Must-do suggestions before surgery? Even if they're scary ...

Valve Replacement Forums

Help Support Valve Replacement Forums:

This site may earn a commission from merchant affiliate links, including eBay, Amazon, and others.

Allisoninoz

Well-known member
Joined
Apr 8, 2010
Messages
235
Location
Melbourne, Australia
Ok, I'm coming to terms with the fact I'm having OHS on February 22 so my aortic valve can be replaced and my clever surgeon can do something about the very recently discovered fact that I'm missing my right coronary artery.
I'm calmer than I was a week ago so that's a good sign. Although I think about it A LOT I'm not teary all the time now. And I'm telling people as I see them and am buoyed by the number of people who offer to help.
I'm not trying to be negative, but I am wondering about the types of serious - or not so serious - decisions/actions others made before surgery? Yes, the big ones. Did you write letters to loved ones? Did you ensure your will was right? Did you make any documents regarding what should be done in case of brain-death etc?
And if you did make some of those decisions, did it make you feel better or worse pre-surgery?
Thanks...
 
The GOOD NEWS is that Hearts are Very Fixable these days.

On the positive side, the Success Rate for Heart Surgery is extremely High as it has become a finely developed art. In the USA, first time risks for patients under age 60 are 1% morbidity and 1% mortality versus almost certain demise in a few years if left untreated.

That said, "getting your affairs in order" is not a bad idea, even if it means facing your mortality and thinking about some gruesome possibilities. Just 'get it done' and then think about what you want to do with the rest of your life. (Your life expectancy after surgery will very likely be much improved over the option of doing nothing, and very possibly every bit as long as it would have been if you had NOT developed a heart problem.)

Feel Free to ask ANY Questions that come to mind as you progress in this journey.
Chances are pretty good that someone has already dealt with whatever you may want to know and can share their experience / knowledge.

'AL Capshaw'
 
I am embarassed to say: No, my will was not right, No, I did not write letters. I wnet with the attitude that I would live. Yes, I should have do those things. I did think about it. Mainly, I made sure I have a living will and my wife had power of attorney.

These are documents that we should all have in place with or without surgery.

I did get some work done around the house! In otherwords, I worried more about the things I would have trouble doing while recovering.

5 months post-op today!
Scott
 
The thing I was most concerned to do was have a Medical Power of Attorney and DNR directive drawn up. I wanted to be sure there would be no question my DH and designated back up person would have the power to make medical decisions for me in the event I was unable to do so myself.

I did have sincere, serious talk with a few people in my life to be sure they knew how much I love them.

Other than that...... I went forward fully expecting I'd be fine and all would go well and it did (both times). :) Though, of course, anxious and tense, I never really believed I'd have less than fully successful surgery and recovery. Attitude does matter IMO
 
Hi Allisoninoz,

Before my surgery I wrote up a quick will and several other documents that gave certain loved ones legal authority to make medical and monetary decisions for me if I became incapacitated. I also wrote a note in a sealed letter in my desk that had important information like bank accounts, mutual funds accounts, and passwords. I also organized work stuff.

As opposed to finding that gruesome or negative, I found that having those things in order made me feel much better and relaxed. It also gave me something to do that took my mind off my surgery. I've always felt it was a gift that we face our own mortality. It puts life in perspective. That said, heart surgery has a very high success rate and I think you will do just fine.
Best,
John
 
Will
Living Will
Medical Power of Attorney

I saw no need to further unsettle friends and relatives with any thing more in advance of my demise, so no letters from me. But perhaps there is some special instruction or communication that you might want to prepare.
 
Allison, As the others have said, making or updating your will is a prudent thing to do although your risk during surgery is so low that it unlikely to be needed for a long time. It is also only prudent to prepare a living will or as some call it a medical directive appointing a medical executor and specifying your desires in the event circumstances leave you unable to make your own decisions. Again, as Al has told you, the probability such a document will be used is extremely small but it is one thing you can do to help ease the minds of your friends and family. Instead of writing letters, I made it a point to tell those close to me how I felt about them. Why keep it a secret?

For years, I had thought about making a will but I never had. I found after the will and medical directive were in place that I felt relieved of one burden and could move on to other things. You mentioned that you have been telling your friends and family about what is happening. I think that is a very good thing to do because it is the first step in building a support group for your recovery. My experience was that I needed little help at home but since I couldn't drive during those first weeks it was just nice to have someone come by for a chat or give me a ride. After the first couple of weeks, friends took me to dinner every few days and drove me out for a little shopping, a trip to the barber shop or to one of the parks to walk with some different scenery. When your friends offer to do something, let them help keep you connected. It is one of the ways you start feeling as though your life is getting back on track.

You are on the right track in wondering about some these concerns. Get them out of the way so you can start focusing on planning your recovery which is far more important.

Larry
 
Last edited:
I'll have to confess that I didn't deal with any of that stuff, even though I know that I should have. Being relatively young and otherwise healthy I figured it wasn't too big a deal, and I happened to know that Canadian intestacy laws (regarding the distribution of assets when the deceased has no will) would direct my affairs pretty much as I would have anyway.

