Wife of New Valve replacement patient

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Nugrandma1

Hi, well new here found this yesterday with a search. My husband had his aortic valve replaced Monday at Lahey Clinic in Burlington, MA by Dr. Christina Willimason in their new surgical wing. Everything went perfectly according to them, and he's on his way to recovery.

Now, for the nitty gritty.....he's very very scared. We knew the valve at sometime in his life need to be replaced. Every year he has a few tests to determine it. So when he started feeling poorly in January, we set up his annual physical. In early Feb. he was "let go" from work. A forced retirement with a fairly good package. We kept the insurance of course with COBRA, it's expensive but worth it for sure. His blood tests came back with his thyroid not working at all, so they put him on meds for that. He felt a bit better but not all the way.
So in March they did the echocardiagram, and found his valve was not doing well, and he needed a replacement valve.

They wanted him to get his thyroid under control and scheduled the surgery for Monday July 14th.

We were of course scared but determined to take it one day at a time. He had to quit smoking for at least four weeks. which he did.

Surgery was fine, spent all day at the hospital, I am lucky it's only 20 minutes from our house. And all our doctors are there. It's a full service diagnostic hospital and has an excellent reputation. Dr. Willimason did my late mothers triple by pass in 1991 so I knew and trusted her.

Well we visited hubby the night of the surgery, he was awake and was happy to see us and they took his breathing tube out. He could talk and joke around with us and the nurses. He was so happy to be alive.

Yesterday, a bit different, reality set in and he was again scared and a bit depressed (I have suggested a therapist come in to talk with him) I hope they do it. He didn't want us around. He was sitting in a chair and very uncomfortable. He's on oxygen, full face mask because of a deviated septum.
And his oxygen levels aren't the greatest. Same today with the mask. And he has no appetite which they said was normal.

He told us he asked Dr. Williamson how bad was it????Well it was bad. His valve was almost completely gone, and he was leaking blood into his chest cavity. He was very pale for a few weeks. I think that scared him worse then the surgery.
It's going to be a long process to get him back to something like normal.

He was in denial up to the day of surgery. Saying I don't really need this and that he would be up on his feet in a day or so. Well that's not the case and he's mad as hell.

Is this common with men? Well I think so. They don't like to lose control of a situation and be physically weak.

Hoping to get some answers and some support. Since both hubby and I are only children and our parents are gone, it's just him and me and our daughter her SO and our granddaughter do live with us, we have a large 2 family home. They will be most helpful with chores and other things.

I hope the hospital has support groups, they do for just about anything now.

So glad I found this forum.
Pati
 
Welcome! I'm sorry you didn't find this site before his surgery because hopefully we could have provided a realistic view of what you both could expect. I think everything he is experiencing is normal. The first several days after surgery were the worst for a lot of us. He will start to feel better, a little each day. Good luck to you both and hopefully he will have a very boring recovery.

Kim
 
Welcome to VR.com.

I am interested to hear that your husband had surgery at Lahey Clinic. My husband Joe went there for cardiology for the longest time when there weren't any cardiologists around here that could handle his problems. He saw Dr. Bruce Mirbach there. Don't know if he is still there.

Anyway, Joe had three valve surgeries and two lung surgeries (recovery is about the same as for heart surgery).

Everything you are saying is common during the days right after surgery.

Most of the depression and anger and other emotional problems are the direct result of a reaction to the actual surgery (which is traumatic), anesthesia and pain meds which can make a mess out of the emotions. Many people even have hallucinations and scare their loved ones. Many people have crying jags and lash out at everyone that is in the room.

Also having no appetite is very common.

All if this usually "rights" itself after a few weeks of recovery, but it can take a few months for some.

Depression is, as I said, common, and for many it will go away in time. But for others it is a permanent thing and may require antidepressants.

Normal recovery from this surgery will take 6-8 weeks for the initial phase to the point that the person will start to feel better. The rest of the recovery will take much longer, even as long as a year.

Your husband has gone through a profound surgery which impacts all of the body's systems.

Time is his friend and yours.

Just keep a smile on your face and tell him that this is all a normal part of recovery, and that he will be getting better, a little bit every day. Don't take anything his says or does right now to heart, he cannot help it and probably won't remember most of it.

I remember Joe being totally out of it, with slurred speech, rolling eyes, not in control of much at all. He never remembered that part of the very early recovery.

