I hate my brain

[themalteser]

I've been searching on aortic aneurysms for the last 2 hours!! I hate it, it's like morbid fascination!! I read the article by Kevin Helliker and I thought he is positive, but the article was not positive. I'm bored of this,really fed up! I need a monitor to see it myself all the time and if it ever enlarge a bit, it warns me! I can't wait till next January to check this, it's too far ! Sorry all, I need to vent...

I am also thinking about moving back to Malta and I sent some of my questions to heart institutes in Malta, so I found out that in Malta they don't do valve sparring procedure, because they are not experienced, so if I need this they send me back to the UK. In addition they don't have Irbesartan. I think I'd be shooting myself in the foot if I move to Malta, bit I really want to go! 30 degrees sunshine, better lifestyle for family

 

[AZ Don]

I can't help you with the waiting, I know it sucks. Re. moving to Malta: why not? The UK is only a few hours away by plane. You could fly back for surgery, and even fly back occasionally to pick up prescriptions, if you can't get what you want by mail order in Malta. As for the valve sparing procedure, I was a little disappointed in mine. I went from no regurgitation or stenosis to moderate regurgitation in the 2 years since my surgery. My Cardio says it is no longer a question of 'if' I will need a new valve, but rather a question of 'when'. Still, I have no regrets. All the info I could find indicated that I had a roughly 50% chance of never needing another surgery. I'm not on warfarin now, and if my valve can hold out another 5 or 10 years, who knows what my options will be by then.

 

[almost_hectic]

Seems I've read too many accounts of this valve sparing surgery that don't last very long. That's got to be so disappointing to hear that news. I wish you guys the best

 

[dornole]

I think your header is right - you "hate your brain." This news is so new, it's only natural to be agitated, but I'm sure you'd rather feel calmer. Anything you think would actually help you settle down and trust that your treatment plan and followup schedule are appropriate? That helps with more ordinary stresses for you?

 

[almost_hectic]

Imagine the brain as a funnel. No matter how much you can pour into it only so much can get through at once, the rest will spill over without getting in. In other words, it takes time. You'll figure out what to do, even if you can't see it right now.

 

[themalteser]

Thank you all. I am now talking to a surgeon who is going to look at my MRI images from last February, to see if I could be a candidate for the PEARS procedure. It is surprising that valve sparing does not carry great outcome, is it because bicuspid aortic valve tend to progress with regurgitation? Mine is still mild at the moment.

Is there anyone here who have known about his aortic dilation for quite some time, but never needed any interventions yet. Dilation of around 45mm ?

Anxiety for me is definitely a great issue, I posted on this site before about it. I keep on putting off taking medication, but I think its time. I was going to start on Escitalopram. The thought of death, dying, my family dying etc etc is not healthy, on a daily basis!

Also, thank you for your thought about Malta AZ Don. You've put this into perspective for me, 3 hours is really short! and that is true, I could fly back for surgery if I need it or pick up prescription etc. That's very helpful.

 

[OldManEmu]

I had a 4.7cm dilation at the time of my first surgery in 2004 that couldn't be addressed due to my poor conditioned from heart failure. My AVR was done and the dilation remained stable for over 6 years with regular measurement from CT scans with contrast. When the dilation decided to progress it quickly went to 5.5cm triggering an ascending aorta repair and AVR redo.
Do not stress about this it is all treatable. Now I am the wrong side of 50 I have been far more concerned about being diagnosed with some type of internal cancer, this can spread anywhere and you are finished, heart valve issues can’t spread and are treatable.

 

[dornole]

Do take care of your mental health malteser. So important to your quality of life. It's treatable and so is your heart stuff. So get a treatment plan on board for both, follow the trusted plan and resume a more stable, happier and managed life.

 

[cldlhd]

Seems I've read too many accounts of this valve sparing surgery that don't last very long. That's got to be so disappointing to hear that news. I wish you guys the best

Well as they say there are no guarantees. I was starting to feel the same way before my valve Repair in February but I think people that have repairs that fail prematurely are more likely to be out here . You don't call the electric company to tell them the power has been on all night. I know everyone thinks they're surgeon is the best so I won't bore anyone too much with all that but.....when I talked to my surgeon who's specialty is valve repair and he gave me his stats I felt more confident. He started the type of repair he did on me in 2004 , he does around 200 OHS's a year,a majority repairs, and he's had no reops due to failure of the repair. He also told me he thought my repair would be relatively easy and straightforward based on what he saw of my valve but he wouldn't know if it would accept a stitch until he was in there. My backup was mechanical.

 

[carolinemc]

themaltser, may not have that right. But please try to think of other things than about death, dying, etc. It can make whatever depression you have already worsen. I know, a had a small bout of it before surgery. But I thought about my mother, she has died months before I found out about need surgery,2001, surgery was 2001. She was always there for me through the heart stuff and she was with during the waiting game before surgery. You have to sweat it out. Be positive, you have a lot to live for. Very few people die from bypass these days. Modern medicine is greater than it ever has been these days. Just keep the mind busy, be positive and you will be fine. Just hang in there. Hugs for today.