What I did do though, was contact and meet my natural mother all the way in Amsterdam (I was adopted at birth in Canada), visit the Grand Canyon on a drive from California to Toronto, see a blues band in Memphis, ride a motorcycle VERY fast, and ask my (now) wife to marry me at her birthday party in her parent's home in Transylvania. I was careful not to set a date, until after I figured I was out of the woods! When you really ask yourself what is it you would do if you only had a short time left, there must be a few things on the list. It makes a good excuse if nothing else.

Paul
 
I updated my living will and medical power of attorney. Not being a family that shares words easily, I also wrote letters to both of my children and my husband. Now I'm unsure what to do with those letters. Do I just keep them in the hidden place or destroy them? So far I've kept them.
 
I'll have to confess that I didn't deal with any of that stuff, even though I know that I should have. Being relatively young and otherwise healthy I figured it wasn't too big a deal, and I happened to know that Canadian intestacy laws (regarding the distribution of assets when the deceased has no will) would direct my affairs pretty much as I would have anyway.

What I did do though, was contact and meet my natural mother all the way in Amsterdam (I was adopted at birth in Canada), visit the Grand Canyon on a drive from California to Toronto, see a blues band in Memphis, ride a motorcycle VERY fast, and ask my (now) wife to marry me at her birthday party in her parent's home in Transylvania. I was careful not to set a date, until after I figured I was out of the woods! When you really ask yourself what is it you would do if you only had a short time left, there must be a few things on the list. It makes a good excuse if nothing else.

Paul
PAUL did you join the actors union ACTRA ?????
After all that was an intimate scene http://www.valvereplacement.org/forums/showthread.php?36963-A-neat-little-documentary&p=480256#post480256

Allison, you have recieved many great answers a combination of which you may want to use in conjunction with the many board stickies to prepare a checklist
 
I wrote down my bank account numbers, email/forum login names, and hints at my passwords - not because I expected anyone else to need this info, but because I wasn't sure if I'd remember them with this 'cognitive dysfunction' I'd been warned about! Turns out I remembered everything pre-op just fine, it was the post-op short term memory loss that caused problems. :)
 
Did not do any of those things because I went in hospital unexpectedly and had my surgery without coming out again. However, I have done some of those things since...made a living will and let my wishes be known. Everyone needs to do this, surgery or not.

Mileena
 
I pretty much did what Tommy did ... Will, Living Will, Medical Power of Attorney ... I also made a list for my wife of people that she might need if I were not able to take care of things ... things like the plumber, heat and air guy, the guy to take the car to ... all the things she never had to deal with ... and hey, nearly five years later she still does not have to concern herself because I'm still here and you will be too ... I had my surgery on 2-21-2006 ... and remember February is Heart Month :thumbup: ... you will be fine!
 
Ditto Tommy except I did write letters. They were "only if something happens to me" letters, 4 of them... husband and 3, 20-something children. They are still in the same big envelope beneath my little jewelry drawer in my dresser; unopened and unaltered. I probably should write new ones to add to those as almost 5 years have gone by. I feel good having them there. I tell each person exactly what they mean to me. I think that is important. Don't you think it would be nice to have a private note from someone who loved you very much who is no longer walking on this earth with you? Yeh. So, really... the notes are important. The legal papers are essential. Get those done now.

What I did not do was tell much of anyone beyond my family that my surgery was happening, or that I even had a physical need like that. My husband did a lot of blabbing which turned out to be very beneficial for him since he needed the support -- it was scary for him, I think. And he's also very proud of me for going through it with grace. For me, it was a private thing for some reason. Each to his own on that one.

Best wishes.

Marguerite
 
I gave my friend Daryl, who is the executor of my will, a list of accounts that will need to be canceled in the event of my death. Not a complete list, but ones that might be overlooked -- especially online ones, such as my subscription to MLB.TV which is only billed once a year.

If you have a lot of online accounts you might want to consider giving such a list to the executor of your will or other responsible person!

Edward aka "Zoom"
 
What I did was write a letter to my husband and gave it to my best friend to give it to him if necessary. It was just a sappy letter and I did include my wishes if I were to be on life support. I made sure to tell everyone I love that I loved them. But you will most likely be fine and wish you got a hair cut, shaved your legs, and clipped your nails more recently than you have. Thats how I felt anyways. Oh buy some dry shampoo as well and bring it to the hospital with you. If you are an anxious person you may want to talk to your doctor or a therapist for strategies to get you through the days leading up to surgery.
 
By all means, do all of the above, but do it all with a smile, knowing you'll be home in no time. Consider it that "weird missing week" from your life.

HOWEVER - DO prepare yourself for what I found to be a real bummer -- the phenomenon they call "Pump Head"... goofed up mental processes due to my 6 hours on the heart/lung machine and all that anesthesia juice. (Research it, Google it, and ask your docs about it.) It affects everyone differently, but for me, it was a reduced ability to reason, cognitive, comprehension, deleted memory files, and utter short term memory dysfunction. It took me a full year to get back to almost normal... almost. (It's a great excuse on which to blame stuff.) If I had to do it again, I'd warn my family, friends, and peers in advance that I'm going to be really stoopid and cluttered for then next six months.
 

Latest posts

Back
Top