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Getzfixed

Hi, I'm Getzfixed wife. I've spent the past few weeks reading all the posts and I must say they are really helping me. My husband goes in on Jan. 14th, and we are scared to death. The closer the surgery gets the more scared I get. I find myself crying at the drop of a dime. Then I get on the site and read all these post op stories and it helps. To read the stories and talk to the surgeons it almost sound like this surgery is routine. But the sensible side of my brain says this is open heart surgery on my 32 year old husband, there is nothing routine about it. I guess I'm just wondering if when most of the patients went in they were as scared as we are right now, or should we try and calm down and accept it?
In 10 days I'll be giving the site an update on his condition. I just pray it's good news. Thanks for listening. Julie
 
Dear Julie - you are ok with being scared. Really, it's alright. Every single one of us who had heart surgery was afraid. If you stick around here, you will find those who come after you will be just as scared. This part is the worst of all - the anticipation of it. When you need reassurance, that is what we are all about. Please take advantage of the goodness of the members here and post away any fears or questions you have and believe me, you will get encouragement and answers. We are here to stay right with you all the way from now til whenever...God bless
 
Dear Julie,

Wow, do I remember those feeling your going through. My surgery was a little over a year ago. I had dreams that I was walking into the hospital and running out and fast as I could. Screaming, I can't go through with this. Interesting though, the day off I was really calm. Have faith in your surgeon and hospital, and know that you are going to a good place. Keep your self busy in the mean time. Try meditiation, laughter is the best medicine. Most of all, as hensylee said, keep posting. We understand, and are there for you.
 
JULIE: SCARED, YOU SAY.....Let me tell you that my wife, Aida was more scared than anyone....for at her advanced age, (late 70's), she dreaded the thought of facing the operation and was willing to face the inevitable......and even leave this earth, rather than risk such an operation.....An Aortic Valve Replacement, fearing to become a "vegetable" after being cut open.....so she would rather "give up" and not take the risk.

However, we attended a couple of "Mended Hearts" meetings in San Diego, where she was able to talk to a few members who had undergone Heart Surgery and are now enjoy a much better life for it. Finally, somehow, Aida discovered this great Forum and it was here that she finally became convinced to "chance it", at least, since others posting had "been there, done that", and lived to tell about it.

Still she put the operation off "until after the Holidays", but one morning she got her "wake-up" call....for she just PASSED OUT and I had to rush her to the emergency room at the Hospital.

THIS WAS IT....AND NO TWO WAYS ABOUT IT......either the operation right now or.........take your chances with two strikes already against you! SO SHE WENT FOR IT......and in addition to the Valve Replacement, she also had a Double-ByPass done.

Julie, "all's well that ends well", and today is Saturday, and Aida is coming home on Monday....after a week or so at the Rehab Center, which followed the operation......

Now she is so happy that she went through with it....as is our entire family...including myself, most of all....and as you and your husband will be.....Good Luck and Keep in Touch.....

MITCH MENSCHEL/WEBMASTER
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Julie-

I know exeactly how you are feeling right now. My husband has had 3 open heart surgeries, 2 lung surgeries and has a pacemaker. I have been in your shoes many times and each time has been traumatic.

The things I have to keep remembering are that Joe wouldn't survive without this and the surgeon who operated on him is meticulous in his surgical skills, his preparation for the surgery and investigation into Joe's conditions have been extremely thorough. He's an expert at what he does and I knew that Joe would be in the best hands.

These operations are pretty much routine for the surgeons who do them. They are difficult surgeries, but the surgeons are very capable.

Being scared is OK. In a way it does help prepare you for the tense days ahead because it gives you a little extra adrenalin to get you through.

After the surgery when your husband has had a little time to recover, you will be thrilled to notice that his old symptoms have for the most part gone away or at least diminished to a large extent. It takes about a year for patients to feel back to "normal" But during that year there is steady progress.

I wish you both the best.
 