If your husband is having problems with fluid or blood in or around his heart, his doctors will address this issue, and after that is resolved, he will be feeling much better. He will also feel much better once they remove all the tubes from his chest.

The first couple of days after this surgery are quite rough.

I wish you both all the best. Take care. Baby steps at a time.
 
Just wanting to welcome you to VR & hope that your husband will soon start to feeling better about his surgery.

Depression, anger, frustration are are all normal feelings for most if not all, OHS patients. I remember bursting into tears at the slightest thing & thinking for sure that all had been in vain & I was gonna die anyway but it all passes, with time.:)

Please take care of yourself too because the whole ordeal is very stressful on the caregiver as well, so remember to be kind to yourself too!

Best wishes to you both! :)
 
Thanks so much for the support. Lahey began doing heart stuff back in the late 80's and early 90's and they have a number of surgeons from Boston Hospitals. Dr. Williamson was at deaconess when she was recruted at Lahey. They have expanded and have an excellent new surgical wing and it's state of the art. We are very happy with our day to day care there.

I know this is all normal, been through it with my Mom and Dad. But sometimes it does hurt when they don't want you around. I was standing next to him in the chair yesterday and he yelled at me to not "hover" around him LOL. He is usually cranky when not feeling well normally.

I know it will take a long time for him to heal. One day at a time is the way to go. He is very lucky his heart is in great shape and he has not blocked arteries, clean as a whistle they said. So when this heals he should be pretty OK.

So glad I found this site...I can get so much support and my questions answered.

take care all
Pati
 
Pati...give your hubby some time and within a few weeks he will be back on his feet. he won't be in a position to do alot of manual tasks but he will be able to walk around the house, clean and dress himself, make a sandwich, etc... Within a month he should be walking and feeling better. It will probably take the better part of 3 or 4 months to get back to feeling "normal".

You didn't mention if his replacement valve was mechanical or tissue. I had a mechanical value so Im on Coumadin so it seems for life. Not a big deal really, I've thus far had no issues relating to the valve or the coumadin.

If he is depressed or angry have him sign into this site and start reading. He will find many folks here that have been through what he went through and are very sympathetic to his mindset. I went through all that also but mine we pre-surgery. I was so thrilled to have it over with and to know that everything was looking good (knock knock) so I've kinda been on cloud 9 for 4 months plus now.

Try to hang in there, he will be back to himself in no time :)

Scott
 
Welcome to VR. Sorry for the circumstances but glad you found us. Recovery can take awhile abd shouldn't be rushed. It's normal to get impatient but it's best to listen to you body and pace yourself accordingly. You'll have to be you husband's conscience in that regard. It was often my wife who would warn me when she thought I was styarting to overdo it. Best wishes and good luck to both of you.
 
Welcome aboard Pati and rest assured you are not alone. There are a lot of us "wives" here. Mine hasn't gone through the surgery yet, 12 days, left but who is counting. I have read a lot around here and depression etc. goes with the package. What you really have to remember is everyone always takes their feelings out on the "ones closest to them". so indeed that just makes us the lucky ones. sometimes I just smile and think, now I have 4 kids instead of 3 :) Hang in there it will get better untill them put the happy face on, cheerleading skirt whatever it takes to keep you smiing around him, but most importantly remember he is not all himself right now so don't take it personally. It will get better! If you need to vent that's why we are all here to have someone that has been there give us their wisdom and believe me this sight has a lot.
 
Welcome, Pati and I am glad you found us. I can't add to the great advice you have gotten so far, but just want to welcome you and tell you as another wife, I feel your pain. He will be back to normal before you know it and I hope he will want to join us here as well.
 
I know this is all normal, been through it with my Mom and Dad. But sometimes it does hurt when they don't want you around. I was standing next to him in the chair yesterday and he yelled at me to not "hover" around him LOL. He is usually cranky when not feeling well normally.

Pati

Try not to take it personally Pati.

I remember the first day after my first OHS.
I didn't want to have to interact with ANYBODY,
it was simply 'too demanding' of my limited energy as I came out of anesthesia and surgery.

You husband will learn soon enough that recovery is a SLOW process, sometimes exemplified by two steps forward and one step back. As long as he is making progress on a weekly basis, he is heading in the right direction. It's just never fast enough for most of us.

PATIENCE is the key.

