Recovering alone

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WayneGM

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Joined
Jun 3, 2006
Messages
4,624
Location
Waterdown, Ontario Canada
Welcome to the VR Community, Paul. Glad you found us.

My wife stayed home with me for a few days after my discharge from the hospital, but I was pretty much home alone during my recovery. We just made to be organized. For example, make sure things I needed were within reach and planning meals I could easily prepare. It really wasn't too bad. However, until I could drive I had to get a lift to doctors appointments and so forth.

Best wishes and good luck.
 

Bina

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Feb 22, 2007
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12,699
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East Ontario, Canada
Rachel are you rolling your eyes at me??;) ;) :)
Those of us who go into surgery in very bad heart condition have more problems during recovery.

Strong, and otherwise healthy men just breeze through it.
 

pedimed

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Joined
Jun 18, 2006
Messages
66
Location
Boston, MA
Hi,
I too recovered on my own. I echo Rachel's suggestions.
I would avoid driving-especially if you have a standard; for at least a few weeks.

I actually flew to 2 interviews withiin teh 8weeks I was recovering; not something I would suggest doing but they went well! Smile..

People will want to help, and although it may be difficult to accept, take them up on the offer!

good luck!

Best wishes
 
S

Susan BAV

Guest
Welcome to the site, Paul; glad you found it!

Those of you who didn't need help are tough and amazing. Bravo!

We live in the boonies--literally miles from any stores--and also quite some long distance from the hospital (three hours in mostly horrendous traffic) and with not driving for eight weeks as per my surgeon and being rehospitalized for one fairly common post-op issue, I needed some help for a couple of weeks--not to mention the wildfire chaos and evacuation that roared through here two weeks post-op. I also found that having someone at least nearby was a big morale booster because a person can have some low morale issues early on also. (That said, I had to stick a note on my door to cut down on all the visitors.)

Hope all goes well for you Paul. Take care and post again.
 

VikiVix

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Joined
Aug 2, 2007
Messages
121
Location
Ben Lomond, CA
Recovered alone

Recovered alone

Hi Paul
I had my son staying with me the first month but after that I too was on my own. It was scarey but I was very careful about everything including showering, standing doing dishes, etc. etc.
The fears passed slowly, the loneliness wasn't fun but I managed as time passed.
I'm a single gramma and was living alone with my cat at the time in a small studio apartment. I now rent a room in a house with a couple in their 50's so I feel more secure.
Feel free to keep in touch with anything concerning this, and know that this website really helps a lot.
Viki
 

Bina

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Joined
Feb 22, 2007
Messages
12,699
Location
East Ontario, Canada
Rachel, no offense taken.:) I agree that alot of "stuff" is not really necessary, we all make do with what we have. I personally found recliners to be very difficult. Maybe I'm just too small for them... I preferred to either lay down or sit up straight, nothing in between worked. We survive!!
 
G

Guest

Guest
rachel_howell said:
What I mentally roll my eyes at is the whole notion that you HAVE to have certain things in order to recover
AMEN!

Rachel ... glad someone else feels similar to how I do about this.

*sighs*

I believe I mentioned it to Ann, during our visit while I was on my road trip a few weeks ago now, that I get so frustrated with people posting how important it is to have a significant other (wife/gf/husband/bf, whatever) to help you through the entire process/difficult times. Well, some of us aren't so lucky....

*grumbles*

And, yes, I know ... I sound disastrously bitter, but I promise you, I'm not. I'm just tired of society, in general, treating singles like dirt.

*rolls eyes*

Course, to that end, I've been told I just need sex. And, oh how I love it when someone says that to me ... and then doesn't have any idea of a female who might be able AND willing to help me out on that stage...he heh.

Irony rocks.



Cort:34swm."Mr Monte Carlo.Mr Road Trip".pig valve.pacemaker
WRMNshowcase.lego.HO.model.MCs.RT.CHD = http://www.chevyasylum.com/cort
"Your friends have shown a kink in the single life" ... The Raconteurs ... 'Steady As She Goes'
 

perkicar

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Joined
Dec 1, 2004
Messages
628
Location
Columbus, OH
I stayed with my brother and wife after I got sprung 8 days post op. I ended up back in the hospital a week later with a pericardial effusion, but considering I felt pretty crappy I can actually say I didn't mind going back. After I came back to Louisville, I had 2 friends and a niece stay with me over the next three weeks, mostly until I was allowed to drive again. It was nice having the company but quite honestly, I did much better after I was back on my own and had to be self sufficient. It's nice to have someone wait on you, but I was alot more active after I had to be!
I have a mechanical valve and while I hear it clicking, it has never bothered me. The funniest thing happened when I was getting a massage a year or so ago--it was with a student and there was a lull in the music. She was working up by my head, so could hear the ticking when it was quiet. She asked what the sound was and when I told her it was my heart, she got a little flustered!
Good luck to you and let us know how things work out.

