Down South

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hensylee

Well-known member
Joined
Jun 10, 2001
Messages
11,656
Location
snowy - Sharpsburg, Ga USA
If ya'll wanta come on down South, here's what ya'll oughta know -specially in Nashville!!


Southern Advice

If you are from the northern states and planning on
visiting or moving to the South, there are a few
things you should know that will help you adapt
to the difference in lifestyles:
The North has sun-dried toe-mah-toes,
The South has 'mater samiches.
The North has coffee houses,
The South has Waffle Houses.
The North has dating services,
The South has family reunions.
The North has switchblade knives,
The South has Lee Press-on Nails.

The North has double last names,
The South has double first names.
The North has Ted Kennedy,
The South has Jesse Helms.
The North has an ambulance,
The South has an amalance.
The North has Indy car races,
The South has stock car races.
The North has Cream of Wheat,
The South has grits.
The North has green salads,
The South has collard greens.
The North has lobsters,
The South has crawdads.
The North has the rust belt,
The South has the Bible Belt.
If you run your car into a ditch, don't panic.
Four men in a four-wheel drive pickup truck with a
tow chain will be along shortly. Don't try to help
them, just stay out of their way. This is what they
live for.
Don't be surprised to find movie rentals and
bait in the same store.... Don't buy food at this store.
Remember, "y'all" is singular, "all y'all" is plural,
and "all y'all's" is plural possessive.
Get used to hearing "You ain't from round here,
are ya?"
You may hear a Southerner say "Ought!" to a dog or
child. This is short for "Y'all ought not do that!"
and is the equivalent of saying "No!"
Don't be worried at not understanding what
people are saying. They can't understand you either.
The first Southern expression to creep into a
transplanted Northerner's vocabulary is the
adjective"big'ol," truck or "big'ol" boy. Most Northerners
begin their Southern-influenced dialect this
way. All of them are in denial about it.
The proper pronunciation you learned in school
is no longer proper.
Be advised that "He needed killin" is a valid
defense here.
If you hear a Southerner exclaim, "Hey, y'all,
watch this," you should stay out of the way. These are
likely to be the last words he'll ever say.
If there is the prediction of the slightest
chance of even the smallest accumulation of snow, your
presence is required at the local grocery store. It doesn't
matter whether you need anything or not. You just have
to go there.
When you come up on a person driving 15 mph down
the middle of the road, remember that most folks
learn to drive on a John Deere, and that is the proper speed
and position for that vehicle.
Do not be surprised to find that 10-year-olds
own their own shotguns, they are proficient
marksmen, and their mammas taught them how to aim.
In the South, we have found that the best way to
grow a lush green lawn is to pour gravel on it and call it
a driveway.

AND REMEMBER:

If you do settle in the South and bear children, don't
think we will accept them as Southerners. After all,
if the cat had kittens in the oven, we wouldn't call
'em biscuits.
Have a good day! Send this to four people that ain't
related to you, and I reckon your life will turn into
a country music song fore you know it.
;)
 
M

Mike M. in Hous

Guest
The South

The South

hensylee.
yall fergets to menshun the Difference tween aYankee and
A DAMN YANKEE
 
M

Mike M. in Hous

Guest
Damnyankee

Damnyankee

Yep it twer but I had ta broke it up soes tothers would undstand it.
 
G

Gillian (in UK)

Guest
Hensylee

Hensylee

Hensylee - I never realised you spoke a foreign language - you write very good English.....considering.
 
T

Tammy

Guest
All I can say is:
LOVE THAT WAFFLE HOUSE!!!!!

Yip I dew.

Tammy
 

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