Randy, I've done a lot of calculated risky things in my life, but I never experienced discombobulating fear until I found out I wasn't actually Superman, but only a mere mortal with a calcified aortic valve that had to be replaced. After going through a couple of hellish years, my surgery is coming up Aug. 22nd & I'm relatively relaxed now, mainly because I've educated myself as much as I could without going to med school. I have a friend from the internet who has gone through both brain surgery (a benign tumor as it turned out) & aortic valve replacement (lucky guy, huh?) & he says that his level of trepidation was ten times worse for the heart surgery. I think there is something inherently mortifying about having our body cavity split open & invaded, regardless of the intent to save our lives. What scared me the most was the thought that I might be leaving my wife & children without their rock of Gibraltar. Also, I've always been an inveterate jock & the thought--even if I survived the surgery--of being laid up for a while & having to get in shape all over again was depressing. Then there was the cost of the surgery--ai yi yi! (that still makes me cringe, but thank goodness I have insurance provided by the Blue Cross mafia).
As I said, I gradually gained a fairly articulated knowledge about the surgery, & the more I learned the better I felt mentally (even as I was feeling worse physically). Believe me when I tell you that heart surgery has become so routine (not with us, but the surgeons) that, except for the exceedingly infirm or aged, it is about as sure a bet as one could make with one's life. I know one thing: once it's over I'll feel like I just drew a royal flush! Good luck to you!
