My Mother died 2 weeks after valve replacement/bypass surgery

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My mother was coughing for the past one year. We did several tests, went to pulmonologist, did CT scans, Chest X-Ray, etc. They said that she has an Interstitial Lung disease. They were not able to narrow down the problem. So, they never gave any medication. Last November, They did an echocardiogram and found out that here Aortic valve was very narrow and she had aortic stenosis and her valve had to be replaced immediately. They did a cardiac cath and confirmed that the valve was very narrow and it was important to do the surgery ASAP. Later that week, Pulmonologist calls and says that she has Pulmonary Edema. Since the valve was narrow, the fluids were going to her lungs and causing her to cough. My mother did not have any symptoms other that coughing. She walks regularly every day, no blood pressure, no sugar and all her vitals were normal.

The cardiologists and the thoracic surgeons team also found that they she had a blockage in the artery and recommended a bypass to be done along with the valve replacement. We asked them the level of risk. They said the risk is 1-2% and that she will have a very good quality of life after the surgery as she was otherwise a healthy person with no symptoms. We were really convinced. Although my mother was not fully convinced for the surgery as she felt perfectly fine except for the cough and she didn't feel any symptoms.

The surgery was scheduled 3 weeks later on the 3rd week of December. The surgery was 10-10 1/2 hours long. She had bleeding during the surgery and they had to do a blood transfusion. Surgeons said that everything went ok. She woke up the next day in SICU with a change in her voice. She spoke to the family, but still under partial sedation. She had trouble swallowing the food because of the tube that was in her throat during the surgery. She was in SICU for 7 days. They kept the chest tubes and all the other tubes, for 3-4 days to drain the fluids from the lungs. They gave her lasix, hydro codine for the pain and several other medications including aspiring lipitor, insulin, metoprolol etc in the hospital.

My mother was not able to sleep properly in the SICU as she was coughing and it was really hurting to cough. She was tired and weak. The doctors insisted that she was progressing and she was getting better. They said that the pain would get better in 4-6 weeks. She was able to walk although she had a tough time breathing after a couple of steps. Nurses said she was strong and she was progressing.


After 7 days she was shifted to Progressive care unit(PCU) on the 7th night. She was still not able to sleep properly and was in pain. Hydro codine relieved her pain. But, she insisted that she still had discomfort. Surgeons said that she will be fine in 2-3 weeks. She was in PCU for 2-3 days and was discharged. She came home, She slept in a recliner chair, tried to sleep had partial sleep. Was able to take shower with help, walked for 5 mins 2 times a day, Seemed like she was progressing. On the 3rd day at home she had dinner at 8 pm. After dinner, she walked to recliner chair and sat and she said she was shivering. We put blankets on her, turned on the heat and for 5-7 mins she was shivering. We were thinking of calling 911, She said she was ok and needed 5 mins. We had called 911 by then. Suddenly, she started breathing heavily and she was having a tough time breathing, and in 2 mins she stopped breathing. Her heart was not beating and there was no pulse. In 2-3 mins paramedics arrived were trying to revive her, took her to ER and tried for 45 mins and they said they could not revive her and she was dead.

I am so shocked and not able to accept her death. I don't have answers to what happened in the last 5 mins. Doctor in the ER said, she might have had arrhythmia. But nobody is sure as to what exactly happened. Seemed like she was recovering, was able to have a shower, walk, eat on her own.

This is not an unusual surgery and it's been performed on so many millions of people over so many decades. The risk was 1-2% according to the surgeons. Why did it fail on my mother. It's been more than 2 weeks since she passed away, i am still in shock and not able to accept it. Can somebody please tell me if this has happened to anybody in their family. Please help.
 
I am so sorry to read your post. I do not know what to say. Heart surgery is often doen these days but it is still very major surgery. The way you describe your mother's slow recovery in hospital and the relatively long time in ICU doesn't sound "normal" even if the medical staff said she was "progressing". Usually when a person dies so soon after major surgery there should be an inquest with a coroner's report (at least in the UK that would be the case). I hope you can get some answers as to why she died as that will help you with your shock and bereavement - I cannot think the hospital are leaving things without looking for answers themselves. Again I am so sorry this has happened.
 