'AL Capshaw'
 
I think you are right about the helplessness men feel -- especially if they have been very healthy prior to this. It was very hard on my husband the first couple of weeks. He felt he would never get better - even though he knew what to expect. I dragged him out of the house on a "date" to his favorite resturant after 3 weeks, because he was so down. My husband is very active and having to sit in a lounge chair day after day was depressing to him. That outing would improve his spirits for a while.

He turned one corner at 4 weeks and a huge improvement at 6 weeks. Now, at 10 weeks post op the main problem is holding him back from overexerting himself.

He plays tennis. He has played some - at a much lower level because of stamina issues. We learned from others on this board that the sports stamina could take up to a year to resolve. That gave him a realistic expectation. (This board is great for finding answers to specific questions like that!)

It is not a quick recovery and remind him of the progress he has made every week.

Cindy
 
Wow thanks for all the great information and help. Yesterday was a bit better, he sat up for hours, and he did want to chat a bit. I stayed with him for 3 hours mostly getting his fancy TV/computer at the hospital to work so he could watch his shows. He was happy for that. He smoked for years, quite a little over a month ago, and has some breathing issues. So he's on oxygen still but getting better by the hour. Hope to have him home tomorrow or Saturday. He has a bovine valve, mostly because he's accident prone, he'sa big guy 6'4" and bangs into things and gets small cuts and abrasions. He's 62 so we figure if he needs another valve in 10-12 years they will have the surgery down to a much less evasive one. We didn't want the mess of the coumidan and tests every week or so. Went through that with both Mom and Dad with their heart problems and it was a pain in the butt.

Luckily hubby is retired. Had just done so right before he got sick with this. We always knew it would happen, that he needed a valve at some point. Guess now is the best time to get it done.

When he's up for it I will have him come here and read about what happens and how to cope with everything. It will be very good for him to know he's not alone.

take care everyone
Pati
 
Pati,

Did he receive an "Incentive Spirometer" (Plastic Breathing Exercise Device)?

If so, the more he uses it, the faster his lungs will recover, not to mention that using it helps PREVENT pneumonia from setting in. I was told to use mine for 10 minutes every 2 hours while awake.

Regarding the Bovine Pericardial Tissue Valve, statistics show the majority of patients who receive them after age 60 benefit from them for up to 20 years (I'm thinking that number is close to 90% but need to check that). The "new and improved" Bovine Tissue Valves have an "anti-calcification" coating that is hoped to extend durability for another 5 years or so. Ask your surgeon if he received a valve with that coating.

BTW, Home Testing for Coumadin is now available which improves INR stability and greatly reduces the hastle of getting tested. Coumadin "has come a long way baby". :)

'AL Capshaw'
 
Hello and welcome!

Please give a resounding Moooooooo to your husband for me! ;) It's a great valve!!

I'm glad he is being nicer to you today!! Just for a reference point, I am like one of those way too cheerful types, Mary Poppins, bouncy and awake from the moment the alarm clock goes off. I drive people nuts with my optimism and cheerfulness. Well, apparently I groused very loudly at my husband while I was off tube and still in ICU. My husband and daughter will still NOT tell me what I said so it must have been just horrible!!! :eek::eek: The drugs are nasty and they affect everyone differently. My oldest, a son, had wisdom teeth out and just those little (comparatively) doses of whatever they were made him come out of it swinging and really mean!!!

DO make sure he uses that spirometer. DO make sure he stays off the cigarettes (and hello!!!! that alone would make him really cranky!!)

And do be as patient as you can be. But stand up for yourself, too. He may not realize that he is hurting your feelings. You have a voice in this.

When you get different questions, here, start a new thread so others who may not have chimed in on this one will see it and offer their experiences.

Best wishes to you both!

Marguerite
 
Marguerite said--

"The drugs are nasty and they affect everyone differently. My oldest, a son, had wisdom teeth out and just those little (comparatively) doses of whatever they were made him come out of it swinging and really mean!!!"

I just couldn't resist saying this, but when Joe had one of his minor surgeries, he came out of the OR higher than a kite, laughing and practically singing, promising me all sorts of wonderful things and telling nonsensical jokes.

So I guess it depends on what they give you.

Maybe everyone should ask for the "fun" stuff!!!:D
 
Thanks for the wonderful support and information. I am so glad to hear that the new bovine valves are much longer lasting. Hubby isn't much into athletics now because of his football injuiries he has bad knees and had two knee surgeries the past 4 years. He walkes and likes to ride my 3 wheel bike up and down and street a bit and swim in the pool in the summer.