Carolyn
 

carolinemc

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Joined
May 31, 2010
Messages
717
Location
kansas city, mo
I am single my whole life, 56 hate it
I am 54 and had double bypass at 38, recovered on my own and was happy I was alone. I get grouchy when people are around. I have always been this way for many years. When you have your bad days, you do not want anyone around. Newwarrior, you can do this by yourself. go on walks, get out and about. You do not have to stay indoors during recovery. What did you do before surgery? Try to slowly go back to that activity or more. You will be fine. I did it, a lot of us did it, and so can you. And I love being single female. No one to tell me what to do, no kids to worry about, and no husband to hover over me. Single life is not bad. You just need to get out and meet people. You can have a female friend. You can have girlfriends. You do not have to be married. Get out. Have fun.
 

newarrior

Have mild AS live in Thailand
Joined
Jun 29, 2019
Messages
27
Location
Bangkok, Thailand
I am 54 and had double bypass at 38, recovered on my own and was happy I was alone. I get grouchy when people are around. I have always been this way for many years. When you have your bad days, you do not want anyone around. Newwarrior, you can do this by yourself. go on walks, get out and about. You do not have to stay indoors during recovery. What did you do before surgery? Try to slowly go back to that activity or more. You will be fine. I did it, a lot of us did it, and so can you. And I love being single female. No one to tell me what to do, no kids to worry about, and no husband to hover over me. Single life is not bad. You just need to get out and meet people. You can have a female friend. You can have girlfriends. You do not have to be married. Get out. Have fun.
I never had surgery ...surgery it's probably years away I just meant I've been a lonely and lonely and single most of my life and I hate it... I don't know how to get a girlfriend I barely even know how to get on a date on 56 never married no kids only had two girlfriends my entire life I don't understand anything about women at all it's too painful to try to chase them I had no luck with women my entire life the rejection Hurts The Suffering hurts it hurts so much but being alone hurts too but I don't have a faintest idea how to meet girls or how to get a girlfriend in Clueless I'm just so lonely
 

carolinemc

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Joined
May 31, 2010
Messages
717
Location
kansas city, mo
I never had surgery ...surgery it's probably years away I just meant I've been a lonely and lonely and single most of my life and I hate it... I don't know how to get a girlfriend I barely even know how to get on a date on 56 never married no kids only had two girlfriends my entire life I don't understand anything about women at all it's too painful to try to chase them I had no luck with women my entire life the rejection Hurts The Suffering hurts it hurts so much but being alone hurts too but I don't have a faintest idea how to meet girls or how to get a girlfriend in Clueless I'm just so lonely
Don't hate being alone all the time, try for a small part of the time. I have a pet, a dog, from a rescue, named Dixie. We rescued each other. I feel you might get a pet, emotional support(does not have to be trained). Mine is very supportive all the time. She has cataracts and I cannot afford the surgery for her. But she will eventually go blind and she lean on me and will adapt as many dogs have.
I never let not having a man, get me down. I don't hate men, just haven't met the right one. I have abused by a close relation years as a young girl, left its mark, but I moved on. Do not worry about having a woman, for there is one that you will someday meet, just not yet.
Do not hate life due to that being alone. It does have advantages, like not a nagging wife bugging you everyday to do something around the house. Or wants to snuggle all the time. Or wants to be nosy. And no kids. LOL!
I just grin and bare it everyday in my loneliness. You can't miss what you do not have. True words of wisdom. Not everyone is meant to marry, you can have a female friend. Nothing wrong with that. I have a few male friends, nothing intimate, just friends. Just stop pressuring yourself in wife hunting. You have nothing to prove to anyone. Just relax and enjoy life. I am. Hugs for today. 😎
 

Duffey

Me and Granbon
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Sep 29, 2004
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Far side of the moon
@newarrior, is there an opportunity in Thailand to do some volunteer work? Volunteering gives you a chance to think about things other than your problems, lets you meet new people, and is generally considered an attractive attribute by others.
 

Carnelian

Active member
Joined
Jul 29, 2017
Messages
34
Location
midwest US
I never had surgery ...surgery it's probably years away I just meant I've been a lonely and lonely and single most of my life and I hate it... I don't know how to get a girlfriend I barely even know how to get on a date on 56 never married no kids only had two girlfriends my entire life I don't understand anything about women at all it's too painful to try to chase them I had no luck with women my entire life the rejection Hurts The Suffering hurts it hurts so much but being alone hurts too but I don't have a faintest idea how to meet girls or how to get a girlfriend in Clueless I'm just so lonely
I am over 70, never married and alone. I hate to say, but it doesn't get better over time.
You get used to it but it worries me. Gave up getting dates long long ago. You may try LoveShack forum
 

Carnelian

Active member
Joined
Jul 29, 2017
Messages
34
Location
midwest US
I have been reading through many of your posts and have found it very informative.
I tried to do a search in the post surgery forums to see if anyone had recovered on thier own but I didnt find much.

