Surgery Delayed

[adpace]

I just need somewhere to vent, I think. I was supposed to have my AVR this Thursday. Yesterday I got home to a message on my answering machine that my pre-op urine sample came back with bacteria in it. So I had to go in at the break of dawn this morning to give another urine sample and hope that it comes back in time AND is bacteria-free. I'm not very optimistic about it at the moment because I was starting to think I felt a little different like a UTI could be coming on this weekend. So, they told me if there is bacteria in this one, I will have to postpone surgery until the first week of October.

I am sooooo tired!!!!! I am a school teacher, but I feel like I just might be zombie teacher. I trudge to work everyday just trying to get through. It's not fair to my students and it's not fiar to me. And now I may have to do this for at least two more weeks? Lets just say that I'm not sure how many people could have possibly missed my epic breakdown after the phone call I made to the surgeon today. There were many, many tears. I know it's in my best interest for me to be infection-free, so don't get me wrong. But I just don't know how I'm going to continue to function for two more weeks. I just don't know. . .

And, I just came off of a sinus surgery about 1 month ago. There was an almost cancellation of that one as well, which also had a major meltdown associated with it since that would have created even more scheduling issues for this surgery. So I've been SURVIVING life for the last month. Nothing more. Just surviving. Can anyone feel my pain?

Oh, and on top of just generally not feeling well, now I have to rearrange sub plans and my parents coming into town (they are still coming right now since we don't know for sure if the surgery will happen). The hard thing is that my grandmother is on hospice and they are having to leave her for a surgery that may not happen right now. And there's no way I can visit the way I feel. I would love to see her again, but that will only happen if she lives long enough for me to get through this and recover from surgery.

So. . . I'm not trying to complain. I'm just taking it really hard and need some encouragement. Does anyone else feel like the walking dead as they approach their surgery. I've made my peace with whatever happens during surgery, but I just need it to happen already! Anyone else felt this way?

 

[avrguy]

Hi adpace. So sorry about your postponement. When I went for my AVR, I was scheduled for 5pm. I was all prepped, had my happy pill when the nurse came in and "sorry Mr. W you have to be rescheduled". Devastating, but with the help of the people on this site, I got through it. As far as all your other worries, someone else needs to carry the load. YOU are the only person you should be concerned about right now. Keep in touch.
It'll all work out for the best somehow.
avrguy.

 

[adpace]

Thanks avrguy! I appreciate your input.

Another wave of emotion hit me this morning as I go into work. Today was picture day at school. I managed to get us all dressed and get my girls' hair done nicely, and that just took about everything I had out of me. But I got it done and was feeling relieved that we got through that. Well, guess what? I didn't remember the money to turn in. My sweet 5th grader is thankfully very responsible and on top of things. And luckily they attend school with me. She came down to have me fill out the form and turn in the money, which prompted me to realize that my 4th grader was about to have hers done right then and did not have money. But I feel like a terrible mother! It's because I'm so tired. I can't remember what I'm doing half the time. Well, I'm tired and my thought life is consumed with this surgery when I do have any energy to even think. I need to get this surgery done so I can feel human again and not be grouchy with my kids and forget the things they need. So, that prompted another cry fest. I just can't get it together knowing I may have 2 more weeks of this misery and feeling like I can't function but still trying to get through each day of work.

And anytime that anyone asks me how I'm doing right now, I can't seem to help but break into tears, which embarrasses me and then prompts more tears. I know I'm over-emotional, but it's just who I am. Maybe once I know for sure if this is happening tomorrow and/or when the new surgery date will be, I can overcome all of this emotion. But in the meantime, I'm a mess. So thanks for letting me vent here!

 

[escargome]

No problem adpace. Vent all you like. Prior to my surgery I also faced the potiential of a postponement due to UTI. My surgeon said not to worry, he said they could give me antibiotics IV, if there wasn't too much bateria. So I took him at his word and my second urine test came back fine before the surgery date. I know how tired and distracted you must be feeling. But just come on here and vent. We have big shoulders and ears. Maybe by now you have your test results back and all will work out good.

 

[adpace]

Thanks for letting me vent here! They actually ended up doing the surgery on the 18th despite the fact that my urine stilled showed infection. They had told me they wouldn't do it, but they changed their minds, gave me an antibiotic to take the day before, and did the surgery. Now it's just time to recover! Things are going relatively well so far other than just fighting the pain!

 

[Garagegym]

Awesome. Hope it goes well with no bumps from here -- just onwards and upwards to getting your life back