I'm starting to freak out

Help Support ValveReplacement.org:

K

Kevin M

Guest
:eek:
I'm beginning to get a little nervous about my surgery next week.
I had one 11 years ago, but this time, everything seems different.

It's probably because I'm more mature (1st op at 23 years) and have more responsibilities. Last time the symptoms were far less debilitating and I was confused rather than afraid.

I find some days I am totally ready for what lies ahead and can't wait to look the monster in the eyes and beat this thing.

Other days, like today, I feel like a kid, small and plagued with worry and fear.

It's hard to talk to my wife about this stuff because she's pretty scared about everything and I don't like to burden her with this stuff.

I only found this site a month ago or so, but over the past week or so, this group has been a great comfort to me.

It feels to get this off my chest knowing that I am able to communicate with others who completely understand.
Thanks for the shoulder,
Kev
 
G

Gillian (in UK)

Guest
Worries and fears

Worries and fears

How could it be any other way, especially as you now feel you have more responsibilities. Before my AVR (13 March 01) I would feel calm and accepting one moment and totally scared the next. And I'm an old lady! I don't know what I would have done without the help and support I got here. I do hope you will feel that we are all there for you, and looking forward to hearing from you with your story.

Best wishes.
 
L

LeslieD

Guest
Scared Too!!!

Scared Too!!!

Kevin,
I understand totally. I'm having surgery 7/25 and the time of waiting is driving me crazy. I'm having anxiety attacks. I'm divorced and have 2 kids and trying to get everything covered and all the t's crossed is so hard.

I've never had surgery this will be my first. I guess I should feel lucky that I've lived with Aortic Stenosis all my life without many complications.

What type of surgery are you having? I'm having trouble deciding on tissue valve or mechanical if the Ross Procedure is a no go.

Take Care.
 
M

Mara

Guest
Kevin and Leslie

Kevin and Leslie

Kevin and Leslie-
I am having my surgery on 7/12. I can empathize with both of you. I think I have a pretty good grip on the whole thing, but still, you know there is that little nagging voice saying "what if I don't make it thru?" Well, I just can't worry about that. i know that it is hard to not be worried, but I guess that I have no choice, having the surgery beats the alternative.
And, like Leslie, I was born with my AS/AI, so I have known for 29 years that I would need surgery. I was diagnosed at age 4.

This is a daunting prospect for anyone, but one that must be faced head on. Kevin, you have been there once and made it thru. I would not feel badly about telling your wife how you feel. I think she will appreciate knowing how you feel, and you might be suprised at the strength she can muster to help you. Plus, talking it out will make you both feel better. I know that I can tell my fiance, David, anything and even if he is scared too, we both feel better just knowing how the other feels.

That is my amatuer psychiatrist advice for the day. I know that we can make it thru. Just think of all those slobby old men who smoked cigarettes and ate fried foods for 40 years who survive by-pass surgery like it was nothing! You have got them beat!

Best wishes.
Mara
 

KristyW

Well-known member
Joined
Jun 10, 2001
Messages
475
Location
Commerce City, CO
I undersand totally!

I undersand totally!

Kevin,

I completely understand your feelings. I'm having AVR the day before you. I have been ok until this weekend. The fears are starting to bubble to the surface. Don't hesitate to talk with your wife. She's scared too, and it's easier knowing you're not alone in your feelings. My husband and I have had some wonderful pillow talks lately.

Most importantly, take care of yourself: rest as much as possible, eat right and stay hydrated!

You're in my thoughts and prayers.

Godspeed :)
 
L

LeslieD

Guest
Kevin,
Everyone is giving you great advice. It's nice that you have someone that you can talk to you. I'm very sure that your wife is just as scared and probably waiting for you to start the conversation. So my advice is to jump on in get all the fears out in the open. You will both feel better.

Good luck in the surgery and Mara has a good point think of those people who don't take care of themselves, eat fried foods and do well in surgery.

Keep us updated on your recovery.

