I will definitely check it out thank youHands down, I would recommend Brazilian Jiu Jitsu. It does not involve striking, so you should be able to train sensibly and develop good self defense. It involves leverage, chokes, and joint locks.
I started training in 1994 under the legendary Royce Gracie. You probably are aware of the UFC. Royce won 3 out of the first 4 UFC events and that was back when it was tournament style when he had to beat 3-4 opponents in one night. Full street fighting style, with very few rules, other than no biting. Almost anything goes. He defeated all of his opponents without throwing any strikes in most of his fights- just took them to the mat and submitted them with chokes and joint locks, despite being much smaller than almost all of his opponents. It changed the martial arts world. Now, all fighters in the MMA world train in BJJ as a core aspect of their fighting style, regardless of their background.
Here is a Brazilian Jiu Jitsu documentary that is well worth the watch and will give you an idea of why it works and how effective it was. There is a guy from my academy in the video- Richard. He talks about the Gracie challenge. This was something they did in the old days, before the UFC really took off. They had an open challenge to any fighter in the world, that they could come to the academy and try their style against BJJ in a "no holds barred" fight. I was there for much of this time and witnessed some of the fights he speaks of. They never lost. Not a single time. We had fighters from every style of martial art you can think if come in and try their style. They would always get taken to the mat and submitted. It would be a different outcome today, as the world has now discovered BJJ and millions train in it. But, back then, no one had any idea which martial art was truly superior.
ROLL: Jiu-Jitsu in SoCal
Here is a documentary about my mentor and first teacher, Royce Gracie:
I would also recommend training in Muay Thai kickboxing, but just on the pads- don't do the actual sparring, as you do not want to be taking punches and kicks, just learn how to throw them. Muay Thai and BJJ is a lethal combination.