Hi Getzfixed Wife Julie,

You hit the nail on the the head! It is routine for the surgeons but it isn't a routine surgery for each of us that went through it. I know I was scared. When they said their was a chance for a less invasive surgery I went for it. The end result after two tries in two different months(Jan 12 and March 5th, 2001) I ended up with open heart surgery on March 8th, 2001. By that time I was already in the hospital with three more days to wait, and I finally just put it in Gods hands. I had faith in the surgeon, as well which really does help. They do know what their doing and have done this procedure many many times. I was calm on the Big Day! My first thought when I woke up after surgery was "Thank You God, you wanted me to live". I felt so much better within a few months. You just keep posting your fears and anxieties here as we are all here to help, and will still be here after surgery when many more questions will arise. Someone within our wonderful VR.com family will have the answer your looking for. Take care and God Bless. I'll kepp you both in my prayers.
 
Yes, Julie, those of us looking forward to surgery are all scared to death. That's why we hang out here. And the generosity of all the people here who have already done it really helps a lot.

My surgery is still about five weeks away and I am terrified and not doing very well managing my anxiety.

I did read something last night though that I thought was beautiful and gives me comfort everytime I re-read it. Perhaps it will help you and all the others who are scared too.


"I said to the man who stood at the Gate of the Year,

Give me a light that I might go safely out into the darkness.

And he replied, Go out into the darkness and put your hand into the hand of God.

That shall be more to you than a light and safer than a known way."
 
JenniferO,

That was just beautiful and so appropriate! That was how I got through my surgery. I just had a calmness about me when I finally went in. Of course we all get anxious about the unknown, especially when it's happening to each of us. Those were the best words of comfort you could give Peachy and I'm sure that is what will help you too. Take care!
 
Hi Again,

After looking at my post, the information you shared was for getzfixed not Peachy, though I'm sure Peachy will appreciate it, just as much. That was great to be able to share with everyone! Take care and May God Bless!
 
Yes, had I seen it in time, I would have posted it for Peachy too, but it was late last night and she was probably already on her way to the hospital.
 
Dear Julie,
Scared? Yes... but I had confidence in my surgeon. My surgery to repair my mitral valve was postponed five times before being done in October, 2000. This gives one lots of time for reflection and as time went by I just found myself wanting to get it done and over with!

I will pray that your husband gets through this and makes a speedy recovery.

Take care,
Zazzy
 
thanks

thanks

Thank you all for your replies. I must say this site is a God send.

Not only do most of our family and friends not understand what kind of surgery is going to take place, they don't even understand what a main valve is. To be fair up until May of 2001 I didn't understand myself. People hear heart surgery they say "oh, he's having a bypass" It's been tough. But getting on this site is so refreshing because in one way or another all involved has been through this. My husband hasn't had a single symptom, no dizziness or light headed nothing, so our anxieties are high. In our eyes we are sending a perfectly healthy man into life or death surgery. We've been told it's only 2% chance he won't make it, but that 2% is all we can see right now. We're down to one week from today, so every day will get tougher.

Thank you gain for your thoughts I know I'm not unique in this situation, but it is good to know I have somewhere to go if I need to talk.
 
hi julie!
hensylee is right, the waiting is the absolute worst!! i was a total wreck for weeks before my husband, joey's surgery.
we are all here to help and hold your hand throughout this difficult time; please use us. we will listen if that's all you need us to do as well.
what did help me, especially when i couldn't sleep at night, were guided imagery tapes/cd's by diane tusek. you can log onto her website at: [email protected]. she has a very soothing voice and it is almost like meditation.
you might want to try them. joey even used them while in the hospital and before.
as everyone here has told you, this is practically routine surgery today. you just have to trust your surgeon and know it will all be fine and behind you before you know it.
i hope you have someone(s) to keep you company while your husband is in surgery. that helped pass the time for me. there was about an hour before anyone got there, and i remember having a hard time just waiting (i start to think and let my imagination get the better of me).
please keep visiting us and letting us know how you are both holding up.
be well and God bless you,
sylvia
 
Hi Julie-

Just a little note about getting caught up in the percentages. Remember in that 2%, are some very sick people all grouped with the others who have moderate to mild symptoms. In some venues for this surgery, the percentage is even smaller.