God Bless,
Leslie
 
F

fdegranville

Guest
Dear Kevin,

The freaking out is the worst part from what I hear.......Before you know it, it will be over with and you will join everyone else at the top of the mountain and say <<what was the fuss all about>> Draw from the incredible amount of courage on this site. As you can see by the numbers there are so many, many success stories i.e Gerry in Australia playing competitive tennis after only 4 months. I am glad you have found this site prior to the surgery, to get all that info that the doctors can't even tell you, not having been through it. Fear of the unknown is the worst.

Well, best of luck from a fellow Canadian (living in New Jersey).
fdeg
 

Nancy

Well-known member
Joined
Jun 10, 2001
Messages
9,896
Location
upstate New York
you'll do just fine

you'll do just fine

Hi Kevin M-

It's only normal to be fearful. This is a BIG operation. My husband Joe, had an aortic valve replacement (mechanical) 24 years ago, lung surgery 5 years ago for a benign tumor, a mitral valve replacement (mechanical) 2 years ago, a pacemaker implanted 9 months ago, and lung surgery on the other lung for scar tissue which had wrapped around the lung, 4 months ago. And he isn't finished yet. He might have to have surgery to tighten up his mitral valve leak. He just turned 70 today and if he can make it, you can too. You're young and have had successful heart surgery in the past, all good things.

Think of this as a life saving operation which is going to restore your health. Read as much as you can about it and try to bring your wife into your world as much as possible. You can't shield her from what's going to happen to you. You'll need her help before, during and after the operation. I'm sure she'll rise to the occasion. We become strong by facing things and conquering them.

We'll all be thinking about you and will be waiting anxiously for your war stories from the hospital.

Best wishes,

Nancy :)
 
J

Jeff H.

Guest
Hang in their Kevin, I'm going in for my first ever operation, now I'm counting on you to help me. I've been going through the same type of symptoms. Last week I was ready and now I'm ready to tell the Doc to go take another expensive vacation. I haven't told the guys at where I work yet until I leave. Mainly becouse I didn't want to be reminded so much of whats coming up. My wife isn't freaking or nothing she is at ease with this, that alone is scaring the baageebees out of me. She is a nurse so I'm going to milk out the next 4weeks after surgery the best that I can. Take Care;
And I feel Your Pain
Jeff H.
 
S

srwieland

Guest
The worst part

The worst part

This is the worst part, the pre-surgery anxiety. I had been expecting, and putting off, my surgery for 25 years until my symptoms worsened and had a scary hospitalization for a fib. The week before my surgery (4 weeks ago tomorrow) I experienced a few periods when I seriously thought about bailing out and rescheduling. The others on this site helped through those periods more than anyone else because they were the only ones I could talk to who had actually been through it. Knowing that so many others have done it successfully and who report that it is so much better on the other side is the most encouraging, with the emphasis on courage, thing.

Now I am one of those that can also tell you that. Four weeks out of surgery, I feel like a million bucks. Still get exhausted when I over do it, but my heart function is so much improved I can only say that I have no regrets whatsoever and, indeed, am very glad that I hung in there and didn't let my fears overcome me. You have your family and friends, and a lot of heart buddies here, praying for you so just go for it and we'll see you soon on this other, better, side of the mountain. Godspeed.
 
M

Mike M. in Hous

Guest
Re; Freaking

Re; Freaking

Kevin don't worry about freaking it's natural. The Wait they say is the worse part. Soon you will be over on this side of the Mountain and breathing easier.
I guess I was lucky. I thought I had a week to wait when i got a call saying if you can get checked in tonioght we can do your surgery tomorrow. So my week wait got shortened.
We are here for you and will be praying for you next week, we will also pray for your family that they be strong through all this.:)
 
M

Mara

Guest
No use freakin'

No use freakin'

See Kevin-
There's no use in freakin'. Everyone is on your team. Just as you'll be on our teams when we have surgery, and as you were when the veterans had theirs. Steve in FL is right, your heart buddies here are pulling for you. I know I am . I am so excited that everyone on this list has had good outcomes.

