Funny Pill #2

[perrypiratesdad]

I have 2 dogs & I was buying a large bag of Purina at the store and standing In line at the check out.

A woman behind me asked if I had a dog.

On impulse, I told her no, that I was starting The Purina Diet again, although I probably shouldn't because I'd ended up in the hospital last time, but I'd lost 50 pounds before I awakened in ICU, with tubes coming out of most of my orifices and IV's in both arms.

I told her it was essentially a perfect diet, and the way it works is to load your pants pockets with Purina nuggets and simply eat one or two every time you feel hungry and the food is nutritionally complete, so I was going to try it gain.

I have to mention here -- practically everyone in the line was by now enthralled with my story, particularly a guy who was behind her.

Horrified, she asked if I'd ended up in the hospital in that condition because I had been poisoned. I told her -- "No, it was because I'd been sitting in the street licking my but, when a car hit me."

I thought one guy was going to have a heart attack, he was laughing so hard as he staggered out the door.

Stupid lady...why else would I buy dog food??

 

[AquaJeff]

I have 2 dogs & I was buying a large bag of Purina at the store and standing In line at the check out.

A woman behind me asked if I had a dog.

On impulse, I told her no, that I was starting The Purina Diet again, although I probably shouldn't because I'd ended up in the hospital last time, but I'd lost 50 pounds before I awakened in ICU, with tubes coming out of most of my orifices and IV's in both arms.

I told her it was essentially a perfect diet, and the way it works is to load your pants pockets with Purina nuggets and simply eat one or two every time you feel hungry and the food is nutritionally complete, so I was going to try it gain.

I have to mention here -- practically everyone in the line was by now enthralled with my story, particularly a guy who was behind her.

Horrified, she asked if I'd ended up in the hospital in that condition because I had been poisoned. I told her -- "No, it was because I'd been sitting in the street licking my but, when a car hit me."

I thought one guy was going to have a heart attack, he was laughing so hard as he staggered out the door.

Stupid lady...why else would I buy dog food??

LMAO. That's great. It reminds me of the comedian Bill Engvall, and his "Here's Your Sign" thing for Stupid people.

Often when I go scuba diving from the beach there's someone around that asks me if I'm a scuba diver. I usually say, "Nope, I just like carrying all this gear for the exercise."