It sounds as if your husband is going into surgery with the best possible situation. His heart condition although in the operable range, hasn't yet given him "fits". That's good, he'll probably recover faster than someone like my husband who was at death's door prior to surgery.

Plus he has youth on his side.

Best wishes.
 
hi Julie

hi Julie

Just got back from holiday and saw your post ..I'm in Scotland waiting surgery (for a congential defect and maybe a new valve)..although this will be my fourth OH surgery I had the others as a child and although I was scared then I am far worse now ...much more responsibilities and I realise how precious life is now ...There is nothing much I can say to make you feel better ...I know the waiting is awful ..here I may have to wait up to six months ...although I am encouraged by the fact Peachy got called so quickly...I dither between wanting it over and never wanting it to happen ..and I can understand the feeling that your husband is healthy as I feel although I get really tired now it's a better than nothing ..
HOWEVER ..this board is wonderful ..I have now seen so many people come on to it ..just like us ..have their surgery and come back and tell us how good they feel ..I do fine it very reassuring especially as some people are going into surgery much worse off than your husband and I ...stay with this board ..the people and information are wonderful ..and I think it 's great that people go into surgery with other people ,whom they have never met ,saying a prayer for them all over the world ...
Take care ....
Scottie
 
Guided Imagery

Guided Imagery

Sylvia was right on sending you to Diane Tusek's website. My hospital issues her tapes to all the open heart patients, We take our Sony with us on admission and listen before and after the surgery. I still use guided imagery to help with my insommnia three years later.
 
I too have Diane Tusek's imagery CD and am using it for my pre-surgery preparation. It is a quality product and one I would highly recommend.
 
Try to go into this surgery with a good attitude knowing that your surgeon does this all the time. What other choice do you have? It's been 8 weeks since my surgery and I'm feeling great. No shortness of breath anymore and I'm now working out with light weights in addition to stretching exercises and walking. I feel much better than before surgery, in time, you will too.
 
It is scary...

It is scary...

Hi Julie!

My husband has his Ross Procedure on 12-4-01. We were very scared. And it is a very scary procedure so it is expected. Up to the last minute I asked "are you sure we need to do this?" We had to. And we did. I am not sure, even now, how we did it. The minutes go so very slowly as you go through preop. After that though, the time seems to speed up. Make sure you have things to do during the surgery. It helps keep your mind off the time. After surgery, it becomes a blur. Things happen so quickly. It seems like there is an improvement every hour. And there actually is. I felt like I was observing a mystical event.

There are only two things that I never understood about the surgery day. 1) The doctor's nurse called be from the surgery to let me know that they "were trying to warm Bobby." I thought it was strange that they would tell me they were "trying". This was really scary. And it took another 45 minutes before they called and said that they had taken Bobby off the heart-lung machine - that is what they meant by "warming" him. 2) The nursing staff took me into Cardiac Intensive Care while Bobby still wasn't there. He looked awful. Like he wasn't there. Be prepared for this. I think they want us in there so that our loved one has someone to "come back to". Be prepared to see a shell of your husband, just try to let him hear your voice. Then leave and come back in one hour. You will be surprised that he will be better that an hour earlier.

Also, the breathing tube is hard to see. Bobby fought it as he was coming "back". It is very hard to see your strong, capable husband being in this much discomfort and him not understanding and you can't tell him - because he still isn't there. Just reassure him that everything is okay. Remind him that it is the breathing tube.

I read everything I could to Bobby before the surgery. And I still read all I can on the recovery. He needs to have reference back to "this is really odd - but it is normal."

We will await your posting letting us know all is well. All will be well too! God Bless!

Ann
 
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