Is this corny?

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meganmitch

Active member
Joined
Sep 8, 2010
Messages
27
Location
fort worth texas
I want to support my husband in everyway i can. Other than moral support, i was thinking about making a t-shirt to wear the day of surgery, that in some way says something in his support. Is this silly?
 
Do you mean to wear when you go with him to the hospital? He might not be in a 'playful' mood. It's serious business and you might want to think about a t-shirt that welcomes him home after the surgery is over. Of course, you know your DH and I don't but the sweetness of it might have not registered with me that morning where it took every ounce of strength to drag myself through those doors knowing what I was facing.

But that's just me.
 
Yeah, your right that may not be such a good idea. I just want to be there for him and this whole experience so far has not turned out the way i would have imagined it. Since we found out he needed heart surgery, he doest seem to be bothered by it or show any emotions towards it. I guess im trying to come up with ways to let him know im there without actually having to say it anymore, i think he may just deal with it in a way that i dont understand which is fine. Thanks for your advice.
 
When he gets home it will be like having an infant around. If this surgery has done anything it has shown me that I can rely on my husband for anything. You'll show him how much you care just by the extent you will need to help him. I had to have my husband wash my hair for weeks after my surgery. I need him to help me with sport bras, draining pasta, driving me out of town, and wash my back still and I'm 9 weeks out.
 
When he gets home it will be like having an infant around. If this surgery has done anything it has shown me that I can rely on my husband for anything. You'll show him how much you care just by the extent you will need to help him. I had to have my husband wash my hair for weeks after my surgery. I need him to help me with sport bras, draining pasta, driving me out of town, and wash my back still and I'm 9 weeks out.

I just wanted to share with you that this wasn't my experience at all and I am almost twice her age and it was my second surgery. I was able to shower myself while I was still in the hospital (although VERY slowly!) and continued that once I got home, and was pretty much doing "normal" things for myself from the start. My husband stayed home with me for that first week home (which was actually like 2.5 weeks post op), but after that, I was fine with him going back to work and I think he was ready to as well. By that point, I was putting a few dishes in the dishwasher, folding a few clothes, making myself a sandwich for lunch, still napping off and on throughout the day, and generally starting to feel much stronger and better.

Everyone is different and you'll never know how your husband will do until it's all over, but I bet you'll be surprised. I'm sure he is very thankful for all of your support.
 
My husband, though he is the worrying type, was calm and acted very normal on the morning of my surgery. Just asking me if I was feeling OK and ready for me new life after the surgery and reassuring me that all will be fine after a few hours was enough support to me that morning :). His presence with me, holding my hand to the last minute with a confident look on his face that we would see each other later was all I needed.

When I returned home, I was very pleasantly surprised with the decorations and the "welcome home" signs, which I was not expecting at all. I was thrilled like a child and more thrilled when I went upstairs and found more signs above the door and on the stairs!
 
Just try and be calm and supportive on the morning of the surgery. You can fall apart later when he can't see you. When you visit, while he is in the hospital, bring the day's newspaper and read it to him if he is just happy lying in the bed and listening (stuff like that) play it by ear.
Once you get him home, again, play it by ear and casually remind him that he doesn't have to be 10 feet tall and bullet proof and to ask for your help if he feels discomfort or unease doing something. I believe that there is no cut and dry road to surgery and recovery and that your instincts will show you the way.
Having seen my husband through a quadruple by-pass, the undergoing an aortic valve replacement myself I know that things will sort themselves out. You can PM me if you like. Things will be fine. I know right now is a very confusing time for you (sometimes medical personnel forget about the spouse in this whole process)
 
Megan ... I think your idea is sweet and I also think that anyway that you wish to show your love and support is appropriate ... this is serious business but you don't have to dwell on the dark side ... when I got home ( 5 days after surgery) I was not ready to jump rope but I was far from being an infant ... everyone is different and recovers differently ... use common sense and follow your heart and all will be well with you both...
 

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