Looking for words of support (new post)

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dornole

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Joined
Jan 5, 2014
Messages
636
Location
Minnesota, US
What an ugly and sad end. She sounds like a case study from The Sociopath Next Door. It might actually be easier to get through heart surgery alone than with her. Maybe it'll be easier to get through med school and residency without a relationship at all, let alone this painful one.I hope you have other family or friends who can be relied upon. And when the time is right, I bet you will be an excellent and loyal husband to someone who has the capacity to love others.
 

cldlhd

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Joined
Apr 9, 2014
Messages
1,276
Location
Levittown ,Pa 19054
Wow, must be a theme this week. A good buddy of mine had a long ongoing thing with a woman at work who was in the process of 'leaving her husband' for years . She finally left him but then strangely she stopped showing much interest in him, suddenly she tells him she's pregnant by another guy. His male ego is bruised but I told him he should put that guy on his Christmas card list. She's 10 years older than him with a ,42, with a 22 year old albatross of a son. Not the same situation but you and him are better off even if it doesn't seem that way.
On a side note the airport scene in 12 Monkeys was actually filmed in the Pennsylvania Convention Center in Philadelphia. I look my son to the auto show there about 2 months ago- fun fact.
 

lifesaverDO

Member
Joined
Mar 6, 2017
Messages
14
Location
Washington DC
ClickityClack;n875358 said:
lifesaverDO You dodged a bullet with the ex. It would've been nastier and more painful if you'd been married and/or had kids. And don't think of it as time wasted. If nothing else, now you have a better sense of when to run from the crazy.

I know how you feel about the surgery; I'm about 3 weeks behind your timeline. It's hard to imagine being in a more vulnerable, helpless position. But thousands upon thousands of people, many in much worse shape than you, have made it through this. You'll make it too and your life will be better and longer for it. I know it's terrifying but sometimes going with flow is the only thing, and the best thing, that you can do.

I wish you the best.
ha! You don't know the half of it. I had gotten her a ring for our engagement. She wanted to return it, in fact I didn't. I got her a new one something she loved, so yes two rings! But in a later fight she called the first one a POS.

I do have family, a great support system, classmates, and of course you wonderful people. I think I am just heart broken she's not around to be here.
 

jwinter

Well-known member
Joined
Oct 7, 2016
Messages
320
Location
US
And who(not the ring) is the POS?! Sorry, I couldn't help myself.

I am sorry you had this fire to go through. Now it is time for YOU. This is all about YOU. Be very good to yourself and try to put all else aside right now. You are going to do great through the surgery and will be given another chance at life, a very good life that we all know should not be taken for granted. Best wishes now and do let us know how it goes. We care.

One more thing............KARMA!
 

lifesaverDO

Member
Joined
Mar 6, 2017
Messages
14
Location
Washington DC
Agian;n875395 said:
Tell it like it is.

20 bucks says people warned him.
As much as I hate to say it, I kept my love life very private. There were issues I wasn't comfy with. If anything I was open about my love for her, writing poems and being affectionate for how lucky I am. I never let the world know the fire I was in. It wasn't until later I found out, she was telling her parents and siblings a lot of dirt, only then did I tell my friends and family.

And yes, you are right, they were very upset with me because and said had we known earlier, we would have made sure she was not going to be in your life.
 

Nocturne

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Joined
Feb 29, 2016
Messages
484
Location
Rhode Island
pellicle;n875331 said:
My musical taste is eclectic but eccentric :)
[ link ]

Swordfish trombone is a classic piece of art.

One of his on Fight Club and Twelve Monkies too
OMG I *love* Tom Waits! Got me through some tough times when I got divorced. Alone and rocking my first baby to "Picture in a Frame", and later dancing around the room with him as a toddler to "Jockey Full of Bourbon."

Excellent taste, Pellicle. I can't choose just one song to recommend, but "Nirvana" is one of the special ones to me because it reminds me of my early relationship with my fiancee, fifteen years ago, and how even though I could see something special I still came very close to (metaphorically) getting back on that bus and moving on. Thank God, *I* ended up staying in the diner -- and I've never regretted it, not once!
 

David W

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Joined
Aug 19, 2015
Messages
99
Location
London
I'm sure that it hurt you and still hurts and it (will) ease over time. Who knows what her reasons are? But life's to short mate to give yourself over to too much headspace for a girl who didn't deserve you....
 

Nocturne

Well-known member
Joined
Feb 29, 2016
Messages
484
Location
Rhode Island
To the OP -- yeah, I wasted way too many years agonizing over a woman who was just not worth it. I know it won't really help you in the here and now, but in a way she is doing you a favor -- she would have bugged out sooner or later, this saves you the trouble of dealing with it after you'd had kids.

There are other, better women out there -- you will find one if you don't give up.
 

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