So I am 31 now, had my mitral valve repaired when I was 27. I went in for a CT scan today so they could have a look at my aorta and it happened again. The woman doing the scan remarks, "you're way too young to be dealing with this kinda stuff". It brought back a wave of memories from four years ago of every doctor and nurse I encountered saying that. Does this get on anyone else's nerves as much as it does mine?? Do they not realize how shitty that makes me feel? I wanna say, "yeah, I agree but there's not much I can do about it is there?"
To the young heart surgery patients
- Thread starter ryen0
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Well Ryan, I was lucky in that I didn't get to hear stuff like that. However, I have always been the type of person who says what they think. So possibly, in a polite way you can say to them "Tell ya what, I am not able to change the cards that life has given me, so I am all in" How about you?
Yep Ryan, I've had that happen lots of times.....from a Cardio, in the 1980s, tell me "I was his longest lived valve patient", to Cardios/GPs telling me how "lucky" I was and that I am a "medical miracle". I have never really gotten used to those comments, although I think it is really them "putting their mouth in motion before they put their mind in gear" and they don't realize the impact of their statements. The good news is that surgery, as a young man, has extended my life expectancy 40+ years, so far, beyond what it would have been without the surgery. The "upside" is that the young cardios I now encounter, are in awe of me, and don't quite know how to handle me. I keep reminding them that "if it ain't broke, don't try to fix it" and they pretty much let me do my own thing.
Blow it off as best you can....and remember...... like me, you will read the obits of some of them.
Blow it off as best you can....and remember...... like me, you will read the obits of some of them.
JeffF
Well-known member
I agree it is annoying, I heard that a lot. The nurses on my floor after ICU play a game of who gets the youngest patient, and being 32 at the time, I definitely made one nurse a winner. She was telling me this as if I should have been happy about the fact I was the youngest patient on the floor.
Such ****.
Such ****.
Boy did I hear that a lot when I had my MI 20 years ago .....at that time angio was not comman and I was bumped by .....wait for it ........a 27 year old ....just glad he was around to take more flack than I was getting
Gribur
Well-known member
I have gotten that a few times during the last couple months, but I try not to let it bug me. It really is a strange statement. Sure I may be younger then the average guy/gal that receives a new valve or has aortic work done but at the same time I am not nearly the youngest. I also know a beautiful 8 month old who has just won a battle with cancer. Their are none of us who are immune to the bumps and bruises that life has or will deal us but its not the age , its how we deal with it i guess, I almost sit here and envy some of the older generations as i was recently told by an older friend that due to being young I have not yet learned to accept things and to move a little slower. I think being young has only added to my frustrations as all i want to do is get myself some immediate gratification. The really odd thing is that you would think that those who are in the medical field , and it really doesn't matter what field, would be accustomed to seeing younger patients, maybe not on the same scale as older patients but a few anyways. Maybe its just their way of trying to be sympathetic, who knows.
Jkm7
Well-known member
It's a stupid comment for any medical professional to make, particularly one who works with heart patients IMO
Have they never heard of congenital heart defects babies are born with? It is not so rare that surely they've either heard of or taken care of babies with heart defects.
Have they never heard of congenital heart defects babies are born with? It is not so rare that surely they've either heard of or taken care of babies with heart defects.
Considering I had my first heart cath at 3 weeks and my first heart surgery at 6 weeks, I beat most heart patients as being the youngest. Now they are doing surgery on newborns. It only gets me upset when people say you are to young to have heart problems because it is a symptom of a larger problem. As a congenital heart patient so many medical professionals blow off my heart problem. Even the national institute of health has decided that congenital heart disease is not a priority. Most health care professionals have the opinion that patients with congenital heart disease are cured or dead by the age of 18. At the university hospital that I go to they do not understand why I feel that I need to travel to see an adult congenital heart doc. At the age of 46 they think that a peds cardio is sufficient.
Debbie
Debbie
Rick
Well-known member
I had one person, a supposed friend, tell me my BAV was a result of my working hard and ask me whether it had all been worth it. I told him I was born with this, that it was not by choice and that hopefully life never brought him an illness but that if it did, I was pretty darn sure he would not want someone with no understanding of the situation making comments like that. I have pretty much disliked that person ever since and kept a distance.
If someone told me I was too young to get this, I would be inclined to respond "take it up with God cause I certainly did not pick this, I just gave to deal with it". I think a few people who have never had any real serious conditions can be insensitive and I dont feel OK unless I answer back something....but that is just me. Others may not feel a need to say anything.
