Depression, being single, being alone

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newarrior

Have moderate AS live in Asia
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Was anyone in the group severely depressed BEFORE getting diagnosed with cardiac conditions ? Did getting diagnosed with valve disease send your depression farther down ? I am trying a new drug for depression. I also hate being single but my personality doesn't lend itself to being in a relationship.
 

pellicle

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Queensland, OzTrayLeeYa
I expect MILLIONS of people are depressed, its not quite the same as post surgical depression (which is triggered by a metabolic issue)

I myself do not like drugs for depression, for alone they'll lead to dependency and side effects.

You need to consider counselling.

As to your personality point, well humans are by nature social creatures. So if you've wound yourself up in a knot in the past you'll need to address that or you'll repel people. I believe that a significant part of your problem comes from living in a place which is culturally at odds with your upbringing (unless you were born and rasied there).

I was wound up like a watch spring after 2 years in Tokyo and while I loved many things there I equally hated others. So I made a call to not be there.

Ask yourself honestly whey you are where you are (I don't need that answer, but you do).

Read some Jung, read some Jordan Peterson ... confront yourself honestly.
Its stuff like this:

Best Wishes
 

newarrior

Have moderate AS live in Asia
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Messages
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I expect MILLIONS of people are depressed, its not quite the same as post surgical depression (which is triggered by a metabolic issue)

I myself do not like drugs for depression, for alone they'll lead to dependency and side effects.

You need to consider counselling.

As to your personality point, well humans are by nature social creatures. So if you've wound yourself up in a knot in the past you'll need to address that or you'll repel people. I believe that a significant part of your problem comes from living in a place which is culturally at odds with your upbringing (unless you were born and rasied there).

I was wound up like a watch spring after 2 years in Tokyo and while I loved many things there I equally hated others. So I made a call to not be there.

Ask yourself honestly whey you are where you are (I don't need that answer, but you do).

Read some Jung, read some Jordan Peterson ... confront yourself honestly.
Its stuff like this:

Best Wishes
I have been in counseling since 1988--I hate meds too..But may be needed..I have studied Jordan Peterson as well
 

newarrior

Have moderate AS live in Asia
VR.org Supporter
Joined
Jun 29, 2019
Messages
358
Location
Thailand
I expect MILLIONS of people are depressed, its not quite the same as post surgical depression (which is triggered by a metabolic issue)

I myself do not like drugs for depression, for alone they'll lead to dependency and side effects.

You need to consider counselling.

As to your personality point, well humans are by nature social creatures. So if you've wound yourself up in a knot in the past you'll need to address that or you'll repel people. I believe that a significant part of your problem comes from living in a place which is culturally at odds with your upbringing (unless you were born and rasied there).

I was wound up like a watch spring after 2 years in Tokyo and while I loved many things there I equally hated others. So I made a call to not be there.

Ask yourself honestly whey you are where you are (I don't need that answer, but you do).

Read some Jung, read some Jordan Peterson ... confront yourself honestly.
Its stuff like this:

Best Wishes
I moved to Asia four years ago because I was miserable and alone in the USA--------my family had died, I was alone, I had no career, I could not find a partner, I felt lost..I am 58 now and starting over in the USA from zero terrifies me
 

Superman

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Oct 3, 2009
Messages
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Location
Grand Rapids, MI, USA
Forgive me for saying so, but I’ve always had trouble reconciling that confident image in your profile with the struggles you share here. Makes me wonder where the disconnect occurs when meeting people.

Just remember that the brain is a physical part of the body. If it’s not feeling well, sometimes medication can help. Just like cholesterol medication or blood pressure medication. Some chronic health issues just need it. But there is a stigma and that’s unfortunate.
 
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pellicle

Professional Dingbat
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Messages
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Queensland, OzTrayLeeYa
my family had died, I was alone, I had no career, I could not find a partner, I felt lost..
there is no journey without return.

we are all alone when it comes down to it.

My view is that one has to be happy with who you are, happy to be solitary (rather than in a destructive relationship) and you will at least be happy there).

