do not have much to offer. One thing I would say to you is that you have been given an extended lease on life, either partake lightly in old activities until you are sure you can do it all the way, or find new and exciting things to do meanwhile. It's nothing that have not been said, but it's just another opinion

 

[lee1lpool]

I had depression for 18 months after my first surgery back in 2001. It was like a big grey cloud hanging over me and a feelling of doom. It left eventually. Many suffer with this after OHS. I believe its all the hormone imbalances in the blood after surgery. It`s traumatic for the body. Try be positive. Some natural nutrients may help to give you a bit more energy like vitamin C, amino acids( L-carnatine, taurine, Lysine).

Good luck,

Lee

 

[katm]

I had depression for 18 months after my first surgery back in 2001. It was like a big grey cloud hanging over me and a feelling of doom. It left eventually. Many suffer with this after OHS. I believe its all the hormone imbalances in the blood after surgery. It`s traumatic for the body. Try be positive. Some natural nutrients may help to give you a bit more energy like vitamin C, amino acids( L-carnatine, taurine, Lysine).

Good luck,

Lee

Its so funny that I just came on site and saw your post. I am 4 wks post op, got a great check up from doc yesterday, told me i could drive but today I just sat on my bed in my room most of the day almost afraid to go out on my own. I know I am fighting depression, I refuse to let myself go there but it just keeps knocking at my door and wont be denied. I need to get back into the groove of things and not be so afraid. Glad to know Lee that it eventually went away. I have so much to be thankful for, I need to focus on all the positives.

 

[Jamey T]

Ovie, there has been a lot said here. I was warned by a friend about the post surgery depression before I went in for my surgery. A couple of months ago I thanked her for warning me. I am not the kind to get down, but since my surgery Dec. 2011, it is definitely there. If I hadn't been warned, I wouldn't have seen it coming. You are not alone there.
I found out about my bad valve when I was 25, and it changed my life. I turned 49 a month ago, but I sure don't feel that old.
You may want to get a second opinion. Go to the Avera Heart Hospital in Sioux Falls. They are rated as one of the top 50 heart hospitals in the nation. It is where I go, and I live in the Black Hills. It is much closer for you than it is for me, but that place is worth the drive. By the way, the surgeon there looked at my tests, and said he didn't want to do it, I needed to go to Mayo. That's when I knew I was in bad shape. They also earned my respect by saying they thought I should go elsewhere. Anyway, just see if they agree that you shouldn't play hockey. You just never know.

 

[Ovie]

I see my surgeon end of this month for first time since surgery, I was never able to talk to him after surgery or remember so I'm very interested in what he says. I'm going to tell him I'm going to play hockey again no matter what and what to watch for, I'd rather due doing something I love then something I don't, Hockey is my life and refine or coaching just isn't the same as playing the game. Thank you all for the advice, I've taken something from each comment!

 

[jake]

Ovie:

Let me tell ya, I know EXACTLY how you feel! Before surgery, I was very vital guy. After surgery, I pretty much had to learn how to live with my new body. A year after surgery, I was pretty tenative about a lot of things, now that I am over 3 years out, short of joining an underground fight club (but we cant talk about it) I pretty much do all the same stuff now that I did than. The only differance is that Im 47. Actually, I had a hip labrum repair last year and that side lined me more than OHS did! But that too shall pass!

I went down the "depression" road, been to a few therapists, was presceibed some anti-depressants, that crap just didnt cut it for me! I finally found a therapist I like and let me tell you, things have really improved for me! I didnt think I could afford to be in therapy but after 2 years of it, I cant understand how I didnt lose my mind before it! I see things so much differantly!

Sure, my body is not, by any means, the same as it was before. I get frustrated as some mental processes have been affected (memory, ballance, etc) but its all managable. I get these damn vertigo attacks from time to time but hey, perfectly healthy people have to spend hundreds of dollars on booze to get to feeling like I do when I get vertigo, so as far as I can figure, Im WAY ahaid!

All kidding aside Ovie, I sure do wish I could tell you just how much you and I have in common. The big differance being that your 20 something year old body will bounce back WAY faster than my 40 something body. Get out there and start living your life kid. I know its far easier said than done, but I am right there where you are! You just have to push yourself a little bit and overcome those fears and concerns.

In closing let me tell you something: I live near Detroit. Anyone who knows anything about Detroit knows that they have absolutely no law and order and no EMS. My job takes me into the city frequently and one day about a year after OHS, I was robbed and hit with a pipe. I got up and chased that bastard all over a neighborhood, tackled that asshat and beat the hell out of that guy! After it was all over, I couldnt beleive that I could have done such a thing a year after OHS, but who I WAS before surgery took over in a clutch. It was my first sign that life was good (right after a robery and ensuing assault and apprehension of a criminal LOL!!!) but never the less, I was ME again! I had to overcome the fear that if I had a problem that EMS would not come and get me and I would die in the street. Well, if I do, I do! Your more likely to be killed by a drunk driver than your heart turning on you, so what do ya do? Stop driving! Hell No!

Were all here for ya kid, so are your friends. Just pick up the phone and get your life on the other end!

 

[TheGymGuy]

Jake, what an awesome post and a good story. Shoot, I would chase the bastard down too. Probably slap him with his own hands - lol.

Ovie, unless your position in Hockey is an Enforcer, I truly believe you can get back to your sport. I know I got back to mine and most others here got back to theirs. Be a little more careful than before and avoid head shots.

Looking forward to hearing about your first game, etc.

V