If someone told me I was too young to get this, I would be inclined to respond "take it up with God cause I certainly did not pick this, I just gave to deal with it". I think a few people who have never had any real serious conditions can be insensitive and I dont feel OK unless I answer back something....but that is just me. Others may not feel a need to say anything.
Superman
Well-known member
Never bothered me. I am/was young to have heart surgery and heart caths. I was told I was the "youngest person on the floor" at the time of my first surgery. Also remembered being told they're "not used to seeing somebody so young on this floor". I turned 18 in the hospital. Almost 19 years later for my second, and I was still one of the younger patients on the floor. I enjoy discussing my history with this with people and answering their questions. Maybe I should be more annoyed, but that's just not me.
The only ones I ever got offended by were the, we'll say, less athletic kids in school who would say, "You're lucky you don't have to take gym." Everyone should be so lucky.
The only ones I ever got offended by were the, we'll say, less athletic kids in school who would say, "You're lucky you don't have to take gym." Everyone should be so lucky.
Sarah_Louise
Well-known member
I get this all the time! I only just moved up to adults last year, when i went to cardiac rehab i was the youngest there by at least 50 years!!! and i was the youngest they'd ever had :O
I no they mean no harm but it can be annoying at time,
xxxx
I no they mean no harm but it can be annoying at time,
xxxx
Rick
Well-known member
Superman, the comments about sports never really upset me.... so I guess we probably all are sensitive to some comments and it varies by person....almost all people I do not think mean any harm by it.....it's just something we need to learn to deal with I suppose.
cewilk
Well-known member
I do agree with you. I found out about my situation about a year ago when I was 23. Now, a year later I am having surgery at 24.
....like we really had a choice to develop or be born with a heart condition, haha
....like we really had a choice to develop or be born with a heart condition, haha
TheGymGuy
Well-known member
Man, this thread has really stirred up some serious emotions. I think Dick made a very good point, the same one I wanted to make - some people, no matter what occupation say things before they have really thought them through.
It used to bug me when I would get a super sympathetic look from a nurse or a technician when being examined at some routine doctors appointment or echo or anything else. They would also use words like "you are too young for heart surgery ..." blah, blah, blah. All I could think at those times and even recently is that I was (at the time) and (still) am in a much better physical shape, cardio-vascular condition and probably overall health than they ever were. I generally do not give it much thought other then pity them for not thinking before speaking.
It used to bug me when I would get a super sympathetic look from a nurse or a technician when being examined at some routine doctors appointment or echo or anything else. They would also use words like "you are too young for heart surgery ..." blah, blah, blah. All I could think at those times and even recently is that I was (at the time) and (still) am in a much better physical shape, cardio-vascular condition and probably overall health than they ever were. I generally do not give it much thought other then pity them for not thinking before speaking.
Superman
Well-known member
Rick, I think you misunderstood what offended me. Comments about sports themselves, or even the basketball coach who would say, "Sure wish you could play" when I was 6' 2" in 8th grade didn't bother me. It was the lazy kids who deemed my situation "lucky" that I took offense to. Somebody simply asking why I don't participate or saying they wish I could didn't bother me. At the time, and even in retrospect, I wish that I could have played too.
JeffM
Well-known member
Had my AVR at 53 and have lost count of the number of times people have said, "wow, you're way too young to have had open heart surgery". It hasn't ever bothered me, but then I've never paid much attention beyond the word "young" 
.
.karla
Well-known member
The people who have said such things to me generally assumed that I had "blocked arteries" at a youngish age and had bypass surgery. Many people have no idea there are things other than blockages that require surgery.
pgammo
Well-known member
Ryan,
I had my AVR last month, at the age of 25, and yea, it really gave me bad anxiety when they said it. In fact, my home nurse said something along the lines of "life on coumadin really sucks," which really bothered me. But, oh well. We make the best out of our situations and we are stronger for having gone through them. God bless!
I had my AVR last month, at the age of 25, and yea, it really gave me bad anxiety when they said it. In fact, my home nurse said something along the lines of "life on coumadin really sucks," which really bothered me. But, oh well. We make the best out of our situations and we are stronger for having gone through them. God bless!
Superman
Well-known member
Don't mean to be too presumptuous, but I'm guessing she's not actually on coumadin. Just has experience with people in the early stages trying to regulate right after surgery (that's part of what home nurses do). If you go by that six week window - it can seem pretty challenging. You'll find plenty of folks on this site who have experienced "life on coumadin" and have no significant complaints. Just things to be mindful of. As of this fall, I'll have spent 55% of my life on coumadin and I'm not close to the record in this group by a longshot.