I've been alone since the death of my wife (and earlier mother and father). I have no partner no children ... and I make what I can in life.

My wife died just after my last OHS ... just before my infection and months of surgery and recovery. Perhaps you knew that already.

1614224544636.png




I wish you peace
 

newarrior

Have moderate AS live in Asia
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Yes had it since 1989 probably longer--aging, failures in life, health issues have only sent it and my self esteem crashing further.started on a new drug this week; a new counselor last week
 

newarrior

Have moderate AS live in Asia
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Love the Gladiator quote ! I am an actor and have worked with many of greats --this is good, "I've been alone since the death of my wife (and earlier mother and father). I have no partner no children ... and I make what I can in life.

My wife died just after my last OHS ... just before my infection and months of surgery and recovery. Perhaps you knew that already." SOrry to hear.. I understand..agree better alone than with a pyscho..my ex in Bangkok was crazy and mean as a snake
 

newarrior

Have moderate AS live in Asia
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I lost my parents never married no kids so I know the feeling of loss--my sympathies
 

newarrior

Have moderate AS live in Asia
VR.org Supporter
Joined
Jun 29, 2019
Messages
358
Location
Thailand
Forgive me for saying so, but I’ve always had trouble reconciling that confident image in your profile with the struggles you share here. Makes me wonder where the disconnect occurs when meeting people.

Just remember that the brain is a physical part of the body. If it’s not feeling well, sometimes medication can help. Just like cholesterol medication or blood pressure medication. Some chronic health issues just need it. But there is a stigma and that’s unfortunate.
We all have different sides.. I've been an actor in Hollywood, Asia and San Francisco...Never had any issue with that career--and it didn't start till I was past 40...I can work on movie sets with some of the greatest actors and directors ..yet dating and self esteem are a struggle for me
 

Superman

Well-known member
Joined
Oct 3, 2009
Messages
1,140
Location
Grand Rapids, MI, USA
We all have different sides.. I've been an actor in Hollywood, Asia and San Francisco...Never had any issue with that career--and it didn't start till I was past 40...I can work on movie sets with some of the greatest actors and directors ..yet dating and self esteem are a struggle for me
Is it possible being an actor and that constant quest for acceptance and facing rejection has an impact? Confusing what professional acceptance and rejection look like with what personal acceptance and rejection look like? Coupled with what I assume is a higher rate of narcissism (with the people you meet) in your profession vs what one might encounter in the general population?
 

newarrior

Have moderate AS live in Asia
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I just did acting cause it was fun..I fell into in my 40's--such a blast being on set with all these creative people....a true buzz...It happened very organically-one of the highlights of my life...Never dreamed I'd socially or workwise be around people like Deniro, Clooney, Clint Eastwood, get work on some of my favorite shows like Entourage--my people. Better than working 9-5))
 

newarrior

Have moderate AS live in Asia
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Messages
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sorry to hear about the duration, chronic depression becomes a rut.
Damn man what is, "post surgical depression (which is triggered by a metabolic issue)"///That sounds scary ? How long does it last ? How is it treated ?
 

newarrior

Have moderate AS live in Asia
VR.org Supporter
Joined
Jun 29, 2019
Messages
358
Location
Thailand
I expect MILLIONS of people are depressed, its not quite the same as post surgical depression (which is triggered by a metabolic issue)

I myself do not like drugs for depression, for alone they'll lead to dependency and side effects.

You need to consider counselling.

As to your personality point, well humans are by nature social creatures. So if you've wound yourself up in a knot in the past you'll need to address that or you'll repel people. I believe that a significant part of your problem comes from living in a place which is culturally at odds with your upbringing (unless you were born and rasied there).

I was wound up like a watch spring after 2 years in Tokyo and while I loved many things there I equally hated others. So I made a call to not be there.

Ask yourself honestly whey you are where you are (I don't need that answer, but you do).

I left USA cuz I was lonely but lonely here as well..Not thrilled about Asia esp w cardiac issues but I think I would be more miserable in the USA ..
 

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