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I too am sorry for your loss, and cannot provide any direct help. You are right to seek answers, and it is hard to say this: but do also consider the condition that she was in before the surgery, and how long she might have lived without the surgery. I do not know the answer, but it sounds like she was in quite a bad situation before the surgery, even though her symptoms were not too bad. I had a severely blocked aortic valve too, and only had any symptoms a few months before. When the surgeon removed my blocked valve he told me it looked white in colour because it was so severely calcified, and if I had not had it replaced I know I would not have lived long. My thoughts are with you.
 
I am so sorry your mother died. I know you are thinking “what if?” about the diagnosis and surgery. Actor Bill Paxton died last year when he had a stroke after valve replacement surgery. Why him and your mom and not others? I can’t answer that. Based on what you’ve written, your mother had serious medical issues and may not have lived long without the surgery. You and your family clearly did all you could to help her before and after surgery. Sometimes, despite best efforts, people die. My husband died suddenly at age 49 and we don’t really know what killed him, though he had heart issues all his life. Another member, pellicle, lost his young wife to brain cancer. Both of us still feel the loss. i share this so you know that others experience grief, and have the same questions regarding why are loved ones had to die.

Again, I am so sorry for your loss.
 
Thank you all for your responses. Right now, i am going through "what if", guilt, regret and several emotions regarding my mother. Since she was very active before the surgery except for the cough, it is very difficult to accept that she passed away right after the surgery and if not for the surgery she might have lived. I understand that with Aortic stenosis symptoms might occur all of a sudden which might be life threatening. It's not even been 3 weeks, and I am still in shock that she is not there. As honeybunny mentioned, everybody who experiences this kind of grief will have the same kind of questions for their loved ones and i am going thru that now.
 
I am so sorry for what you are going through also. My mom passed many years ago and I miss her every day :(

I had quite an experience with my first valve and could not make any of my own decisions as I was on life support. My poor kids were scared beyond words. One of my sons dropped down and passed out seeing me even. I was in my mid 50's and had no idea what was going on until I went down. I guess what I am getting at is that things sometimes happen and some we have no control over. You made the right decision at that time due to the circumstances. My family chose a pig valve for me knowing it would last a long time (so they thought) I had to have my second valve done last year and I have had several unrelated health problems since. I remain thankful but also know that at any time it can be the end.

If you have a higher power, lean on it at this time to give you strength as you face the days ahead. Try to move that guilt and regret a bit further down on your priority list of feelings as you did the best you could with the information given to you. I am very sorry for you and your family
 
I am truly sorry for your loss. I can only imagine the shock of losing your mother. Others have provided some wonderful insight to these difficult circumstances.
My sister in law lost her father to what was supposed to be a 'routine bypass surgery'. It came as a shock to the family. It is normal to go through the 'what ifs'.
Thinking of you,
Wishing you peace, healing and strength.
 
Hi Veena

I'm sorry to hear you lost your mother under such difficult circumstances.
veena2018;n881299 said:
Thank you all for your responses. Right now, i am going through "what if", guilt, regret and several emotions regarding my mother.

I believe I know that feeling well. When Anita passed from (what was at that time an undiagnosed brain tumor) I was doing exactly that. Did this have an effect, did us doing that contribute to it, did us moving to Australia have an influence, was it mobile phones ... It took some months of searching down every lead before I stopped trying to find myself to blame for this. I can only assume its worse when you seemed to be an active hand in it (should I have let her have the surgery ...)

I don't see the point of going into the pariculars (again) about my wifes condition, but I will say that the neurosurgeon who did the final operation on her (before she was declared dead) said to me (when I conjectured about how in hindsight the symptoms were there) that "if anyone had found this cancer earlier we would just be having this conversation 3 months from now" (I found that was about the median time for survival).

Grasping and coping with the death of someone who was dear to us and a deep part of our lives is hard. As is moving on with life. I can say that for myself even phrases like "moving on" were vexing to hear for the first few years (its been nearly 7 now).

We all walk a different road in grief and so each can only help the others on the road a little. I see some very good and compassionate advice above. In fact I hesitated to write anything before as I was just lost as to what to offer.


As honeybunny mentioned, everybody who experiences this kind of grief will have the same kind of questions for their loved ones and i am going thru that now.

I understand ... if you wish to discuss "the road" with a fellow traveller then please feel free to message me and we can perhaps chat via some method or other.

My Best Wishes to you and your family in this time.
 
Her story sounds like my experience...but I am all right now 3 and half months later. I had much difficulty
breathing to for weeks. How old was she?
I hope you have some answers by now. There's a grief discussion board I used you could try.
 
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