Depression, being single, being alone

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dornole

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I myself like depression symptoms to be actually controlled .... For me that’s drugs AND a lot of other tools.
 

newarrior

I have mild moderate Aortic Stenosis live Bangkok
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Cardiac issues have sent my depression down low...What has worked for you ?)
 

dornole

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Sertraline 150 mg. Keeping a schedule, I use the Define My Day planner for this. Walking outside. Meditation (I a do a specific kind that focuses on generating happy sensations in the body). Gratitude journal. Attentive time in nature. Music. Podcasts and readings that are uplifting. Avoiding social media and news. Eating well. As you know all this takes a lot of energy that you don’t have when depressed, meds help me with that first step. When in the hole, I start small. I write down every single thing I do and I celebrate like a fool. I unloaded the dishwasher! Woo! Cue the theme from Rocky! Tiny Habits by BJ Fogg has more info on this technique. I also access anger to fight depression. “God dammit I am not going to be a slave to this internet rabbit hole.” I hope there is something here you can use.
 

AmyBL

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Dornole, I love what you wrote! I hope our new member can get some ideas from your strategies. And for me, these are practical & useful skills. Particularly remembering to celebrate small successes. For me, compassion for myself helps, too. Loss of loved ones, or other challenges/failures, can sneak up on me and before I know it, I am not doing what I need to do to keep myself functioning. I stop talking, stop moving, etc. and then, depressed again. But each day provides an opportunity to live again. To celebrate dishes being done and eventually, think about the future.
 

AmyBL

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Newarrior, it seems as if you are experiencing success as an actor. The way you write about it makes me think that you are naturally gifted as a performer. Can you allow yourself to see acting as a success? I’m impressed!
 

epstns

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Do be aware that post-surgery depression is a real and fairly common occurrence. I know it hit me, but since I knew about it before surgery (thanks to my family here), I didn't become especially worried about its cause or duration.

I distinctly remember sitting in my recliner in the first weeks after surgery and simply breaking down into tears, crying hard for no reason. I just rolled with it, letting it happen, because I could think in my conscious/rational mind that it was a side effect of the surgical trauma. I could also think around the bouts of depression to understand that I was really in a good place, I just needed to let loose now and then. In my case, the occasional teary-eyed times lasted a couple of months and gradually disappeared. I did know well, though, that if things hadn't straightened out I would have sought help - probably would have seen a counselor. I'll have to admit, though, that I may have been better prepared for this than many for a few reasons:
1. Folks here warned me about post-op depression.
2. I've had some college training in psychology (just elective courses, though, I majored in Marketing, minor in Economics).
3. I'm lucky enough to have a daughter who is a Licensed Independent Clinical Social Worker, whose specialty includes counseling.

I don't want to seem trite about it, but let me say that there is no shame in seeking help. There is only shame if one needs help and refuses to seek it.
 
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newarrior

I have mild moderate Aortic Stenosis live Bangkok
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Newarrior, it seems as if you are experiencing success as an actor. The way you write about it makes me think that you are naturally gifted as a performer. Can you allow yourself to see acting as a success? I’m impressed!
Not much going on on the acting side due to Corona and technically I am not supposed to be working in Asia since I am on retirement visa..Most of my actor work has just been background/as an extra.
 

newarrior

I have mild moderate Aortic Stenosis live Bangkok
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Messages
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Do be aware that post-surgery depression is a real and fairly common occurrence. I know it hit me, but since I knew about it before surgery (thanks to my family here), I didn't become especially worried about its cause or duration.

I distinctly remember sitting in my recliner in the first weeks after surgery and simply breaking down into tears, crying hard for no reason. I just rolled with it, letting it happen, because I could think in my conscious/rational mind that it was a side effect of the surgical trauma. I could also think around the bouts of depression to understand that I was really in a good place, I just needed to let loose now and then. In my case, the occasional teary-eyed times lasted a couple of months and gradually disappeared. I did know well, though, that if things hadn't straightened out I would have sought help - probably would have seen a counselor. I'll have to admit, though, that I may have been better prepared for this than many for a few reasons:
1. Folks here warned me about post-op depression.
2. I've had some college training in psychology (just elective courses, though, I majored in Marketing, minor in Economics).
3. I'm lucky enough to have a daughter who is a Licensed Independent Clinical Social Worker, whose specialty includes counseling.

I don't want to seem trite about it, but let me say that there is no shame in seeking help. There is only shame if one needs help and refuses to seek it.
I have had severe depression depression my whole life--I expect it would get worse post surgery plus I am utterly single and alone..I don't know how I will get through post surgery because I am alone
 

newarrior

I have mild moderate Aortic Stenosis live Bangkok
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Joined
Jun 29, 2019
Messages
437
Location
Bangkok Thailand
Dornole, I love what you wrote! I hope our new member can get some ideas from your strategies. And for me, these are practical & useful skills. Particularly remembering to celebrate small successes. For me, compassion for myself helps, too. Loss of loved ones, or other challenges/failures, can sneak up on me and before I know it, I am not doing what I need to do to keep myself functioning. I stop talking, stop moving, etc. and then, depressed again. But each day provides an opportunity to live again. To celebrate dishes being done and eventually, think about the future.
Thanks
 

newarrior

I have mild moderate Aortic Stenosis live Bangkok
VR.org Supporter
Joined
Jun 29, 2019
Messages
437
Location
Bangkok Thailand
Sertraline 150 mg. Keeping a schedule, I use the Define My Day planner for this. Walking outside. Meditation (I a do a specific kind that focuses on generating happy sensations in the body). Gratitude journal. Attentive time in nature. Music. Podcasts and readings that are uplifting. Avoiding social media and news. Eating well. As you know all this takes a lot of energy that you don’t have when depressed, meds help me with that first step. When in the hole, I start small. I write down every single thing I do and I celebrate like a fool. I unloaded the dishwasher! Woo! Cue the theme from Rocky! Tiny Habits by BJ Fogg has more info on this technique. I also access anger to fight depression. “God dammit I am not going to be a slave to this internet rabbit hole.” I hope there is something here you can use.
I do much of the same
 