So I guess what im asking is .... Has any one recovered from aortic valve replacment on thier own?

It sounds like most people have others to tend to thier needs, im sure this isnt the case for all members.

Any info would be nice..

Thanks in advance.... Paul:rolleyes:
Paul,
I had a double bipass and mitral valve surgery almost 2 years ago and recovered on my own.
A phebotmist came once a week for my warfarin needs. OT came twice. I have NO family and my lone sister never called or came over after 2 weeks. I was scared at night but I am fine now. Lucky me. Follow all their instructions to the letter, take all your meds exactly
as they say. Avoid lifting anything over 9-10 lbs and use your walker. AFter 2 months you can drive. Keep busy with reading, jigsaw puzzles or whatever. You will feel some chest discomfort probably, but my nurses told me that was normal. Take Tylenol or hydrocone (that gives one constipation though.) After a few weeks I enjoyed staying home. no friends came over. Worse than after my cancer surgery 13 years earlier. Return to the hospital only if something badly unexpected happens, such as difficult breathing. Don't chance it! Good luck.
 

rich01

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Joined
Aug 23, 2018
Messages
120
Location
Virginia US
Thanks for reviving this old thread. Being single and in a city where I know just a couple of neighbors, I worried about this.

I'm looking at aortic valve replacement in the not too distant future. I have a sister who will come and stay with me for a few days if necessary, but she lives 5 hours away and has her own life to live.

I am hoping to have TAVR which should make my recovery much faster. Right now my best option is to have my neighbor take me to hospital and then pick me up the next day. Then schedule for my sister to be here for 2 or 3 days. My neighbor said he and his son could look in on me every day, so might not even need to have my sister come. Then my neighbor will take me back for follow-up with cardiologist. Hopefully I will be able to resume driving a week after TAVR.

I have no plan if I have to have SAVR.
 

LondonAndy

VR.org Supporter
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Aug 1, 2015
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London, UK
Although I was in hospital for a total of 25 days as, not only was I am emergency admission but due to surgical complication, I needed a pacemaker too, my recovery went very smoothly. I am single and live in a flat on the first floor of a house (for Americans: an apartment on the second floor!). A friend met me at the hospital, brought me home and stayed with me for the first few days to make sure I didn't reach up to kitchen cupboards on autopilot, or lift a heavy weight. I was grateful for the help, and of course the company at times, but I am not sure it was necessary. A lot depends on how recovery goes of course, and things like access to food supplies, and I was fortunate to have an electric recliner for sleeping during recovery.
 

jlcsn2015

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Joined
Sep 21, 2015
Messages
49
Location
Toronto
Thanks for reviving this old thread. Being single and in a city where I know just a couple of neighbors, I worried about this.

I'm looking at aortic valve replacement in the not too distant future. I have a sister who will come and stay with me for a few days if necessary, but she lives 5 hours away and has her own life to live.

I am hoping to have TAVR which should make my recovery much faster. Right now my best option is to have my neighbor take me to hospital and then pick me up the next day. Then schedule for my sister to be here for 2 or 3 days. My neighbor said he and his son could look in on me every day, so might not even need to have my sister come. Then my neighbor will take me back for follow-up with cardiologist. Hopefully I will be able to resume driving a week after TAVR.

I have no plan if I have to have SAVR.
Hi, TAVR..., the surgeons will only do that if you are above certain age, check before you plan , in my experience talking to Surgeons, if you are 65 or less TAVR is not an option, if you are alone you will need help for a week or less with house keeping things, maybe pre cook some meals before you go in; once they send you home for me the most difficult part was take the required pills as prescribed and on time, had to take like 7 twice a day, "in my case", also i got a cane not so much for support as for giving a visual message to people around me that there was something wrong with me, where i live people walk very carelessly around others, just a thought, wish you all the best
 

rich01

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Joined
Aug 23, 2018
Messages
120
Location
Virginia US
Hi, TAVR..., the surgeons will only do that if you are above certain age, check before you plan , in my experience talking to Surgeons, if you are 65 or less TAVR is not an option, ...
I am 70, but in US Medicare will not pay for low risk patients to have TAVR. I am a candidate for a TAVR trial, as that seems to be the only way I can have it. Certainly don't have Mick Jagger type money to pay out-of-pocket.
 
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