Hello folks, I don't know what is going on with me but I went away for the weekend to celebrate our wedding anniversary and sort of fell off the edge. Maybe my hormones are really wacky or something but I found myself barely able to keep from crying at times. I had a stress echo done about a month ago and it showed my tissue valve had moderate stenosis. It wasn't a terrible result and yet it has brought back so much of the trauma of my first go round dealing with the discovery that I was born with a bicuspid aortic heart valve that was going to need replacing. 10 years ago, when I found out I had this condition, my cardiologist minimized my situation. It's a long story but I ended up having to make a decision quickly about who, when and how to replace that valve. I did great with handling all that in very quick order until after the surgery when I lost it emotionally in the hospital 3 days post surgery. Reality hit I guess and the hospital part was really tough. I think a lot tougher than it needed to be but that's a long story too. Anyway, I chose a tissue valve replacement and my recovery went well once I was out of the hospital and so have the last 10 years as far as my heart goes. I've had other health challenges and had a really hard spring. I know no one can really say when I will need another replacement. I was really hoping not for quite a few years yet but I've really dropped off into negative thinking in the last couple of days. I don't want to feel like this. I want to be positive and thankful for the medical care and technology that could pull me through another heart surgery when I need it. I just feel really weighed down by having to monitor this, all the uncertainties, and also I'm reminded that my mother died when she was 64 and my 64th is coming up soon. I've had so little time for myself this summer. Can any of you identify with my feelings? Am I being overly dramatic and pessimistic? Please tell me if I need to cowboy up. I always knew that eventually I would have to deal with the valve again if I lived long enough and I felt I could deal with that fine. Maybe there is some other stuff going on that accounts for my recent sad and frustrated feelings.