newarrior

I have mild moderate Aortic Stenosis live Bangkok
VR.org Supporter
Joined
Jun 29, 2019
Messages
437
Location
Bangkok Thailand
Dornole, I love what you wrote! I hope our new member can get some ideas from your strategies. And for me, these are practical & useful skills. Particularly remembering to celebrate small successes. For me, compassion for myself helps, too. Loss of loved ones, or other challenges/failures, can sneak up on me and before I know it, I am not doing what I need to do to keep myself functioning. I stop talking, stop moving, etc. and then, depressed again. But each day provides an opportunity to live again. To celebrate dishes being done and eventually, think about the future.
It;s the gratitude thing;;good)
 

newarrior

I have mild moderate Aortic Stenosis live Bangkok
VR.org Supporter
Joined
Jun 29, 2019
Messages
437
Location
Bangkok Thailand
Do be aware that post-surgery depression is a real and fairly common occurrence. I know it hit me, but since I knew about it before surgery (thanks to my family here), I didn't become especially worried about its cause or duration.

I distinctly remember sitting in my recliner in the first weeks after surgery and simply breaking down into tears, crying hard for no reason. I just rolled with it, letting it happen, because I could think in my conscious/rational mind that it was a side effect of the surgical trauma. I could also think around the bouts of depression to understand that I was really in a good place, I just needed to let loose now and then. In my case, the occasional teary-eyed times lasted a couple of months and gradually disappeared. I did know well, though, that if things hadn't straightened out I would have sought help - probably would have seen a counselor. I'll have to admit, though, that I may have been better prepared for this than many for a few reasons:
1. Folks here warned me about post-op depression.
2. I've had some college training in psychology (just elective courses, though, I majored in Marketing, minor in Economics).
3. I'm lucky enough to have a daughter who is a Licensed Independent Clinical Social Worker, whose specialty includes counseling.

I don't want to seem trite about it, but let me say that there is no shame in seeking help. There is only shame if one needs help and refuses to seek it.
I have been in counseling from 1988 to 1990 and from 1994 to present + tried meds and many other things..It's worse than ever
 

dornole

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Jan 5, 2014
Messages
773
Location
Minnesota, US
I’m sorry it is so sucky for you. Sometimes all you can do is wait and rest. So far for me things have improved in their own sweet time alongside the efforts I make.
 

newarrior

I have mild moderate Aortic Stenosis live Bangkok
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Messages
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I’m sorry it is so sucky for you. Sometimes all you can do is wait and rest. So far for me things have improved in their own sweet time alongside the efforts I make.
Life has been hell start to finish..I see it getting worse..Im lonely as hell as well
 

Amy

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Joined
Jan 7, 2013
Messages
143
I was wound up like a watch spring after 2 years in Tokyo and while I loved many things there I equally hated others.
I also lived in Japan for years, and felt the same. I think pellicle’s right - somehow living in a place so different from how you grew up, slowly gets to you - & I s a cumulative stressor. You’re here asking for help though, which is a sign things can change. You can’t control when you’ll start to feel better... but what about starting by trying to do little things you like - you could make a list, & just do one. Walking in nature; going somewhere new; making tea - these are some I did. You might not feel any effect at first, but it’s happening.

D9D6C4EA-811A-4DD9-A534-5384C96C5071.jpeg

Alternatively, you could read up on nonduality & realize there is no you’ who is depressed....
0582826F-A5A8-43A6-9923-7E69DAB7A617.jpeg

Take it easy. Tattoo it on your hand (or with a pen like I do) that this too will pass.
 

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newarrior

I have mild moderate Aortic Stenosis live Bangkok
VR.org Supporter
Joined
Jun 29, 2019
Messages
437
Location
Bangkok Thailand
I also lived in Japan for years, and felt the same. I think pellicle’s right - somehow living in a place so different from how you grew up, slowly gets to you - & I s a cumulative stressor. You’re here asking for help though, which is a sign things can change. You can’t control when you’ll start to feel better... but what about starting by trying to do little things you like - you could make a list, & just do one. Walking in nature; going somewhere new; making tea - these are some I did. You might not feel any effect at first, but it’s happening.

View attachment 887632
Alternatively, you could read up on nonduality & realize there is no you’ who is depressed....
View attachment 887634
Take it easy. Tattoo it on your hand (or with a pen like I do) that this too will pass.
thank you...Yes living overseas has its stresses but so would starting over in the USA at age 58 from zero as well...Vexing thing this where to live question....I think I am pretty good in the self care department..In fact I am just ending an 11 day trip at the beach (a getaway from Bangkok to Krabi(
 

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Amy

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Jan 7, 2013
Messages
143
Vexing thing this where to live question....
I came to practically yearn to be back in the states, lol... now that I’m here it’s like, meh (well, it IS Arkansas)... what about coming back for a visit? Or what about a degree program online to work towards a much easier ‘starting over’ here?
 

newarrior

I have mild moderate Aortic Stenosis live Bangkok
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Joined
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Messages
437
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Bangkok Thailand
I came to practically yearn to be back in the states, lol... now that I’m here it’s like, meh (well, it IS Arkansas)... what about coming back for a visit? Or what about a degree program online to work towards a much easier ‘starting over’ here?
I am 58 arthritis the cardiac stuff the hearing loss - I did get a teaching certificate in August..Feeling lost and massively depressed and hopeless and worried about my health and finding a mate and depression
 
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