I have to admit that part of me is excited about the surgery. I am tired of feeling tired. Plus, I can loll around the house with a good excuse and have my new husband wait on me hand and foot. But, more importantly, I'll be starting off our marriage with a new outlook.

You can do it Kevin!

All good thoughts your way
-Mara
 
K

Kevin M

Guest
Thank you for you encouraging comments

Thank you for you encouraging comments

I feel much better today. You know, sometimes you just have one of those days?

Thanks, I appreciate your words and thoughts.
Kev
 
L

Laura

Guest
It's OK to freak!

It's OK to freak!

Kevin,

I am 10 weeks out from my MVR surgery (4/2/01). I am back to work full time. I, like Mike, went quickly. I spoke with the surgeon on Wednesday and the following Monday I was in surgery. Shorter time to stress, but stress I did. There are times you feel strong and times you want to cry. My fiance was very supportive when I had my low days - just as your wife will be there for you. You marry someone through sickness and health and sometimes all it takes is just a hug from that someone you love. I was talking to a friend and told her I was sick of hearing everyone say "Oh you'll be alright". After hearing that for about 3 days I went off and said "Oh yea, then you lay down and let them play with your heart." Believe it or not it made me feel better! They are right though! Doctors can do just about anything these days and to my surgeon - this was a walk in the park. She has plenty of years of experience behind her. Keep your chin up and (as my fiance keeps saying to me) "Think of the big picture and all that you will be able to do and how well you will feel afterwards." I'm praying for you!
:) :)
 

Christina

Beloved Member
Joined
Jun 9, 2001
Messages
1,102
Location
AZ USA
Dear Kevin,
You would not be normal if you wouldn't feel a bit of nervousness. Anyone that tells me that he/she isn't, is not telling the truth I think.
I myself was scared to death about the thought of having my chest ripped open, and the upcoming surgery totally consumed my mind day and night. It was all I could think about. I had a terrible time sleeping and woke up often during the night. I cried when no one was around, because I did not want to let anyone know in my family that I was terrified. The waiting was horrific and I hope I never have to do this again. I had to wait about two weeks because my surgeon had to go out of town. He didn't want to perform the surgery and then leave me to another surgeon, so he asked me to wait. That was very difficult for me, but I also had lots of heart buddies online encouraging me, and I thought if they can do it, so can I.
I had to have another AVR 11 days later as my first AVR needed to be redone because of a blood clot. I was already in the hospital at that time so there was no time to get nervous again. I just let it all happen, and let God and my medical team be in charge.
I wish you much strength Kevin, and also all the other heart buddies about to have surgery in the near future. I have a hard time remembering all the names and dates, so please forgive me!
I will keep you all in my thoughts and prayers

Let us hear from you when you can.

Christina
 

hensylee

Well-known member
Joined
Jun 10, 2001
Messages
11,656
Location
snowy - Sharpsburg, Ga USA
Dear Kevin and others who are about to have "it". Wow, I'll tell you there's nothing like those pre-op weeks. And if that doesn't kill you, nothing will. Dear Kevin, et al please look at all the folks who are members here and most of us have been there and know exacytly whereof you speak, but look at us now. All of us have gotten through it, admittedly with a lot of discomfort, but here we are - and just for you all. If you can jump past the surgery for just a moment, know that you are going to come through this just fine and will be a brand new miracle to add to this forum and you will be there for others who come after you. I promise you God, as well as us, will hold your hand and walk all the way over the mountain top with you and then romp on the other side.

In the meantime, you are gonna have these fears - there's just no gettin out of it - however, that's what we are here for, so hang with us and we can talk you through. God bless
 
L

Laura

Guest
Kevins pre-days

Kevins pre-days

Kevin,
In noticing you are turning 35, I say you need not worry. I turned 32 in February and had my Mitral Valve replaced 4/2/01. I am already back to work full time, have been sleeping comfortably (on my stomach) for a couple of weeks. We youngins' got age on our side! Definately take advantage and take it easy the first month if not two and you'll be working your way back soon. I do get tired but other that needing naps every once in a while I feel great! Best of luck to you and have a super Birthday!!! :) :)
 

Latest posts

Top