Another Baby

[AngelaR]

Hello Everyone!

This will come as a shock but I can't seem to find a straight answer on this so I thought I would come to the experts.

Ray and I have two little girls that are 10 and 8. We had our daughters very young and we are at a place where we would like to add another little one to our family. I am 31 and Ray is 34. So age is not an issue.

The thing that is holding me back is what are the chances that a new baby would have a bicuspid aortic valve like Ray. Is it 50/50, more, less of a percentage?

Is it silly to even worry about this? I mean no disrespect to the parents on here that have children with valve issues. It was just a rough experience and of course everyday comes with new worries for Ray.

Anyone's thoughts are welcome. Thank you

 

[tobagotwo]

Everyone has one or more physical weak points, an Achille's heel. Everyone here has been touched by the failure of a heart valve. Is this highly repairable issue a reason to deny a child you truly want?

The odds are impossible to say, as they can only estimate how many people are BAV in the general population, as most are probably unaware of it themselves. As such, there is only a very unstable platform from which to predict a child's future.

In fact, the odds themselves are likely irrelevant. Of the people with BAV, by far most will never have an issue with it that requires surgery or even attention. Those that have surgery average a normal life span. People have the surgery because they hold the life they were given dear, and won't part with it. So life must be good for them to want to fight for it and move forward.

Is there a chance of BAV? Yes. There's a chance of anything in life, and a chance of life in anything.

You need to make this choice by the strength of the love in both your hearts, not the weakness of a small valve in one. I wish you peace with your decision.

Very best wishes,

 

[Maryka]

I am glad am glad to hear you have a nice family already! I was lucky I did not know about my genetic heart problems when I had my pregnancies very young! When I was considered Marfan, I got my kids tested and their hearts and aortas were found to be perfect. (My daughter does seem to have some Ehlors Danlos hypermobility issues below her waist.)

My heart surgeon told me in the hospital, however, that my grandchildrn should have their hearts and aortas checked. Sigh!

The good news is that great strides in heart surgery are constantly happening!

 

[AngelaR]

That is great advice. I just want to be a responsible parent. We have not had our daughters tested to date. So maybe that is being irresponsible. I have discussed it with their pediatrician and she doesn't think it necessary until they are older. Neither have a detectable heart murmur (I know not a true indicator). Maybe I should push the issue.

We've wanted another baby for several years now. One thing or another has held us back. I was still in the Marine Corps and worried about deploying then I got out and didn't have a job that paid well. Then I got a job that paid well and Ray found out he had to have surgery. He had the surgery.

The funny thing is with our daughters they were both surprises. Neither of us was very responsible (21 and 24 with our first) and we managed to raise a really great kid. Our second was an even bigger surprise as I was on the pill and trying to be responsible because we were super broke he was a rookie cop working crazy hours and I was an active duty Marine. Regardless we managed another great kid. =)

I guess life is full of unknown's and hurdles. Responsibility is probably how you handle those curve balls. And we've done pretty good thus far.

Thank you for your thoughts.

 

[Mileena46]

Angela,

Your post was very inspiring. I think if you both really want a baby, that issues of what might happen are irrelvant. There are a great deal of things that can go wrong with babies, unforeseen things that parents know nothing about. There are parents now going through children with cancer, and children with downs syndrome. I would bet you not one of those parents regret bringing a new life into the world.

Because you know of the possiblities now you are one step ahead of the game! You already have two healthy children, odds are...the third one would be as well. If this is a great enough concern for you, talk to your doctor and read everything you can get your hands on! For me, the decision would be an easy one. I wish I had not gotten so caught up in life that I only had one. Hindsight is 20/20 for a reason I guess.

Good luck in whatever you decide to do.

Mileena

 

[river-wear]

Hi Angela,

One other thing to consider - even if Ray didn't have a BAV you would have a chance of having a child with one. It isn't exactly rare from what I've learned. I'm not sure if mine is bicuspid or not, but as far as we know, neither of my parents' is/was.

Good luck with whatever you decide!

 

[Cris N]

Everyone has one or more physical weak points, an Achille's heel. Everyone here has been touched by the failure of a heart valve. Is this highly repairable issue a reason to deny a child you truly want?

The odds are impossible to say, as they can only estimate how many people are BAV in the general population, as most are probably unaware of it themselves. As such, there is only a very unstable platform from which to predict a child's future.

In fact, the odds themselves are likely irrelevant. Of the people with BAV, by far most will never have an issue with it that requires surgery or even attention. Those that have surgery average a normal life span. People have the surgery because they hold the life they were given dear, and won't part with it. So life must be good for them to want to fight for it and move forward.

Is there a chance of BAV? Yes. There's a chance of anything in life, and a chance of life in anything.

You need to make this choice by the strength of the love in both your hearts, not the weakness of a small valve in one. I wish you peace with your decision.

Very best wishes,

I don't think it can be said any better. What a beautiful response.

 

[Megan]

i had bav- now its fixed though!- but as mom to two with no plumbing problems in the heart and my two parents with good valves ...i say go for it!

 

[AngelaR]

Thank you all for your thoughts. It put my mind to ease to just discuss it with someone with an outside view in. My parents, Ray and our daughters are all just giddy at the idea of a baby. I just wanted to keep an eye on reality and make the best decision for the family and a prospective new member

Thank you for being so kind with your opinions.

Have a safe New Year's celebration.