Do you ever stop worrying?

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C

corrineinwa

When Peter first came home after surgery, I likened it to bringing a new baby into the house and I kept an watchful eye on him

As the days and weeks went by (he's now 5 weeks post-op), that eased off but I still find myself checking on him.

I'm not obsessional about it but if he's quiet or whatever, I surreptitiously sneek a peek to see if he's OK.

Does that stage go too and things end up back as they were before or is this how it's going to be from now on?
 
Corrine,
I think over time things will get back how you lived your life prior to surgery. Five weeks is not so long. So just take it easy. How is Peter feeling these days? Good I hope.
 
This is a whole new situation for both of you, and it will just take some time to adjust. In time, you will learn when it is necessary to check on him, and when it is not.

One step at a time.
 
Feed him lots of beans and cans of Dr. Pepper. If he burbs and farts, you'll know where he is and that he's fine. :D
 
My husband had his AVR nearly 8 years ago. We have been married 42 years in Nov. I stayed really anxious about him for the first few years. The joke around our house was everyone saying Dad or Pawpaw did you take your medicine because I asked him that everyday. Especially I always asked at 5 if he took his coumadin. I am more relaxed now but his ticking valve is music to my ears. I woke up at 4 this morning and laid my hand on his heart to feel the valve ticking just to be assured..
 
no, you won't ever get completely over it but you will adjust and keep your emotions in check. the patient, too, will always be aware of his/her 'ordeal', give life a new value, but when we get something uncomfy, we wonder til we get past it and we always do. Life goes on just like it did, but you will value him more. isn't that nice, tho.
 
I echo what Nancy and Ross said.

Nancy kept her hubby Joe alive through multiple Major Surgeries for 25 years past the time some Doctors thought he would expire. She is the Grande Dame of VR.com and one of my/our Best Resourses for Knowledge and Wisdom.

Ross is Ross .... (but his comment had me Laughing Out Loud ! )

I'm still smiling :)))

I'm confident you will 'get the hang of it'.

'AL Capshaw'
 
Hi Corrine,

The worrying part does get better and eases with time. Having said that, my husband is 6 years post op and I am always mindful of his heart. It doesn't consume me, but it does make me value how blessed I am to have him. Of course, there are times when the worrying increases...just before an annual echo, when he's unwell etc.

I liken it to a book....for the first year it's like the book is open on the coffee table and you see it constantly every day....then,after a period of time, the book is closed on the coffee table and after more time, the book is placed on the book shelf, where you know it's there but you don't have to read from/see it every day.

All the very best,

Yolanda
 
You sound like my hubby was with me after my OHS. this is so normal your hubby has just been through massive surgery and this has changed both your lives. My hubby used to drive me mad he would wake me up to see if i was ok LOL, was always feeding me if i had eaten what he gave me i would be like the size of a house now. It will get better, but my hubby still phones me every hour from work, always asking me how i am, and the biggest question he always asks me, HAVE YOU HAD SOMETHING TO EAT LOL.
How is Peter doing?
I do like Ross coments, my hubby would of loved that one coz it involved food.

Both of you take care
Jane
 
Had my aortic valve replaced 2/13/09 so it's three months now and I hardly remember that I had such a huge surgery, except for making sure I take my Coumadin daily. When I first came home from the hospital, my husband wouldn't let me do anything except go to the bathroom by myself. It got better, of course, but he's more concerned about what I should or should not do than I am. But you definitely do come to a point where you realize you are "fixed" for the time being and go pretty much back to normal. He makes sure I take my cell phone wherever I go, even to walk around our property, because I walk the perimeter of our 3 acres so can be out of view at times. Yes, once you have heart problems, you are a heart patient for the rest of your life but it will cease to define your life as time goes by.

Midge
 
It definitely gets better. In spite of several things going on with Jerry we just go on with life as usual. In fact his cardio told him just today that he'll probably live to 90. (He's 72 now). This in spite of mechanical valve, bypass, prostate cancer, an aneurysm that's being watched for 4 yrs now, a skin problem that was once called Cutaneous T-Cell Lymphoma, and the last thing, this blasted Blastomycosis. He feels fine and is painting the walls of a duplex right now. He'll come home about 5:30, eat a bite, then get to the garden and work till dark.

But....if his nap in his recliner gets a little long, or if he oversleeps in the morning, I check to see if he's breathing. But at our age I might be doing that anyway.
 
I think it is natural to worry. This week is my first week being at home alone after surgery. The week I came home hubby took off work and the week after that my mom came. I feel ok home alone all day. Matt takes the kids to school and the 4 yr old to a friends house (don't feel comfy keeping her home with me) and I do my 5 walks a day. Mon, Wed and Friday someone takes me to Rehab and then i'm either resting, on the puter or watching TV.
 
Thank you - your comments have made me feel good - and NORMAL! lol

It's comforting to know that I'm not stalking the old guy (as he implies! lol).

Truthfully, I'm not obsessional (at least not in my mind) but there are times when I just need to chill out a little. Thankfully, I'm now old enough to know when to keep my mouth shut, but the feelings are still there.

And in honesty, I know the old chap from old and he does push the envelope.

Blessings to you all.
 
ALCapshaw2 said:
I echo what Nancy and Ross said.

Nancy kept her hubby Joe alive through multiple Major Surgeries for 25 years past the time some Doctors thought he would expire. She is the Grande Dame of VR.com and one of my/our Best Resourses for Knowledge and Wisdom.

Ross is Ross .... (but his comment had me Laughing Out Loud ! )

I'm still smiling :)))

I'm confident you will 'get the hang of it'.

'AL Capshaw'
Click to expand...

Nancy is also our mother of VR.....
 
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