He is much calmer, his "happy pills" he takes anyway are back working. He was much happier to see us today. His voice is still odd, a bit reedy and he's still a little weak. Up and walking around the halls. No congestion but still a bit low on oxygen. He may stay another day...Friday and Saturday. They want him totally off oxygen before he comes home. His rate is about 90 without the mask and they want it up to 95 or over before he can come home. It's improving every day.

Got to clean the house tomorrow and do some laundry. I bought him a nice soft cotten button down shirt and new soft shorts to come home in. He wore his ratty shorts and t shirt to the hospital LOL. These will cheer him up for sure.

He looks like he's lost a lot of weight. They have him on Lasix to get rid of the fluid he was building up and he looks like he's lost 20 lbs. at least.

Can't wait to have him home so I can spoil him a bit. LOL
But I'll make sure he gets up and walks around every couple of hours.

take care all
Pati

I'm sure I will have more questions.
 
Pati,

if you read around here, you will find one of the common things that happens after OHS is that food tastes bad; don't be surprised if his "favourites" suddenly go out of fashion, the only thing that tasted "normal" to me for days, maybe weeks, was Diet Coke and Graham crackers. I was so looking forward to a jam sandwich and a huge glass of milk, too, when I got home. Milk tasted the absolute worst, but even water was off ! (after chocolate, milk is my favourite food)

I have depression, am on anti-depressants for life (and I must say doing good because of them); the ICU doctor came in twice and told me that if it got worse, I was to tell the nurses on the ward, and they would get someone in from mental health. It is a known side effect of OHS, it messes up ALL your symptoms, but I think the enormity of having your heart stopped and all that stuff, plus the thoughts of something possibly going wrong, too, can really increase any mild negative thoughts. Anyway, please, please make sure he gets some help in that area. It will really help healing and recovery if he is in good spirits ...

He needs to listen to his body right now, his main job when he gets home is sleep, eat, breathe, walk if he can, and start all over again. He will not be getting good night sleep (sternum pain and all that stuff) and will need naps through the day.

It has been said before, take care of yourself, too . .
 
Marguerite said--

"The drugs are nasty and they affect everyone differently. My oldest, a son, had wisdom teeth out and just those little (comparatively) doses of whatever they were made him come out of it swinging and really mean!!!"

I just couldn't resist saying this, but when Joe had one of his minor surgeries, he came out of the OR higher than a kite, laughing and practically singing, promising me all sorts of wonderful things and telling nonsensical jokes.

So I guess it depends on what they give you.

Maybe everyone should ask for the "fun" stuff!!!:D


Well, Nancy.... did you get the label off that bottle for us?? :p:D I wonder if we should start a "favorite drug" list!! :eek: Prescribed, of course!!

Glad things are going better for you both, Pati. Another thing about healing. Each of us seems to gravitate toward what is the most comfortable shirt to wear as the scar is healing. For me, buttons on any shirt were wierd and uncomfortable. Even a whisper of a rub drove me crazy. It does take awhile to get those arms up over your head comfortably, but I found that low v-neck shirts were good for me. You might want to buy a size larger cotton v-neck t-shirt. But see how he is. Some of the men liked silk shirts (like Hawaiin ones) which then prompted the Tawdry Shirt craze of showing off your scar in a Tawdry Shirt (see TOOTS forum for some good humor; affectionately begun by our in-house "Mark Twain"..... Tobagotwo).

Keep up the good work!!

Best wishes.

Marguerite
 
I talked to the nurses on the floor this morning he was having another chest x-ray and then his surgeon will decide if he goes home today. I sure hope so. He's not in any real pain right now, just sore he says. So I think he can get more than one or two hours sleep. That will make him feel better. I should know in a few hours if he's coming home.

He has a mostly regular t-shirts, so I will look for v necked ones. Around the house he usually just wears his comfortable shorts and tees. He has a few Hawaiian shirts that are soft. but he goes bare chested alot. LOL

He is still not eating much, I'll wait till he comes home to see what he wants me to get at the store. I will make small meals for him anway. I am on liquid diet and stuff for preperations for my LapBand surgery in August.Both will be on diets anyway he has to lose at least 50 lbs. But slowly over the next year for both of us.

I'll report back when he's home.
 

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